Playing the Part
by Stephaniiie
Summary: AU/ AH Collab. He’s a famous actor and she’s an English teacher. Apart from being best friends in high school, and unknowingly talking to each other online, what could they possibly have in common?
1. Forget Me Not

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 1- Forget Me Not**

**Bella POV**

The wind rattled the panes in the windows as I huddled up under my duvet for my weekly fix with _Crush_. I sipped my hot chocolate and grabbed the glossy magazine off of my bedside desk, carefully tearing the cellophane off. Yes, I am an English literature teacher with a weekly subscription to a magazine whose main audience is teenage girls and tweens _and _I don't even throw them away after reading them. No, I don't burn them either; believe it or not, I keep them. Stacks and stacks of them in one drawer.

I took another sip and looked down at the front cover into the dazzling green eyes I knew by heart, and always had. This was the reason I got the stupid mag. Edward Cullen. Girls anywhere and everywhere had the hots for him and this was taken advantage of by every magazine published. No magazine aimed at teen girls was ever published without at least one photo of the hottest actor in the world.

This issue of _Crush _claimed to reveal his deepest, darkest secrets. I wasn't the kind of sucker that fell for that - I was totally aware that half of the stuff you read was lies – but I loved staring endlessly at the photos. That was why I only allowed myself one night a week to read it; so that this obsession didn't completely take over my life. I skipped past the lazy slang-ridden first thirty or so pages until I came to the article about the bronze-haired, green-eyed Greek God.

My heart throbbed painfully as I read the caption _'I'm afraid of losing those closest to me'_. "You didn't care about that ten years ago," I thought aloud, sighing and starting to read the article:

_**This week, I was lucky enough to meet THE Edward Cullen and get to ask him what makes him laugh, cry and what really makes him tick. **_I rolled my eyes at the wording._**And I was feeling kind so I decided to share all with you. Here's your **_**Crush**_** scoop on the Culleniser:**_

What the hell? Culleniser? _Really?_

_**So, Mr Cullen, you have female admirers all over the world. How do you deal with this level of obsession and devotion?**_

_Honestly? I don't really. I find it really hard to understand why people like me so much. I mean, you wouldn't go into a forest or something and take six billion photos of one tree, would you? So why do you need several thousand pictures of someone as ordinary as me just sitting in an airport not doing anything? Why do people care what my favourite pizza topping is or whether I have a celebrity crush? I don't really understand it at all, if I'm honest._

_**Just out of interest, what **_**is**_** your favourite pizza topping?**_

I almost gagged as I imagined this interviewer simpering at Edward, asking innocently about pizza when all she really wanted was to jump his bones.

_(Laughs) See? Why do you care? But, for the record, pepperoni and extra cheese all the way._

I sighed, ignoring the pang in my chest as I remembered pizza nights. Pepperoni and extra cheese had been my favourite too. Pepperoni and extra cheese pizza with hazelnut chocolate spread on top… our Friday night treat.

_**Going back to the female attention… what qualities do you look for in a girl? Luck would obviously have to be a factor.**_

_It would? I… I don't really know what I'd look for in a girl. I guess… I like girls that appear to be shy, but underneath it all are as fierce and protective as a tiger. And they have to have an incredible sense of humour, and a great personality. And I prefer brunettes._

_**Wow, you sure ask for a lot! On to the next question…**_

I snorted. She was obviously not his type so had decided to pretend that that had never happened. Bitch.

_**What are the easiest and hardest aspects of being famous, and what motivates you?**_

_Hmm… well, I'm not sure that there _is_ an easy part of being famous. I just do what I love, you know? And it never occurred to me that I'd become… this kind of… I dunno what I am, but I never expected the hype. I guess the easiest thing is that I get to do what I want to and I get paid for it (laughs). The hardest aspect… probably that I can't go anywhere or do anything without getting recognised or followed. And that I can't see my family and friends very often. And dating is a real problem. You never know whether a girl likes you for you or the character you play, you know? Or whether she just wants your money or a picture of herself on the front page of _[Crush].

I spluttered with laughter into my drink as I read _Crush _in square brackets, meaning that he had said the name of a different magazine and they had changed it. Devious.

_What was the last part of the question again?_

_**What motivates you?**_

_What motivates me? Woah. Um… well, I've already said this but I do love what I do so, in some ways, just doing the acting and the music motivates me. Other things… well, I want to make people, the fans especially, proud to say that they like me. I want the people that make me having this career possible to feel like they're not doing everything that they are for nothing, if that makes sense. And I'll do anything if my agent bribes me with a bar of chocolate… (laughs)_

_**What are you scared of?**_

… _I'm scared… of… (sighs) I'm terrified of losing someone I'm close to. I..I .. it just happened.. Once… is that all the questions?_

Was he talking about _me? _No, he couldn't be… could he? He had said himself that he didn't care about me. I decided to go to bed and put the magazine down, to stop my head from spinning uncontrollably, even though I knew that sleep was hardly an escape from Edward Cullen…

***

_The rain pattered against the window, running down and mirroring my tears. I pressed my forehead against the cold glass and curled my fist tighter around the scrap of paper in my right hand. I didn't need to look at it to know what it said, nor did I need to read it to feel awful; to regret everything._

_Every tick of the clock, every beat of my heart, every ragged breath I drew in seemed to be telling me the same thing: he's gone._

_There was a knock on the door then, and Charlie poked his head in._

_I hastily wiped my tears away but we both knew that he had seen them. "You not coming to say goodbye?"_

_I shook my head stubbornly._

"_Oh, right," Charlie remembered. "You fell out." He came and stood by me, where I sat in the bay window seat. "Why don't you put your differences aside and say bye, Bells?"_

"_Can't," I muttered._

_He sighed. "You want the last time you see him to be when you were fighting? Don't you wanna make up? Before he goes? England is a long way away, Bella."_

_As far as I was concerned, he had already gone- he had left me in favour of a pretty girl with a rich family; _my_ Edward had long gone. I caught myself just in time; he never had been mine. "We didn't fight," I lied. "We came to a mutual agreement that we don't want to see each other again."_

"_And I'm sure he regrets that as much as you do," Charlie said._

_I shook my head miserably, though I knew that he was right. He had just summed up what the note had already told me._

_Charlie looked sadly at the carpet. "What was he supposed to do, Bella? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. He can't turn it down on the off-chance that his best friend has loved him since forever and just isn't brave enough to tell him."_

_I glared at him. "He could have done anything. Anything but leave," I spat, choosing to ignore his second statement._

_Charlie sighed again and leant down to kiss my forehead. "I'll tell him you send your best wishes."_

"_He'll know you're lying."_

"_Perhaps," Charlie agreed. "But it's better than telling him the truth." Then he left. I watched out of the window as he drove away in his police car, blue lights dormant and sirens off._

_I sighed and looked down at my clenched fist. Then, slowly, I unfurled my fist and looked at the slip of my paper. Biting down hard on my lip, I opened it up and let my eyes slide over the words: _I'm so sorry about yesterday. I need to talk to you. Meet me in our meadow at 8pm tonight. If you don't come, I'll understand, but there's something you need to know. If you don't come… I guess this is goodbye. I'll miss you, always. Edward xxx

_I let a fresh tear dribble down my cheek. Why hadn't I gone? Now I'd never know what he had wanted to say… I'd never hear his voice again. I had never been more annoyed at myself for anything, than I was annoyed at myself for not going last night._

_I had to see him. Just one more time. I leapt up and grabbed my keys, and then threw them back down when I remembered that my truck was in no state to be driven right now (that was Edward's fault too). I reached for my phone, and cried out in annoyance when my hand met air; why had I thrown it at the wall like that?!_

_So the only thing that came with me as I jumped down the stairs, pulled on my shoes and ran out into the rain was Edward's note._

_I ran all the way down the familiar wet roads to the Cullens' house, desperate to get there in time. Of course, Murphy's Law meant that I had to get there just in time to see the car pulling away. Edward didn't look back…_

I sat up in bed, jolting myself awake. It was with the image of the retreating car stuck in my head that I rolled out of bed and into the kitchen. I looked at the clock on the microwave as I sank into a wooden chair after flicking the kettle on: 3am. From this seat I could see right into the living room – well, the term should be living room, but it was more like a living closet – of my apartment. The blinking light on my laptop telling me that it was in 'sleep' mode reminded me of the writer's block that had invaded that morning.

It had been my dream ever since I had been a little girl to write a book. I didn't mind too much about making a living from it, or being successful, but it would be my dream come true to be able to walk into a book shop and see a book that I wrote on the shelf. Everything I tried, though, ended in disaster. I always got stuck halfway through and either couldn't finish or forced the words out. Any writer will tell you that writing is only ever good when it comes from within; when you don't have to think on the words, they just appear out of thin air. When you have to think about what you want to write, when you try to write things, it comes out all wrong. That is what is known as writers block, and only those people who consider themselves writers – even amateur ones like me – can understand.

The kettle clicked then, bringing me out of my train of thought. I got up and went to the work top. I stopped my hand where it hovered over the caffeine-filled coffee pot, and reached for a fruit tea instead. I went back to bed with a steaming mug of strawberry tea, gulped it down, huddled back under the duvet and fell into a much nicer, dreamless sleep.

***

Romeo and Juliet, one of my favourite books of all time- it was lessons like this in which I _loved_ being a teacher. I mean I got to teach one of my favourite things in the world and share my passion with other people. I was also hoping that it would help me forget last night's nightmare…

"Quieten down please class!" The only down side to it, was I was sharing my passion with a bunch of _year 10's_- who I had a feeling wouldn't connect to the story as much as I did.

Hmm… what would they understand about one of the themes in the book? There was conflict… I guess I could relate it too a war- but no, they wouldn't be interested in _that._

"Oi! Please quieten down and everyone take one of the Romeo and Juliet books and pass them along please!" I handed the pile of books to the front desk, to a pair of students who were obviously _very _attracted to each other.

Then it hit me. _Love. _Why didn't I think about it before? Nearly all the student's could relate to that, or at least have some idea about it.

"Now class, in Romeo and Juliet- we see lot's of different types of love, romance, parental and family love, friendship and unrequited love. Can anyone explain one of these types of love?" Dang! _Stupid_ question to ask to a bunch of immature year 10's.

And, as if on cue, 'Randy' the student I would say in this class had the _worst _reputation for 'trouble making', stuck his hand up. "Yes Randy." I sighed, guessing what would be coming…

"Well, _romanticcc _love, is when a guy and a girl love each other _very_ much and then show their affection by doing-"

But I cut him off before he could give examples of _what_ people in love do. "Yes Randy, thank you. I think we _all_ know about that." I rolled my eyes, before scanning the class to see who else's hand was up. Ahh- Lucy, she was actually good at English. "Lu-"

But I got interrupted by Randy. "Miss, have _you_ ever been in love? You know the lovey-dovey way?" I felt the whole class' eyes on me- even the one's of people who hadn't been listening before.

"No," I replied immediately, but for some reason _Edward Cullen's _face filled my head…

"What- never? Don't you believe in it or something?" _Why_ did he care so much?

I felt myself blush- though I wasn't entirely sure why. "I.. I just think that you need to find the _right_ person… and I haven't.. yet.. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

Sugar, _why_ did I say that? I sighed. "Randy, to be honest I don't think that _my_ love life- has got anything to do with you!" That's good, be strict- _I _was the teacher after all. "Now, who could explain any of the other types of love, please?" I smiled when I saw Lucy's hand rise again. "Yes, Lucy?"

"Well, unrequited love is when you love someone but they do not love you back. Like Romeo 'thinks' he loves Rosaline, but she does not love him." I could see that me and Lucy could get on _very_ well.

"So is that what happened to you, Miss? Did you have unrequited love?" I could see a detention coming Randy's way soon…

But he was _right_, Edward _did_ leave me; whether he knew how I felt about him was a different story. He was now living his big famous life and I was just a blip in his past. He was so much more then a blip in my past.. "Randy! _One_ more time!" I warned him, pointing my finger at him and motioning him to shut up.

Luckily for the rest of the lesson, Randy _did_ shut up- to my relief. But still his words lingered in my head and old memories came back, including last nights dream.

Eventually, the bell went- I let out a big sigh and sunk into my seat, closing my eyes for a bit to calm myself down. Who knew even my favourite book could turn an enemy against me?

I decided to pull out my phone and ring Alice; she would be the _ideal_ person to help me.

"Bella!" Alice answered the phone almost immediately, I hardly heard one ring.

"Hey Alice," I replied- Alice had been one of my best friends; since Edward had left really, though I had never told her anything about Edward. When I met Alice at college she was studying textiles and I was studying English- I have no idea why we clicked as we did, but when I quite literally bumped into her one day on campus, we just got talking and that was that. She was the person that got me back on my feet after Edward had left. Unfortunately, no one as clumsy as me could stay vertical forever and I often needed a little push back up again. Now was one of those times.

"What's up?" she asked, obviously catching onto the tone of my voice.

"Eurgh… just class- same old, look I _really_ need a girl's night out, are you free tonight?" I asked, secretly begging inside that she was free.

"Yeah, that sound's _great_. I've got some news to tell you as well!" she chirped at the end, a little to high for my liking.

"Okay great, shall we say 7 at _Jazz?_" Alice suggested.

"Sure, bye!" I slapped my mobile shut, before putting it into my bag and heading off to the staffroom. Deciding never again to teach Romeo and Juliet to Year 10s*****.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

***for those of you that live outside of the UK, year 10 is kids aged 14-15.**

**Hey guys! So… new fanfic to start the new year. And this is a collaboration too! Exciting stuff, eh? If you're here from THWTLAL then thanks so much for checking this out and I really hope that you liked it :D**

**Neither Laura nor I have ever done anything like this before so hopefully we've done okay *fingers crossed* We're not doing a chapter or a POV each but are simply just writing whatever we feel like doing and combining it to make a story :D Which is hopefully at least halfway decent XD**

**We have the next chapter written but I'm not sure when we'll be posting it because of the exams that I've got for the next two weeks. Hopefully fairly soon ;)**

**For once, I have nothing more to say XD Apart from please review- we'd love to know what you think :)**

**Thank you all very muchly :D**

**Steph**


	2. Takes Two to Tango

**Previously…**

"_Eurgh… just class- same old, look I __really__ need a girl's night out, are you free tonight?" I asked, secretly begging inside that she was free._

"_Yeah, that sound's __great__. I've got some news to tell you as well!" she chirped at the end, a little to high for my liking._

"_Okay great, shall we say 7 at __Jazz?__" Alice suggested._

"_Sure, bye!" I slapped my mobile shut, before putting it into my bag and heading off to the staffroom. Deciding never again to teach Romeo and Juliet to Year 10s._

********

_Since you went away my heart breaks everyday;_

_You don't know 'cos you're not there._

_You simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away;_

_Only you know me._

**-You Know Me, Robbie Williams**

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 2- Takes Two to Tango**

**Edward POV**

I ran my fingers through my wet, messy hair, letting the water droplets run to the end of the strands and linger there. Then, I shook my hair out and pulled a cotton tee over my head. I wandered through my brand new apartment into the kitchen. I had been moving from hotel to hotel for years and I had gradually gotten fed up with packing up every few months, so I had bought this apartment on impulse. At least this way, I could leave my stuff here, even if I did continue to stay in hotels; I'd only need the bare minimum. Besides, it was hardly as though I was short on cash.

I threw some waffles in the toaster and checked my reflection in the mirror in the hall. My hair stuck up in its usual bouffant, something that had been defined as my trademark style. Then I heard my iPhone vibrating on the kitchen worktop. I went back into the kitchen and glanced at the caller ID before picking it up. "Hey Em."

"Edward, my man!" he boomed over the phone. "Have you seen the tabloids this morning?"

Oh, God, here we go… "No," I replied as my waffles popped up. I grabbed the hazelnut chocolate spread – one of my obsessions. I had a few obsessions from my teen years when we'd sit around watching crappy movies and eating pepperoni and extra cheese pizzas, absolutely covered in hazelnut chocolate spread. Yes, pepperoni and extra cheese pizza was my other obsession, as I had told a magazine interviewer that had been all over me a few weeks earlier. "What are they claiming now?"

"Oh just that you're screwing _the_ Tanya Denali!" Emmett informed me.

I groaned. "Again? How many times do I have to tell them that that is not true! We're friends, that's it."

"Well, this one claims that it heard this straight from the horse's mouth."

I put Emmett on speaker phone and smothered my waffles in chocolate spread. "I never said anything of the sort," I said truthfully.

"Not you," Emmett said. "It takes two to tango."

I froze. "_Tanya_ said that?"

Emmett backtracked quickly; he was scared of Tanya, and she was well known for shooting the messenger. That was why not many rumours made up about Tanya were actually made up; she _always_ managed to get payback for made up stories that didn't help her career. "That's what this tabloid _claims_."

"They're not usually wrong about Tanya," I sighed. "Why would she tell them that?"

"Her new movie comes out next month. She probably wants more publicity."

My brow furrowed. "No that can't be it. Saying that will devastate her target audience, and they won't go and see her film."

Emmett laughed loudly. "Yeah because the entirety of her fan base are in love with you. You're so vain, Eddie."

"I'm just stating the truth." I bit into my first waffle, sliding into one of the dining chairs by the table.

"Guess so," Emmett agreed. Then I heard him start the engine of his car. "Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah. See ya." I hung up and finished off my waffles, contemplating the mess Tanya had possibly just got me in. I partly knew why she would say something like that; it was hardly unknown to me that she had a bit of a crush on me. Well, she had once claimed it was love, but she was drunk at the time so I hadn't put too much weight on that revelation. Her persistence was getting more and more annoying though, mostly because she wouldn't get beaten down. I couldn't properly reject her because she had the power to make me lose everything. Occasionally, I deeply regretted taking the scholarship that her father had offered me all those years ago. It gave Tanya Denali power over me, and I didn't like being controlled. Up until then, there had only been one person able to control me, and I was perfectly happy to do as she asked of my own free will. Then Tanya came along, and everything went belly-up. Now I was in far too deep to back out and fighting off Tanya's advances wasn't going to work for much longer, unless I wanted to lose my career.

My iPhone vibrated then with a text message, pulling me from my chain of thought. I glanced at the screen and opened the message from Jessica: _Don't forget the meeting with your stylist at nine thirty._ As if I could. I had hired that girl yesterday and I already knew that she was a whirlwind. I had a feeling that this Alice person had the potential to get on my nerves a little with her obsessive passion but I knew that she was the best girl for the job. She had a good reputation, her own designer label, and some great experience, not to mention her love for what she did. She wouldn't screw up like the last one. Even I had known that wearing that bogey green kimono-like sweater wouldn't have improved my image.

I text back: _Don't worry I haven't. I have forgotten where we're meeting though._

Her reply was instant: _On set, of course. You're supposed to be there at seven, in twenty minutes, for the early morning shoot, remember?_

"Shit!" I leapt out of my chair; I knew I had set my alarm super early for a reason.

I locked the door to my apartment and hit the speed dial on my phone. Jess picked up after one ring. "You forgot, didn't you?" She didn't sound surprised.

"Yes! The car's waiting outside but it takes half an hour to get there and I'm supposed to be there in twenty!" I panicked as I ran down the stairs, shoes in hand, my charcoal grey coat over one arm.

"Relax," Jess told me over the phone. "I'm on my way already and I'll be there early. I'll tell them that you're coming." Then she hung up.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed past the paps toward the car that waited for me as they demanded to know whether the Tanya thing was true.

"No comment," I said again and again; I would have told them outright that it was a lie, because I knew how the 'no comment' thing spurred them on, but I needed to talk to Tanya first.

"Running late today, Mr Cullen?" Larry, my driver, observed when I was in the back seat of the car.

"Just a bit," I replied, glad that I was hidden from the paps by the tinted glass. "To set please, Laz."

The half hour journey seemed to last hardly any time at all. The journey was the one part of my day where no one was asking me questions, or telling me what I should or shouldn't do to make my fans stay with me. Larry knew me well enough to not make small talk while he drove, and I knew him well enough to know that he was quite happy to drive silently.

"Edward, we're doing scene seven," a woman who I recognised, but not by name, told me as soon as I walked in the door.

I fumbled in my brain for what happened in that scene. "The one where Lyssa tells me that she's in love with me?"

"No," the woman said slowly, obviously worried that I wouldn't be able to remember my lines if I couldn't remember what happened in which scene. "The one where she tells you that she's leaving for England. You don't react well."

"Right," I remembered, biting on the inside of my cheek. This was a scene that hit a little too close to home. It was just backwards; the girl doing the leaving.

I went through make up and prep before finally making it on to set. Megan, who played Lyssa, was already there, made-up and gorgeous as usual. There had been a few rumours about the two of us as well, but none of them were true. The only romance rumour I had heard or read about myself that was true, was that I didn't date. I flirted, sure, and I had casual one-night-stands (you really couldn't refuse some of the offers that I got), but I didn't do dating, or love. I had tried, but I could never find a spark at all similar to the one that I had had before. No kiss I had had since I had started in this profession felt like the festering burn of a spark of love, but instead more like I was playing with fire. It was fun, an adrenaline rush, but nothing like running your finger through the beautiful flickering of a candle flame; it was more dangerous than that.

"Hi." Megan smiled at me as I came to her side.

I was about to say hi back, but then Rachel, the director, called out that we should get going. I shot Megan a smile instead of responding, and prepared to start shooting.

This was the part of life I felt comfortable with. At least when you were acting, you weren't yourself. But I didn't know who I was anymore anyway. Ever since I had taken the scholarship in England, my life had been one big act, and I was so good at acting the part, that I lost myself along the way. At least, that was what I told myself. Deep down, though, I knew that I hadn't lost myself. I had simply left the best part of me behind, along with my old life and the girl I had loved.

***

"And that's a wrap, guys," Rachel finally told us at ten am. She came over to Megan and I with a big smile on her face. "That was super. Really, really good. Edward, you pulled it out of the bag _again_! It was like you felt the same things that Seth was going through; very good. And Megan, the crying was awesome. You keep it up, both of you."

I smiled and nodded, and then said a quick goodbye to Megan before slipping out of the studio and along one of the many corridors to the little office-like room where I was supposed to be having this meeting with Alice Brandon. I don't know why I had to have a meeting. What was I supposed to say? I wasn't much of a fashion follower (hence, why I hired her) and I don't know what else you talked about at meetings with stylists when you had just hired them.

I heard her voice from down the corridor. "… no, the kids love it! My best friend's an English teacher at the combined middle and high school, and she told me that the best way to keep the girls interested, and occasionally the boys too, is to compare the things they're reading to celebrities and fashion. I've heard that Edward Cullen comes up quite a lot."

Her tinkling laugh continued, along with Jessica's, as I opened the door and took my seat. Alice was very small, with carefully styled black hair and a very pretty face, her big blue-grey eyes dominant in the centre. She held out a hand. "Hi, I'm Alice Brandon."

I took her small hand in my big one and shook it, shooting her a warm smile. "Edward Cullen."

She laughed again, the noise like bells. "I know that." Then, she leant over and pulled an A3-sized portfolio out from under the desk. She put it on the table-top and pushed it toward me. My name was written on a sheet of A4 paper stuck to the top in what I presumed was Alice's calligraphy.

"Nice writing," I commented stupidly.

Alice laughed. "Thanks. Do you wanna look at some of the designs I had in mind? Because they're _inside _the folder."

"Sure." I flipped it open and was surprised by the incredibly lifelike pencil sketches of me in various outfits. Most of them were tuxes, but some were more casual. Each of the mes had different hairstyles that I could tell Alice was dying to try out. I laughed aloud at one of the more adventurous hairstyles, and said, "My hair isn't easily tamed, Alice. It takes a truck full of gel to get it out of the grungy 'just-got-out-of-bed' look."

"Oh, so you're not just lazy?" Alice asked seriously.

I grinned at her. "Um… not really. Well, that's not the reason for my mad hair anyway." Then I turned the page and stared at the new drawing. This time, it wasn't a sketch of me, but of a girl.

"Oh, sorry," Alice said instantly. "That's not supposed to be in there. It's a dress I'm designing for my best friend…" She reached out to pull it out of the folder but I held her wrist back.

According to Alice's drawing, the girl was slender, but curvy, and was wearing a one-shoulder dress that flattered her gorgeous figure. It had a few ruffles here and there, but judging by the number of faint rubbed-out pencil lines, Alice was unsure of these. That, though, wasn't what struck me about the girl. Her face hadn't been drawn in but her dark, slightly wavy hair was identical to that of the girl that plagued my dreams, my memories and my life. Isabella Marie Swan. I blinked at the drawing for a moment, and then slid the portfolio back across the table at Alice, wanting to get rid of the memories that this girl had dug up. "If I were you, I'd leave the ruffles out," I said. "Ruffles don't really suit her."

Alice smiled at me, with a slight roll of her eyes. "How would you know? Have you met her?"

"That depends. What's her name?" I didn't know what I wanted the answer to be, whether I wanted it to be her or not.

"Bella. Bella Swan," Alice answered, and I felt my heart leap when I heard her maiden name, and then sink when I remembered the circumstances the last time I had seen her. "So, do you know her?"

I looked up at Alice. So, she was best friends with the only girl I had ever loved. "Wouldn't she have mentioned it if we'd have met?"

I waited for her to tell me that Bella _had_ mentioned it, every time they went to see a movie I was in, if they ever did go to my movies. But she didn't. "I guess so. She's hardly an obsessive fan, though, so she might not mention passing you in the streets or anything…"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Of course Bella wasn't a fan. She probably couldn't bear to look at me after I had hurt her like I had. How ironic that, after everything, her best friend would start working for me, her ex best friend. If I hadn't been so stupid, and kept contact with her, then maybe Alice and I would know each other through completely different situations. Maybe, if I had had the guts to tell Bella how I really felt, she could have been at our wedding.

Okay, thinking about that was a mistake. I forced myself to smile at Alice. "They're great. Thanks so much. I have to go now, but it was great meeting you and I look forward to working with you. See you later." I didn't wait for a response before rising and heading out of the building. At the moment, the further I got from Alice and her incredible drawing of Bella, the better.

***

I took a deep breath, rubbing my temples, as soon as I entered my apartment. I needed something to help me unwind and forget about what I had just seen. Today had felt like such a whirlwind of my previous life, first acting out the scene and then seeing that picture of Bella…

I was in such deep thoughts of Bella and today that I didn't realise myself tripping over the massive pile of unpacked boxes, right by the front door. I felt my hand whack against my hard wooden floor, followed behind by my crumpled body.

"Ouch! Crap!" I cussed; like today could go _any_ better?

I slowly managed to stand up, pulling and moving all my limbs to check for any injuries. None. Just my head, but I'd had worse. I looked at the floor, to see that one of the boxes had exploded all around the floor along with its contents- thanks to my fall.

I sighed, before going all around the room, picking up the various objects that I hadn't got around to unpacking yet, random clothes and shoes, x-box - damn I hope that still worked - belts and finally a book. I stopped moving around when I saw the book- I didn't even remember packing this. What was it?

I took it over to my sleek black leather sofa, leaning back to rest my head and aching body, while flipping open the first page of the grand book. The first page was blank, like the front cover- I quickly wondered whether it was a photo album a fan had sent me; it sure did look like a photo album.

My breath skipped an intake for the second time today, as I saw what lay on the second page of the album. It was indeed a photo album- but definitely not made by a fan. It had been put together by me and Bella, when we were 18- just before I left to go to Englandeight years ago. The first picture was of two toddlers holding hands; one was a small boy with a mop of bronze hair, all curly and out of place. The other was a pretty girl, thick brown hair-curling slightly at the end, framing her beautiful pale face. Even at the age of 3, Bella was so pretty.

I skipped a few pages, seeing gradually both me and Bella getting older together- we'd been best friends from the first day we saw each other, thanks to our parents being friends. How could _I_ have lost someone so close to me?

I stopped, when I saw the pictures of me and Bella at our first day of high school. Bella was so nervous that day, but I promised her that I would look after her and stay with her. I remember seeing her face lighten up so much as I said this. I think a part of her thought that as soon as high school started, I would leave her- to find 'cooler friends', but no one could ever be as cool as Bella.

I felt a traitor tear appear, as I saw the next few pictures- the senior prom. The first signs of me breaking my promise and not staying with Bella. I didn't go to the prom with Bella, no I went with _Tanya. _Partly because I knew who her father was, and really wanted to attend his academy and partly because Tanya practically forced and begged me to go with _her._ It had been for a while then, just less than a year, that slowly but surely Tanya was breaking up mine and Bella's friendship. The cracks were beginning to show- even then.

Another traitor tear emerged as I slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. I'd hid it from myself, for these years for a _reason_- the instant, heart wrenching pain it would bring with it. And the guilt. Not just the guilt of how I left Bella, but the guilt of how I made this book with her.

It was about a week away before I was about to leave to England- with Tanya but I still hadn't had the chance to tell Bella. I'd invited her round to create the album with her first, so if she did go crazy and never wanted to talk to me again then at least I would have that first.

_We had fun creating the album- sticking glue on each other, printing off embarrassing pictures off my computer, begging Esme to lend us some old photos and generally messing about. Like me and Bella always did. It was easy with her. But then she got inquisitive._

"_Edward, can I ask now why did we create this? I mean was there a purpose?" Damn, smart Bella- always wanting a reason for something, well it was now or never._

_I ducked my head, and took hold of both of her hands- we were still sitting at the dining room table, after just finishing the album. "Actually, yes there is Bella." I felt, by just holding her hands, her whole body instantly tense at the tone of my voice._

_I looked up into her beautiful chocolate swirls, to see worry filling them. "What?" she barely mumbled, scared of what I was going to say already. It's like we had a brain link between us, and could tell instantly when the other person was going to say something bad._

_I took in a deep breath before replying, looking back down to our hands mangled together, not brave enough to look her in the eye. "I'm.. leaving Bella.. to England.. with.. with Tanya." My voice broke on the last word, knowing how much Bella _hated_ Tanya. I still looked down at out hands, being to much of a wimp to see her face at the moment._

"_B-but.. why?" Bella managed to say, her voice killed me- it sounded _dead_, contained with too much pain and hurt._

"_Tanya's Dad, got me a scholarship.. Bella it's too good to turn down." I finally looked up at her. "I'm sorry." I felt like I had said those words from the bottom of my heart, contained with such meaning for me- but to her it was only words._

_What hurt me even more was seeing her perfect face twist with pain and agony. Big tears fell down her slightly red cheeks, her chocolate swirls had turned bloodshot and her soft slender fingers were wrenched out of my hands._

"_Tanya?" she questioned, it was like she spat the words with venom filling her mouth._

"_Yes Bella- Tanya means a _lot_ to me-" But I got interrupted._

"_More than I do, to you?" More tears rushed out of her eyes, as she said this- causing me so much agony and pain. Bella had always been so strong. I could tell through her eyes – the window to her soul, I had always said, and it was nearly always open – that this hurt her so much, and that she was berating herself for showing it._

"_Yes," I said without any thought- I thought at the time, this was what Bella _needed_ to hear, a lie to help her through it. I realise now that this was one of my biggest mistakes._

_She stood up abruptly, sliding the chair across the floor - causing an unbearable squeaking noise - and running out of the dining room. I tried to follow her, always shouting her name as loud as I could, but by the time I got outside, she was already in her old red truck driving away…_

I whacked my already sore head for letting me remember a memory I had hidden from myself for so many years. Today had been such a long day, too many bad memories resurfacing, that I felt exhausted. I glanced at the clock, which read almost eleven, and decided to grab a coffee from the late-night cafe around the corner. Sitting around here thinking about the past wasn't going to help anything.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Howdy again :D Hopefully you guys liked the little insight into Edward's head there. I would just like to point out now that neither Laura or I have ever been celebrities (lol) so this could be completely inaccurate. Hopefully it's not too bad though ;)**

**Also, because we forgot to say last time, Alice and Edward are not siblings. Emmett is Edward's brother, but Alice is of no relation to them at all, but I'm sure that you already worked that out ;)**

**Their ages are:**

**Bella and Edward- 26**

**Alice- 25**

**Jasper and Emmett- 28**

**Rosalie- 26**

**Jacob- 27**

**Rosalie, Jasper and Jacob have not been mentioned yet, but they will be coming into the story later on.**

**Thank you so much for all of the reviews guys! We're both so glad that you like it and the day after we posted, I was texting Laura saying 'OMC. We have 35 reviews!' and then a few days later it just kinda rocketed and we were major happy :D**

**So… that chapter is kind of extra long so please leave a nice little review??**

**Thank you :D**

**Steph and Laura**


	3. Hidden by a Hood

**Previously…**

_I whacked my already sore head for letting me remember a memory I had hidden from myself for so many years. Today had been such a long day, too many bad memories resurfacing, that I felt exhausted. I glanced at the clock, which read almost eleven, and decided to grab a coffee from the late-night cafe around the corner. Sitting around here thinking about the past wasn't going to help anything._

********

_I can honestly say you've been on my mind since I woke up today._

_I look at your photograph all the time;_

_These memories come back to life and I don't mind._

_**-Goodbye, Miley Cyrus**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 3- Hidden by a Hood**

**Bella POV:**

"Come on!" Alice motioned me forward by tugging my arm.

I gave her a fake grin, before following her towards the door of the club. The only reason in which I was being slow was that we were skipping the _massive_ queue, which had formed for 'Jazz'. I was trying to ignore the glares I knew I was receiving, from the people in the queue who had guessed what we were doing. After all, Alice had promised me that she would get us in easy, but wouldn't explain why.

Eventually we got to the door and were greeted by a very big, scary doorman, who sighed before speaking to us. "Sorry girls, I can do _no_ favors, you have to queue up like everyone else!" He grunted, pointing to the large queue by us.

I sighed and blushed a little, realising that Alice _wouldn't_ be able to get us into the club. I was all set on turning back around and getting laughed at by the other people, when Alice pulled out a note from her tiny black handbag.

"Here," she said, a smile playing on her lips, "from Jasper, _himself."_

The man made another grunting noise, before looking at the pink piece of paper, which I was pretty sure Alice must have faked and again we would now look like _bigger_ idiots. I felt my heart beat go into overdrive as he read the paper in which felt like _hours._

But to my surprise, and the queue's, the doorman started to undo the red velvet which was separating us from the door. "Okay, you can go in," he again grunted, pointing us towards the door.

Alice squealed, oblivious to the boos and moans from the crowd as we walked into the dark nightclub, while I was still in shock to do anything. How did _she_ know Jasper Hale?

With some 'chavy' music being blared out, I followed Alice as she walked down to the bar, in her stilettos- I honestly wondered _how_ she walked in them. She made me wear some once and with my balance… well let's just say that didn't go at all well. I still was able to shudder at the memory.

"What you drinking?" Alice asked me causally, as we both sat down at two bar chairs.

I just stared at her in utter shock, "How.. how did you _do_ that?" I asked, my mouth gaping open into an 'o'.

"Do what?" she asked honestly puzzled. I pointed to the door which we had just walked through. "Oh, _that_. I got Jazzy, to give us a note to get in!" She chirped.

"But how do you know 'Jazzy'?" I asked, realising Alice had never mentioned _him_ before.

"Just a friend of a contact." Alice winked, making her eye's sparkle in delight. "Now what do you want Bells?"

"Umm.. just a lemonade," I mumbled, knowing that I still had school tomorrow so shouldn't get drunk tonight.

"What?" Alice questioned me, her sparkling blue ocean eye's wide. "Come _on_ Bella! Live a little, per-lease!" she begged, trying to pull her 'famous soppy eyed look'.

"No." I spoke firmly, knowing my job was more important. "I have school tomorrow."

Alice could guess by the tone of my voice that I was being serious, so ordered two lemonades, assuming she didn't want to get drunk by herself.

"So what's this news?" I questioned her, as she handed me my lemonade.

"Oh that!" She smiled, her eyes lightening up and sparkling again. "Well I got a new job today as _someone's_ stylist!" she chirped, leaking out all of her excitement to whoever this 'someone' was.

"Great! Who?" I asked, honestly intrigued.

"_Edward Cullen!" _Alice nearly screamed, so the people nearby us were all staring.

I stared at her, wide eyed in shock- was this some kind of cruel twist in fate? "Edward..Cullen.." I spoke the words out loud slowly.

"Oh not you as well." Alice sighed, taking a sip out of her drink.

I blushed, only because I realised Alice had _no_ idea that me and Edward used to be best friend's, and she took my reaction the wrong way..

"Well Bella, I won't actually be meeting him that muchyou know; only styling him." Alice winked at me, before taking another sip.

I didn't know what to do or say, so just took a sip out of my drink too, utterly blank and speechless.

"Hmm.. What is it with you two?" Alice mumbled to herself, but loud enough for me to hear.

"What?" I questioned her, having no idea what she was going on about.

"Just this morning.. well Edward saw a picture- a drawing, I did of you, and acted all weird- like _you_ are being now." Did this mean that Edward knew that Alice knew me? What else did he say about?

"He did?" I asked, trying to act confused to get more out of Alice.

"Yeah… but he said he didn't know you." My heart plummeted to the ground, of course he would have forgotten about _me_ or tried to make out he didn't know me. He left _me_ remember, I was nothing to him now. "Why? Do you _know_ him?"

Wouldn't it be easier just to tell her now? Tell her everything. For year's it had been so hard to keep it from Alice, we were best friends; maybe she could help me? "Err well.. No." I sighed, no she would probably interfere if she knew now, make me meet Edward or something, which I definitely did _not_ want.

Alice gave me a weird look and was about to say something when a voice interrupted her. "Alice!" shouted an unfamiliar male voice.

Alice looked at me with bright eyes, sparkling in excitement before taking a deep breath and replying, "Jazz!"

A tall man with 'movie star' blonde curly hair, dressed very smartly in a grey suit walked over to us, with a big smile planted on his face.

"How, are you Alice?" he asked, itching the back of his head and looking shyly down.

"Good thanks. Jasper this is my friend Bella." Jasper looked at me like he had only just realised I was there, before extending his hand to shake mine.

"Nice to meet you Bella," he politely said, while letting go of my hand.

"You too," I replied, though I think him and Alice would both like it more, if I _wasn't _there.

"Sorry Alice, I need to go, but thanks for coming- it was nice seeing you." He smiled at Alice, before waving us off.

"Another drink?" Alice asked casually, like nothing had just happened- for the _second _time tonight.

"Ahh, nah I better be going soon actually- school night and all. But you and Jasper, ey?" I smiled, winking slyly at Alice.

"Oh Bella, you bore!" Alice complained. "And what about it?" Though now even she couldn't hide the smile on her lips.

"He seems.. very interested in you." I knew how to play Alice.

"Really?" she asked, losing her disguise and showing her real feelings.

Bingo. "So you do like him?" I asked, getting excited like a school girl.

"Is it _that_ obvious?" she sighed, leaning back into the chair.

"No," I laughed back, "but it's obvious he likes _you_ that much." I winked at her, leaving her speechless, "Anyway Ali, I really need to head home, bye." I said, but she was still immobile. I laughed at her and headed back to the door.

The truth was, I wasn't really tired or needed to go to bed yet- just the loud music in their was giving me a headache, after a day like this.

It felt good as the endless quiet and the cold breeze hit my face as I walked out of the nightclub. It helped me to unwind and relax, and most importantly to forget about Edward. I walked to my old Chevy truck that I had kept since high school, given that teacher's wages couldn't afford anything better, and drove home.

I made myself a cup of tea and sat on my old sofa trying to think of anything but Edward. But it wasn't working, so I let my brain rack through ideas on what to do.

Edward was here in Seattle. Edward was Alice's new employer. Edward knew that I was here in Seattle. Edward also knew that he was employing my best friend. The only thing I wasn't sure he knew was who I actually was. I wondered if he still had the photo album we had made the last time I saw him, and regretted thinking about that instantly, as the pain ripped through me. The same pain that ran through me every time that I remembered him telling me that Tanya meant more to him than I did. Over the eight years we had been apart, the pain had never lessened, but instead I felt as though I had grown to bear it. It never failed to catch me off-guard, though, and now was one of those times. Not for the first time, I wondered what he had wanted to tell me the night before he left. Why he had asked me to meet him at our meadow if I meant so little to him. Why I _had_ meant so little to him, while he meant so much to me.

I looked at the clock, which told me that it was almost eleven o'clock, and grabbed my coat on impulse. Now I regretted not staying at _Jazz_ with Alice. I should have known that coming and moping at home wouldn't do anything for me. So I pulled on my cosy Ugg boots (fake, of course; teacher's salary remember?) and tucked my crappy phone into my pocket before heading out along the street toward the late-night cafe that was within walking distance.

I smiled a little when I stepped inside the warm café, and let the door fall back into place behind me as I padded across the floor to join the end of the small queue behind a tall guy in a coat, hood pulled up over his face. There weren't many people in here – me, the guy with the hood, another guy arguing with the cashier about how his coffee was too strong, and a few teenagers huddled in a corner giggling about something.

It was then that I overheard what they were giggling about. "Of course it's not him," one of the girls hissed. "Edward Cullen in a late-night caf? Get real guys."

The guy in front of me glanced up at that too and I felt my pulse begin to hammer as I realised what these girls thought; hoodie dude _was_ Edward Cullen. I ducked my head and glanced up at him, but I still couldn't see his face. _Stop it_ I berated myself _of course Edward wouldn't be here. That girl's right- get real._

After what looked like a little argument, one of the girls grabbed a napkin off of the table and came over slowly, chewing on her lip. She stopped just in front of hoodie dude, who was now fiddling with his iPhone, and cleared her throat.

Hoodie dude glanced up. "Can I help you?"

Oh my God. I turned away quickly. It was the velvet voice that I would never forget. I _knew_ that I should leave, go before I got my heart broken any more than it already had been, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to see his face for myself one last time; the movies never did him justice.

"Um… would you mind signing an autograph for me?" the girl wondered timidly.

Edward looked at the desk, where the man who had been arguing with the girl had just walked away with his coffee and sighed. "Sure." He took the pen and napkin from the girl and rested it on a nearby table so that he could scrawl on it, all without taking his hood down.

I was so close that I could touch him. And that was why this was a mistake.

The cashier girl looked at me. "Hi there. What would you like?"

I stared at her and then shook my head. "No… nothing…" I muttered, starting to back out of the shop. "Um… thank you." And then I turned and walked as fast as I could down the street without running.

***

I lay in bed, still shaking and shocked. Of all of the bloody places to go, I had to go to the same one as _him_! What had I been thinking?! I didn't need a coffee; I didn't need to go to a café! I had gone mad, thanks to Alice's revelation. Well, more thanks to Edward Cullen. It was all his fault that I had been a sociopathic psycho for the last eight years, and I was lucky to have acquired a friend like Alice. I would not lose her over something as pathetic as this. It was in the past, for crying out loud! Why was I freaking scared of him?

Knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep, I fetched some sleeping tablets from the kitchen, knocked them back with a glass of water, and got back into bed, huddling under my duvet. It didn't take long for sleep to find me.

***

_I munched on my cornflakes, watching the news one morning as I lounged in Alice and I's dorm room at Uni. Today was a cold January Saturday, a couple of days before the spring term began, and Alice had gone off somewhere with some guy the night before so I was there alone._

"…_and in just a few weeks the film that is set to be _the_ film of the year is released… and it's only January!" They were on to the showbiz news now. "Why will this film be so amazing? Well, not only does it star Clara Lewis, who won teen choice female last year, but the leading man is going to be played by new-chip-off-the-block hottie, Edward Cullen."_

"_What?" I said aloud, my head snapping up to look at the screen. On it was a picture of my old best friend, the one I hadn't spoken to in two years. Edward was gonna be famous? I felt a smile creep on to my face as the newsreader spoke about the plot of the movie; my best friend was gonna be famous. I reached for my phone to call and demand to know why he hadn't told me and what it was like to be the next big thing… but then I remembered; I hadn't spoken to Edward in two years. Plus, I had lost his number when I chucked my old phone at the wall._

_Suddenly, the door clicked open and Alice came in. "Hey, Bella."_

"_Hi," I muttered._

_She didn't notice my mood, and glanced at the TV, which still had a photo of Edward up. She wolf-whistled. "Wow wee. What a hottie. We have to keep our eyes on that one, Bella," she laughed._

_I hesitated. "Um… well, we were…" I trailed off. What would be the point of telling Alice now? I had lost him, we weren't friends anymore so what did it matter that we used to be?_

_Alice raised an eyebrow. "We were?"_

_Then it came to me; a way to see Edward again and appease Alice's instantaneous crush. "We could go and see the premier for that movie!" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet._

"_Well, I wasn't quite _that_ interested, but what the heck? Sure, let's go! Where is it?" Alice asked._

"_I dunno…" I trailed off; my great plan wasn't so great after all._

_Alice smiled at me. "We'll figure it out."_

_***_

_And that was how three weeks later, Alice and I were stood outside in the freezing cold, pushed up against a barrier in the middle of a heap of screaming teenage girls._

"_Remind me again why I agreed to this?" Alice sighed as a girl with seven inches of make up lathered on her face pushed past, shoving us into the hard metal barrier._

"_Because you want to see Edward Cullen 'in the flesh'," I quoted with a laugh. In the last few weeks I hadn't told her about our previous friendship, but both Alice and I had got increasingly more obsessed… as had the rest of the planet. Edward Cullen was now on the covers of magazines and being called the most wanted man in the world, despite not having released a movie yet. Now there was a lot of hype, and a lot of people were doubtful as to whether his acting skills would stand up to the expectations, but I knew that they would. Edward had always been good at that, whether it was when we had played pirates or something as a kid, or in the youth theatre productions I had always been in the audience for._

_As time wore on and minor celebs came out, I got increasingly more nervous, while Alice got more hyperactive. It was weird, but I was terrified of seeing him again after all this time. Even though I had seen photos so I knew that he hadn't changed, my mind still worried that he had changed beyond recognition, inside and out. Or maybe just the inside._

_And then, hours after we had arrived by the barriers, the loudspeaker announced him and Clara whatever-her-name-was, and I felt sick. At least, that was, until I saw him. His beautiful bronze hair, his dazzling green eyes, his gorgeous muscles, wrapped in the sleeves of his suit jacket… God, I loved him… and I had lost him. You know that feeling you get when you've been promised something you really want and it isn't given to you? The feeling of complete disappointment and utter… just an ache? Like when you're promised a snow day and it doesn't happen. Well, that was the feeling I got, just multiplied by a thousand. The heart-wrenching feeling that you've lost something forever, except in my case it was much more than that. I hadn't lost a something , I had lost a someone. A someone who had turned out to be the most wanted man on the planet, _and_ the love of my life._

_Girls around me screamed his name as he approached, and he came over to the bunch of girls next to me, taking their pens and signing their posters. I watched, gobsmacked. This was my best friend, and he was a proper celebrity being screamed at by fans._

_I hesitated, and then decided to screw being shy. "Edward," I said loudly, trying to catch his attention. Of course, it was useless since pretty much every girl was calling after him too. I tried again. "Edward. Edward! Edward! Edward, it's me!"_

_Alice shot me a strange look as Edward handed the posters back to the girls and posed for a shot from the paparazzi._

_I ignored her. "_Edward!"_ I shrieked. "Edward!" And then I watched as he walked on by, ignoring me as thoroughly as he did almost everyone else. As a last resort, I yelled out his old nickname: "Elmo!"_

_I watched as he froze for a moment, but then carried on walking. And then I knew that he didn't care anymore. He was a superstar, and I was a pathetic hanger-on; he didn't want to know. And I knew that not telling Alice had been the smartest thing I'd done in years. I turned to her miserably. "Let's get out of here," I muttered._

_Alice stared at me. "I want Clara's autograph though!"_

"_Sure, I'll meet you in the car." And then I walked off, turning my back on Edward as thoroughly as he had turned his on me…_

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**And there's the next chapter ;) Hopefully it's getting more and more interesting as it goes and that you like it :D**

**And about Edward's nickname… yes, it is a little strange (okay… a lot) but that will be explained in later chapters, as I've no doubt you figured out ;)**

**Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews guys :) It's great to know that you like it ;)**

**Please review!**

**Steph**


	4. A New Face and an Unhealthy Obsession

**Previously…**

_I ignored her. "_Edward!"_ I shrieked. "Edward!" And then I watched as he walked on by, ignoring me as thoroughly as he did almost everyone else. As a last resort, I yelled out his old nickname: Elmo._

_I watched as he froze for a moment, but then carried on walking. And then I knew that he didn't care anymore. He was a superstar, and I was a pathetic hanger-on; he didn't want to know. And I knew that not telling Alice had been the smartest thing I'd done in years. I turned to her miserably. "Let's get out of here," I muttered._

_Alice stared at me. "I want Clara's autograph though!"_

"_Sure, I'll meet you in the car." And then I walked off, turning my back on Edward as thoroughly as he had turned his on me…_

********

_So dim that spotlight, tell me things like:_

'_I can't take my eyes off of you'._

_I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl;_

_Who's desperately in love with you._

_Give me your photograph to hang on my wall…_

_Superstar._

-Superstar, Taylor Swift

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 4- A New Face and an Unhealthy Obsession**

**Bella POV**

The next morning I woke up with my head buzzing about the one thing that my life had recently begun to revolve around. Or, to be more accurate, the one person. I had woken a whole half hour before my alarm was due to go off, but I didn't feel sleepy; quite the opposite. My mind was running away with me; ideas for a story flew around my brain like birds in a formation, except the ideas weren't completely fictional.

I threw my legs out of bed, fetched my laptop from the living room and got back into bed, turning it on so that I could get my ideas down on to a piece of paper I wasn't likely to lose. While I waited for it to load, I made myself the cup of coffee I had missed out on the night before, even though I knew that once I had gotten into the writing, the coffee would sit untouched on my bedside desk, and go stone cold.

When I sat back down, I opened up a new document and started to write, not bothering to think on it, just writing what came to my head. A while later, I looked over what I had written only to find that I had surprised myself; I had written the whole prologue to a book. Not just the plan as I had originally intended, but a whole prologue. A whole prologue in less than half an hour… I looked at my alarm clock to see how long I had before my alarm went off and I had to get out of bed and ready for school, but it read way past that time.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, flinging myself out of bed and running to the bathroom. I knew I should have bought a new alarm clock that actually went off when it was supposed to! If I had still been asleep… well, I might never have gotten up. This was gonna be the quickest shower in the history of ever…

***

Forty-five minutes later, I ran into the main office out of breath and carrying stacks of paper. "Sorry I'm late," I panted to my boss, and then I realised that she was not alone. "Sorry," I muttered again, ducking my face to hide my red cheeks. "I'll just… get to class…"

"Wait a second, Miss Swan," Jodie stopped me. She gestured to the man beside her, who had a little grin on his face. "This is Jacob Black, and he's a trainee teacher looking for a place here. I was going to put him in your classes for observation because I presumed that you would be a good example of a great teacher but… your timing has something to be desired…"

"I'm sorry, really I am," I blurted. "My alarm just… broke. There's something wrong with the thing, I swear it!"

Jodie smiled a little. "I was joking, Bella. You're always on time; I think we can allow you one late day."

I breathed a small sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"Well, as I was saying, I'm sure you will be okay with an observer, won't you?"

I nodded, looking this Jacob person up and down. He was very well-built with huge wiry muscles, and had a cute face with big dark eyes, almost like a puppy.

"Great. Well then, Mr Black, if you go along with Miss Swan, I wish you all the best." Jodie nodded at Jacob, and then went into her office, leaving me alone with him.

I shot him a smile. "I'm Miss Swan, but you can call me Bella," I said, wanting to make him feel welcome. After all, God only knew how bad I had felt on my first day.

He came to my side and grasped my hand in a firm handshake. "Jacob," he replied, grinning at me and showing off a lot of perfectly white teeth. Next to me, he was a good foot or so taller than me, but it wasn't intimidating like I'd expect it to be. It was just… Jacob.

"Let's go." I freed my fingers from his grasp and led him along the corridor toward my classroom. Kids on their way to first period paused to watch Jacob, probably because he was so tall, but he just grinned at them, not at all worried.

"Broken alarm clock, eh?" Jacob asked after a minute or so of silence. "That's the best excuse I've ever heard for hangover."

"I am not hung over!" I exclaimed, turning to gape at him.

He laughed. "I know that, Bella. I was joking. No one hung over could ever look as pretty as you do."

Despite that clearly being a flirtatious comment, and despite my red cheeks, I couldn't help but smile. It just seemed to be the aura he had; it was a happy one. I decided to change the subject. "By the way, there's a boy in my first class called Randy. He makes a hell of a lot of unsuitable comments, and is a bit of a troublemaker. It's usually better to just ignore him."

Jacob laughed, a deep throaty sound. "He sounds like my kinda guy."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, he's a laugh sometimes, but there are times that I want to wring his neck…" I stopped talking as I opened the door to the classroom. As I expected, most of my class were already sat around, throwing paper aeroplanes and generally being stupid. Except for Lucy, who was sat there with her nose in a book, as usual.

"10.1!" I called out to catch their attention. They all looked up at Jacob. What a surprise. "Okay, class, this is Mr Black. He is here as trainee staff and will be observing our lessons for the next few weeks. I trust you will all make him feel as welcome as you can." I looked directly at Randy for a lingering second, and then turned to Jacob. "Feel free to sit wherever." Then I headed for my desk and dumped my papers on it. "Right. Today, we're ditching Romeo and Juliet for media study."

"Get in!" Randy cried, to nobody's surprise. "No more dudes in tights!"

"Thank you, Randy," I sighed as I plucked the magazines and newspapers from the top of my pile. I gave the class one between two, dropping them on their desks at random. I realised a second too late that I had given Laura and Olivia the tabloid with the papped photo of Edward Cullen on the front, and knew that it was too late to take it back when they squealed in excitement. "We're analysing the _newspaper_, girls, not the people on the covers," I reminded them as I gave Lucy the last magazine.

"I'd analyse Edward Cullen any day," Olivia said.

_So would I_, I thought wistfully.

And then, almost as if he could read my mind, Randy piped up. "Would you, Miss?"

"Would I what, Randy?" I asked, though I knew very well what he meant, and I really hoped that he could hear the warning in my tone.

"Analyse Edward Cullen?"

A snicker went through the class, and I looked sternly at Randy. "Surely, if I would, that would be my business?"

"So you wouldn't?" Randy concluded. "You said _if_ so that means no, right?"

"It doesn't mean yes or no, Randy. It means that it is simply my business."

"So you _would_?"

I frowned. "Why are you so bothered?" Then I sighed. "If it makes any difference, I have not seen any of his movies, so I cannot possibly comment." It wasn't a lie- I _hadn't_ seen any of his movies; ever since he had blown me off at that first premiere I had vowed that I never would. But the second part _was_ a lie. I could talk about Edward Cullen for a century non-stop. I knew things about him that none of these ridiculously obsessed teenagers had even considered. I knew the ghosts in his past and his hopes for the future. The only thing I didn't know was his feelings in the present, though I sure as hell wanted to.

"It says here that he lives in Seattle now!" Laura's excited scream came from her seat, which I was actually thankful for, since it halted Randy's incessant questioning.

I rolled my eyes, though God knew what her reaction would be if I told her how I had seen Edward Cullen the night before in a cafe, how my best friend worked for him, and how I used to have his mobile phone number. "Yes. Fabulous, Laura. Can I continue with my class now?"

"Can't we just talk about Edward?" Becca said. She and her partner, Lewis, had gotten the short straw and been given a broadsheet newspaper.

"No, we cannot," I said firmly. "So… if we looked at Laura and Becca's newspapers, who can tell me what the obvious differences are?"

"Edward Cullen's on the front of Laura's?" Sian suggested.

I sighed in annoyance, and went and took Laura's rumour-ridden tabloid off of her, ignoring her complaints. I ripped off the front cover, and then turned to the centre of the newspaper and pulled out the article about Edward Cullen. The class watched in fascination as I dove under my desk and found my miniature paper shredder (yes, I am prepared for almost anything), and plugged it in. Then I held Edward's face towards me, and fed it through the top, watching as the sharp teeth cut through the paper, cutting his face into so many tiny pieces.

With my jaw set into a firm line, I took the dismembered tabloid back to Laura and Olivia. "Obsessions like this are not healthy," I said to the whole class. "He is just a normal person, no different to anyone else." But as I continued to ask the shocked class the differences between Becca and Laura's given media pieces, my mind was shouting at me: _hypocrite! Obsessions unhealthy, my arse. You're more obsessed than the whole of this class put together._

I tried as hard as I could to ignore the voice, but it was hard, especially when I remembered the satisfaction of shredding Edward's face. Especially when I realised that all I had ever wanted was to hurt Edward in return for shredding my heart. Especially when I knew that despite wanting to hurt him so much, I was still stupidly in love with him.

***

Rosé, red or white? I tapped my nails against the empty glass in my hand as I scanned the bottles of wine in my alcohol cupboard, eventually picking out a bottle of sparkling rosé and popping the cork out of the top. Me and wine was a very rare partnership unless it was Christmas, or if I was going through one of my depressed stages, or if Alice convinced me. Now was none of those situations so it was more than a little surprising that I was pouring myself a whole glass of wine on a Tuesday afternoon. The day had been a little stressful, but that was probably because I had been uptight ever since the shredding-Edward situation. After the class had left, Jacob had even asked if I felt okay which was sweet, but more than a little embarrassing. I had just told him that I was sick to my stomach of bloody Edward Cullen, and he seemed to buy it. Which wasn't surprising as it was true.

I folded my legs underneath me as I sat on my tatty sofa with my laptop and my wine, and opened up the prologue I had written this morning, balancing the laptop on my knees and settling down to read what I had put again…

_She sat there, waiting for him. The time passed so slowly, painfully, because – though she didn't know why – she knew that he was going to come with bad news. She knew he was going to come, only to go. She knew that Edward wouldn't be staying with her._

_She remembered happier times when they would play pirates as children; when he would save her from the danger she inevitably got herself into. When they would play kitchens, and she would command control of the kitchen while forcing him to take the plastic food to their waiting parents. When they would huddle together late at night in the tree house in his garden, him promising her that he would look after her if the monsters she feared ever did come. When she cut her hand falling off her bike and he cut his with the kitchen knife too, so that they could be blood brothers forever, despite the fact that blood made her woozy. Normal, kid things to do, but things that had made Isabella the woman she was now._

_She remembered the times when their bodies were riddled with hormones, or hers was at least. When she would sit for hours on end staring out of her bedroom window at his closed curtains, just because she knew he was on the other side of them. When she would cry when he didn't respond to her calls. When she would lie awake at night imagining how his lips would feel moving desperately against hers, imagining how his touch would make her soar and his hands would handle her religiously, worshipful. When she would quiver at every touch they shared, even though they were few and far between._

_Isabella sat for hours just waiting for the boy she loved. The boy she had loved who had since turned into a man. She had blinked for a second and the boyish roundness of his face had changed to a firm jaw line and high cheekbones, his lanky body had muscled up beyond belief, the few inches he had stood over her changed to at least a foot. The boy she had loved had gone, leaving a man she felt that she didn't know. But she could still find, when she looked hard enough, the trademark crooked grin that she had always loved, the glint in his magical green eyes when he laughed, the kind and loving manner showing through._

_Now, though, Isabella could find nothing of the sort. Not just because he had changed, but because he wasn't there. He had promised her he would be here to tell her something. Something she "needed to know". But he hadn't come. He had stood her up as thoroughly as the boy whose teeth he had punched out four years before. Except, this time, Isabella had no saviour to get justice. To solve everything, make it better, make it all right again._

_As a lone tear stained her cheek with its salty trail, Isabella sat and continued to wait, deep into the dark night. Even though she knew that her knight in shining armour would not appear, still she waited._

_And she knew right then that she would never stop waiting. She would wait forever if it meant he would come back to her._

Edward. I couldn't call him Edward. Every time I read his name, though it appeared so infrequently, a ripple of pain tore through me. I hated the control he had over me, though I hadn't seen him in so long. I knew that this writing was just wishful thinking. Just what I had hoped would have happened if I had gone to the meadow that time. Wishing that, in not going, I had avoided further heartache rather than causing it. Realistically, though, I knew that this would never have been the case. Edward would never do anything like that. Nothing of the sort. Edward was too kind to. But me? Well, I had done it to him. Of course, he wouldn't have placed the same weight on it as I would have; he wouldn't have waited all night, but I still didn't tell him that I wasn't coming. I still left him there in the rain and let Charlie go and wave him off without me. Let him know that I didn't care.

If only I'd have let him know that I did. I would do anything to go back in time and just tell him that I loved him but back then my pride meant more to me than Edward. I thought that telling him that would result in never seeing him again. The irony was that it wouldn't have made any difference.

I looked back at what I had written, and opened up the internet icon, going to the writing site in my favourites. I had never posted anything here before, but I had read plenty. A few of the stories people posted were incredible, and it made you wonder why they weren't published, but a lot of them were… well, to put it nicely, a little bit rubbish. And a very small amount barely even used punctuation. As an English teacher, that pissed me off more then I could say, and that was partly why I didn't say anything in a comment. A lot of people, though, weren't afraid to say what they thought, and if that included 'go curl up in a corner and die' then that was what they put. That was the reason why my hands were shaking as I uploaded the document. Halfway through, though, I realised that I couldn't post this online with mine and Edward's names in; who knew who could come across it?

Hurriedly, I clicked cancel, and went back to the document. I tapped my nails against the desk and poured another glass of wine as I tried to think of a name that would do Edward justice. When I came up blank, I went back to the browser and opened up a new tab, typing 'Names' into Google. Instantly, a load of baby name pages came up, and I clicked on the first one, and then on to the random name generator. I clicked 'Go' and the browser took several seconds and then came up with the name Robert- German name meaning 'fame' or 'famous'. Fine; Robert it was. And now for my name. Isabella was common enough but… well best not to risk these things. I clicked 'Go' again, and this time it came up with the name Kristen, also German, meaning 'Christian'.

I replaced all of the names, and then headed back to the writing site to start uploading it again. Almost instantly after posting, I got a new email that read: _New Story by Isabella: __**Losing Love and Losing Faith**__. _A bubble of excitement settled inside me; people could actually read this right now. I clicked on the link and looked at my words on the screen in front of me, but my eyes stopped at the title. Really, it was a true reflection of what I felt. I had no faith that true love existed more than once and I had been foolish enough to let it get away from me. I knew that if there was one thing I could go back and change in my whole life it wouldn't be doing that extra studying for my finals, and it wouldn't be asking Edward to prom before Tanya had. It would be to not have abandoned him in the meadow. Because it was due to not going that I had lost all hope in ever seeing him again.

I sighed, and went to turn the kettle on, ready to settle down to an evening of waiting for hits on my story.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hello again :) So… the plot thickens much? ;)**

**Please don't yell at us too much for putting Jacob in- at the moment he poses no threat… yes, at the moment ;)**

**GUYS! This is **_**important**_**. A few people have sent me messages telling me that this story has been copied. ****This story is a collaboration with the fabulous Lauraaaaa.**** She did not plagiarise it- she wrote half of it lol. Thank you to those of you that did send me messages though- because I'd always rather know if these things are happening behind my back, especially after the plagiarism of AMMM.**

**And, while we're on the topic of Laura, she is writing a fantastic story (which I am beta'ing) that is very awesome and I'd recommend checking it out. It's only three chapters long so far, but if you're looking for a new read, then the link is on my profile :)**

**Now, the next chapter will be mostly in EPOV, but I'm not sure when the next update will be. Obviously with the two of us sending back and forth etc we can't update that often, but weekly is pretty good d'you think? Yeaah XD**

**So… what do you think is going to happen next? Predictions are always welcome ;)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	5. Just Another Guy

**Previously…**

_I replaced all of the names, and then headed back to the writing site to start uploading it again. Almost instantly after posting, I got a new email that read: New Story by Isabella: __**Losing Love and Losing Faith**__. A bubble of excitement settled inside me; people could actually read this right now. I clicked on the link and looked at my words on the screen in front of me, but my eyes stopped at the title. Really, it was a true reflection of what I felt. I had no faith that true love existed more than once and I had been foolish enough to let it get away from me. I knew that if there was one thing I could go back and change in my whole life it wouldn't be doing that extra studying for my finals, and it wouldn't be asking Edward to prom before Tanya had. It would be to not have abandoned him in the meadow. Because it was due to not going that I had lost all hope in ever seeing him again._

_I sighed, and went to turn the kettle on, ready to settle down to an evening of waiting for hits on my story._

********

_I got used to living without you;_

_Endless phone calls and dreaming about you._

_Always said that you were my meant to be._

_I guess… I was in love with your memory._

_You know I love you; I really do,_

_But I can't fight anymore for you._

_I don't know maybe we'll be together again;_

_Sometime, in another life._

_**-In Another Life, The Veronicas**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 5- Just Another Guy**

**Edward POV**

"Eurghh!" I groaned, as the light slipping into the room slowly woke me up.

Wait. Why was the _light_ waking me up? Surely I hadn't woken up before my alarm? That _never_ happened. I twisted just my head, as my body was still dead to look at the blue alarm clock by me.

It read _10:30, Thursday 29__th__ Feb._

_10:30_

"Shit!" I cussed, as the time suddenly sank in. "You stupid piece of crap!" I shouted as I threw it across the room- I knew it wouldn't help one bit, but at least it made me feel better.

I quickly jumped out of my bed, causing a massive head rush, and ran to my wardrobe, putting on whatever I could find. I ran downstairs and grabbed my keys and iPhone, not bothering with any food. I looked down on my iPhone on the way out to see a million messages from Rachel, the Director. Shit, was I going to be in some big trouble.

Luckily Larry was still waiting for me outside, but so were the paps- something today I could have done _without_. But, as usual, I pushed past them and ran to the car door.

"Mr Cullen, you're an _hour _late," Larry pointed out as he drove down the road, which was odd from him, as he rarely talked to me. But I guessed that today would be the day that everyone hated me.

"I know, I know. My damn alarm didn't go off!" I growled, scaring Larry a bit.

Larry raised his eyebrows at me in the mirror, before turning back to look at the road. I decided it would probably be a good idea to call Rachel and tell her where I was.

"Cullen," Rachel growled at me down the phone.

"Look, Rachel I'm really sorry- but my alarm didn't go off, really." I tried to persuade her; luckily Rachel was a nice person.

"Yeah, because I haven't heard _that_ one before, now get your damn ass here Edward!" Okay, maybe not such a nice person…

"I'm on my way," I said, while ending the call. I leaned back into the leather chair, while banging my head on the headrest and letting out a big sigh.

"That bad?" Larry asked.

"Yup," I replied, popping the 'p'.

"Oh dear," Larry said, sounding out the words longer.

I sighed again, as I listened to the music being played. It was Debussy, and _usually_ it calmed me, but not today. I wondered what people would think of me, if they knew the _real_ me. There was only ever one person who ever did know me inside out- _Bella. _I could still feel my heart sink to the ground when ever I thought of her. How could I have lost someone _so_ important?

"We're here," Larry said after the half hour journey, pulling me out of my trance.

"Thanks," I replied, getting out of the car and walking onto the set, to some _very_ angry people.

***

"Edward, come ON! Do it properly, or go home!" Rachel shouted at me. Seriously what was with her today? She was never like this, but today she had been so stressed out that it was unreal. Every scene we had finished off could not be perfect in her eyes, and Megan and I could never get it right. We had spent all morning, and the best part of the afternoon, repeating scene after scene.

This afternoon _was_ the scene where Lyssa tells me she is in love with me and that she's leaving for England. This bit wasn't as bad as the other one, but it sure as heck hurt. It reminded me too much of all the things I _should_ have told Bella, but never got the chance to. I constantly wondered whether I would have told her my real feelings if she had turned up. I had intended to, but I knew that I was far too much of a coward to go through with such a thing. I hoped I would have defied my own expectations. I hoped I would have told her everything I loved about her; how her hair bounced perfectly when she walked, _how_ she walked – she had me in a constant trance – the way her deep brown chocolate eyes could capture my concentration and never let go, her beautiful slim but curvy in all the right places figure… Especially when she bit her plump red bottom lip when she was nervous, I knew she was hurting herself doing it, but I couldn't help but love it. It was Bella. I loved everything she ever did. So why did I leave her?

"Edward, for Christ's sake!" Rachel was screaming now.

"Sorry," I said to both Megan and Rachel, as I dazed out of my trance.

"Last warning Cullen, now come on!" Rachel said. "Action!"

I didn't hear the words 'I'm leaving' come out of her mouth, instead just watched her lips move. Then I stared at her. "What?" I gasped.

"I'm moving to England," she told me. "There's just more there for me."

I let out a little sarcastic laugh. "More there for you. What about me, Lyssa? Do I mean nothing to you?"

She was silent, and I shook my head. "Well, good riddance," I muttered, turning my back on her.

"Rob, wait, there's something else," Megan called out, pulling my arm back behind me.

"What, what is it Lyssa?" I turned around, to look at Megan's pretty face, really wanting it to be Bella's, wishing I could go back in time and not make the mistake that I did. Wishing that I could be back in the same position as Lyssa was in the movie, just so that I could change it.

"I.. I..I.. _love_ you Rob." Megan acted and started to fake cry.

"What?" I replied, trying to sound shocked.

Megan licked her lips and looked down to the ground before repeating, "I love you Robert."

I gulped, and in that instant everything that I knew I was supposed to do disappeared from my head as Megan morphed into Bella in my mind's eye. "As I love you," I replied softly, the complete opposite of what had been scripted, but I couldn't let the same thing happen twice…

"No, no, NO!" Rachel screamed. "CUT! Arghh, Edward, what _have_ I told you?! It's meant to be _sad_ not, 'lets go and have a shag!'" Then she looked down at the script in front of her. "Wait, you're not even supposed to say that in this scene! You're supposed to freak out at her and accuse her of lying, not confess undying love!" She sighed in exasperation. "Edward, we have _one _more shooting day left on this movie and you still don't know your lines?!"

"I'm sorry," I apologised. "I don't know what came over me…"

Megan looked at me and laughed. "Just ignore her Eddie, I thought it was good." She smiled and gave me a sly wink, which just made me uncomfortable.

"Right, I've had enough! We will pick up this scene _tomorrow,_ and maybe on time Mr Cullen?" Rachel sarcastically said.

"Yes, look I am sorry I-"

"No excuses Cullen, I want a word with you." Rachel motioned me to come over to her.

_Shit, this can't be good_, I thought to myself as I walked over to her.

Rachel placed her hands on her hips. "Now it's _too_ late for me to sack you Cullen, but I swear, do the same like this tomorrow and expect your wages to be docked!" Rachel threatened me.

"I promise it won't happen again, it's just don't you think it's just a _tad_ bit cliché going with a OTT bad reaction, when you could have-"

But Rachel cut me off. "Cullen, let me remind you that _I_ am the director! _Not_ you, so whatever _I_ say goes! Now go home and get some sleep! I want you all in an hour early tomorrow!" she shouted the last, but to everyone around.

There was a mumble of complaints from the crew, but one look from Rachel shut them up.

I started to walk back to my changing room to get changed, when Megan came up to me.

"Jesus, why is _she_ in such a bad mood today?" Megan questioned, looking as confused as I felt at the moment.

"I know- time of the month?" I joked.

Megan giggled. "Haha, maybe. Um… are you free tonight?" she asked a bit too sweetly.

"Err, you know what- I think I'm just going to head straight to bed, today has been _too_ long. Some other time?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't take me up on that too soon- the press were doing my head in already about me and her; they didn't need more fuel to feed the fire yet.

"Yeah, sure, I'll see you tomorrow then," she replied, looking a slightly bit disappointed.

"Sure, bye," I said, while walking back into my dressing room.

***

Larry could see from my expression that it _wasn't_ a wise idea to talk to me, so luckily he stayed quite until the end of the journey- which I was glad of.

"Thanks," I mumbled, as I slammed the car door shut, to find only one paparazzi outside of my door; weird.

I slammed my front door shut and sank to the floor, while putting my hands in my head. Well what a crap day today had been, from start to finish. I remembered when I was younger and had days like this, but at school. The difference was, then I always had Bella to come back too; she always used to brighten the worst of days and made me feel a million times better. Bella, Bella, Bella. It was the only thing I thought about recently, after the meeting with Alice.

Completely on impulse, I decided to get my Mac book out and Google Bella's name; maybe she was on the web doing a great career?

I typed In Isabella Swan, my shaking hands causing me to have to type it a few times to get it right.

It came up with a load of _junk_, a few facebook and bebo sites, but none of those were Bella's. I almost laughed at the thought of Bella having a social networking site, _how_ unlike her was that! But then I remembered I hadn't spoken to her in years, who knows how much she could have changed?

I clicked and surfed through a few other pages, finding nothing on her. What was she doing in her life?

For some reasons my eyes laid across a site called _fictionpress _with a story by a person called Isabella. I decided to click on it; it could occupy me for a while. I quickly read the summary and was instantly drawn to it, so clicked to view the prologue.

After 5 minutes, I was finished, but was begging for more. This 'Isabella' had written so magically and perfectly, she drew me in with every word she wrote. Her story had made my stomach feel sick and achy with sorrow and my mouth to dry up. It was like this person had taken all of my jumbled up thoughts – or, at least, the gist of them – and turned them into real words, sentences that made sense, rather than the deep, gut-wrenching pain I could never explain even in my own head. I instantly wondered if this was how Bella thought about _me_, but quickly realised it wasn't. She never loved me. She was probably better off without me; she could go live her life now! Like I had done, or at least _tried _to.

I clicked on the reviews only to see that there were _none_. Were people crazy? This girl deserved more than that, so I clicked on the button labelled 'sign up' and made myself an account under the name of 'Just_Another_Guy'. That sounded normal. Nothing like 'the Edward Cullen'. I could only imagine the disaster that would be a bazillion teenage girls discovering that this was my account so when it asked what I would like to write in my biography, I simply wrote:

_I am a guy, and am 26 years old. My name begins with E but I am keeping the rest to myself :)_

_I live somewhere in the United States, but I move around a lot. I am currently somewhere within the state of Washington._

I left it at that. Nobody could guess that it was me from that much information. Then, I went back to Isabella's story, and clicked on the review button.

_Isabella, this story is amazing. Flowing and beautiful and it is only the start! Please keep on writing; I have to know what happens to this girl._

_Thank you _

_E x_

The computer screen was giving me a headache, so I decided to turn it off. Thanking God that tomorrow would be the last day of shooting, I headed to bed only to be confronted with the same recurring dreams of the girl with the deep brown eyes. But I knew that that was something that would never change.

**Bella POV**

Friday, at _last_. This week had been one heck of a week and all I wanted was for it to be over and finished with. Jacob had sat in on every one of my classes, and that put more pressure on me to be a good teacher. Outside of class, though, he was very friendly, perhaps too friendly, popping out to buy me coffees in between classes and asking me about my personal life. You know, the usual crap like whether I had a partner, whereabouts I lived, what I was doing at the weekend… but I was beginning to realise that he wanted more than just the internship he had.

As well as this, Edward Cullen had been on the front cover of magazines and newspapers all week, and my year 10 class had told pretty much the whole school that I had shredded his face so now I got the odd cheeky student asking me about it. It didn't help that most of the stories about him this week included that bitch Tanya Denali. Tanya was a Barbie doll, and that was the only way I could describe her. Edward had dated her in our senior year in high school, and her Dad had owned the performing arts college he had gone too. Of course, her connections to her father and Edward meant that she was now famous as well. She was a supermodel, which figured because – as far as I knew – she didn't have the brain cells to do anything else. I remembered when she had first started at our school when her mother had brought her to the States and back then she had certainly lived up to her hair colour: shiny platinum blonde. Edward and I would sit together on the bleachers watching as she led cheerlead practice and joke about how her bra size was probably the number of brain cells she had multiplied by itself. I know, a little cruel, but hell it was funny. At least, until Edward discovered that her Dad owned the academy he had wanted to go to since he was five and then sided with the enemy.

I glanced at the clock as I adjusted my pencil skirt and sipped at my coffee, seeing that I had plenty of time left until I had to leave. Then my glance slid across the room to my laptop that sat in its usual place. Every morning, afternoon and evening I had checked that site for hits and comments, but so far the beginnings of my story had only had thirteen hits, and none of these people had thought it good enough to comment on. I decided that I wouldn't disappoint myself further by looking this morning, and would wait until I got in from work. I had actually felt that this story was going somewhere, and had written the whole of the next chapter too. I bargained with myself that I would post the next chapter this evening and, if there were still no comments, then it was officially crap and I would take it down, give up and remain stuck in my non-moving career for the rest of my life.

With that, I tipped the rest of my coffee away, grabbed my bag and headed for the door, knowing that Jacob would get to work before I did as he did everyday. I needed something to brighten my day right now, and I knew that he would probably do the job.

***

"Hey Bella!" Jacob called out to me, as soon as I'd walked into the staff room.

"Hay." I smiled back while walking to the far corner to where Jacob stood.

"How are things?" he asked, showing me his white gleaming teeth.

"Pftt, fine and you?" I asked.

"Yeah.. yeah things are good..err.." Jacob ducked his head and started to play with the back of his neck. "Bella.. You don't.. happen to want to go out.. sometime?"

"Err…" Oh God, this had been the question I was dreading, "maybe sometime… it's just… I don't date." I sighed, only because it was the truth. Ever since Edward had left, it felt like he took a big chunk of me away from him that could never return; and without that chunk I was broken and lost. Too lost to ever want to think about seeing another guy again, it would only bring up bad memories of Edward and who could ever compare to him anyway? I _knew_ he was the love of my life, I just had to forget him. And I tried. Really hard, just not hard enough I guess; not when I literally saw his beautiful face _everywhere._

"What, ever?" Jacob asked, pulling up one of his eyebrows.

"No.. I.. I just have had bad experiences with dating." I mumbled, knowing it sounded like a crap excuse but was true… well kind of.

"Oh," Jacob said, leaning back onto the wall that was behind him.

"I'm sorry-" But the bell indicating first period cut me off. Me and Jake both gave each other an awkward smile before leaving together for first period.

***

I sighed, as I lent back on my lumpy mattress that was on my bed; before pulling my laptop out and onto my lap. I knew there was not much point looking for any reviews, but couldn't help myself anyway. I bit down hard on my lip as I clicked down on my e-mails and saw 2 new messages, which were probably just spam.

I quickly saw that they were both from _fictionpress_ and got very excited when I saw that one was a review and the second a favourite story alert. I just prayed that the review was good.

I slowly clicked on the review mail and read the mail very quickly, with my heart skipping a beat afterwards. It _was_ good, extremely good!

_Isabella, this story is amazing. Flowing and beautiful and it is only the start! Please keep on writing; I have to know what happens to this girl._

_Thank you_

_E x_

I couldn't help the massive grin that formed on my face, if only this "E" person knew how much he had brightened my day, my week even!

I saw a link which let me reply to the person, so clicked on it immediately. I twinkled my fingers for a minute as I decided what to say. Really I wanted to say thank you a billion times, but knew that, that would look a bit immature and unprofessional. So decided on:

_Thank you so very much! I'm glad you like my story so much, it means a lot. I am going to update very soon, so please keep on reading._

_Isabella._

I grinned, as I checked the other e-mail which told me that this "E" guy had also made my story into one of his favourite- well of all these must be good signs?

A sudden familiar tune, awakened me from my happy trance and brought me back to reality. I looked onto my vibrating cell to see Alice's name. I let out a big gush of air before answering.

"Hey Ali." I said.

"Bella! You'll never guess what!" Alice nearly screamed down the phone.

I sighed, wondering what the hell it was _now_, "What?"

"_Edward Cullen_ is having a party as his film set has finished shooting! And he invited _me_ and a guest! Pleaseeee say you'll come!" Alice whined like a five year old begging for sweets.

"Err.." I said for the second time that day. Going to that party would _surely_ mean seeing Edward and I _don't_ think I was one bit ready for that. I mean what would I do, what would I say? I doubt he would of even remembered me, and if he did- then I obviously meant very little to him as he never got back in contact with me or anything. No. Going tonight would definitely be a _bad_ idea. I would be letting myself rip open to all the memories and emotions that I had managed to hide and forget about.

"Oh come on Bella!" Alice moaned. "It'll be _fun_ and it's a Friday night!"

"No." I said firmly, knowing that seeing Edward would be bad, or more possibly that I was too scared and too much of a wimp to see him. "Alice I really don't feel to well.. and today's been a really long day for me, I just need my bed to be honest."

"Bella, you're no fun! Don't you want to meet _Edward Cullen_ or something? I mean you sure did when we went to that premiere…" she trailed off.

"No, I do." I lied. "It's just that I really do not feel well Alice, come on! Would I lie to you?"

"Probably yes Bella, " Alice giggled, "But you're my best friend.. So I'll let you off this time… get better Bell's; because tomorrow will endure a _whole_ day of me telling you what happens tonight!" I mentally cringed about this, I could imagine Alice telling me stories about Edward and Tanya together all night.. Great.

"Sure, bye- have fun!" I tried to sound positive, but already I was regretting missing on a chance to see Edward.

"Thanks, Bye." Alice ended the call.

I fell back onto my pillows on my bed and let my eyes rest and shut. My mind couldn't stop thinking about what could happen if I actually did go to the party. Would he remember me? Would he apologise, or would he just laugh at me? No, Edward wouldn't do that.. but, then again, who knows how much he could've changed by now?

I knew that there was only one way to find out, but I also knew that I was too much of a coward to even begin to consider it. I opened my eyes stared at myself in the mirror opposite my bed. "What is it then?" I asked myself. "The usual night in? Or are you gonna screw that and actually take a chance?"

The girl in the mirror blinked at me, completely unsure of how to answer.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Well, well, well… ;) First cliffie? Ah I love 'em XD But only when I know what's going to happen lol**

**Oh for those of you that asked about the Rob and Kristen name thing in Bella's book… **_**total**_** coincidence of course… NOT XD Yeah, that was very intentional, as with the Rob thing in Edward's movie. It just seems quite funny to reverse the roles in a way :)**

**IMPORTANT!!! Sorry guys but Laura has some bad news… would you like to tell them? ;) No, she's gone quiet XD Basically, Laura is going on holiday next week so there will not be an update for another week and a bit. I'll try to do what I can but I will not be posting this while she's not here. Hopefully though, we will have the next chapter all ready for her return ;)**

**Really sorry about that guys :( But I will be suffering too- whatever will I do during the looong evenings if I have no one to talk to on msn? Lol**

**I think that's everything… apart from one teeny tiny little request…**

**Please review? :D**

**Thanks**

**Steph (and Laura)**


	6. Distractions

**Previously…**

_I fell back onto my pillows on my bed and let my eyes rest and shut. My mind couldn't stop thinking about what __could__ happen if I actually did go to the party. Would he remember me? Would he apologise, or would he just laugh at me? No, Edward wouldn't do that.. but, then again, who knows how much he could've changed by now?_

_I knew that there was only one way to find out, but I also knew that I was too much of a coward to even begin to consider it. I opened my eyes stared at myself in the mirror opposite my bed. "What is it then?" I asked myself. "The usual night in? Or are you gonna screw that and actually take a chance?"_

_The girl in the mirror blinked at me, completely unsure of how to answer._

********

_Blow the candles out; looks like a solo tonight_

_I'm beginning to see the light_

_Blow the candles out; looks like a solo tonight_

_But I think I'll be alright_

_**-Candles, Hey Monday**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 6- Distractions**

**Bella POV**

"Come on, come on!" I muttered. "Alice pick up already!"

"Hi this is Alice Brandon!" her automatic message answered. "Sorry that you missed me but you should have called some other time, shouldn't you? Only kidding! Leave a message and, if you're important, I'll call you back!"

Then the beep rang out, and I said, "Um… Alice it's me. I… oh, just call me." I hung up and jammed my keys in the ignition, revving the engine of my truck. My whole body was shaking, nervous at seeing Edward again after all of this time. I tried not to let the 'what if's run through my mind but it was hard. I mean, he would have changed, no doubt about it. He was a freaking superstar who everyone loved and I was… the same old me.

I knew where the party would be even though Alice hadn't told me. There was really only one party venue in Seattle that celebrities would even bother going to, and that was the _Tisale Arms Hotel_. I mean, _Jazz_ was awesome, but it wasn't quite good enough for celebs. Especially not ones as big as _the_ Edward Cullen. Besides, this was a pre-movie party; they didn't hold those at clubs.

It took twenty minutes to get there. When I parked my car as close as I could get – which was a good few blocks away – I felt sicker than I ever had. The prospect of seeing Edward had me stupidly nervous, especially when there was every possibility that he wouldn't remember me. I hitched my bag up on my shoulder, and shook out my hair, trying to look confident; like I belonged here.

Of course, I had completely forgotten about the bouncers on the door. One of them blocked my way. "Can I see your invite please?" he asked.

I frowned. "Um… I'm a plus-one. Alice Brandon?"

He looked at his guest list. "Brandon?" he checked, and then he jabbed his finger on the page. "Sorry, she's already got a plus-one. They went in together a while ago."

"What?" I stared at him. "But I'm her best friend! She invited me!" And I had been stupid enough to turn it down… "Who was her plus-one anyway?"

"Some blonde guy," the bouncer replied, snapping his file shut. "Sorry, kid, no invite- no pass."

I licked my lips. "But… My name's Bella. Bella Swan. I was… I was friends with Edward?" It sounded all wrong. It sounded like a lie.

The bouncer raised his eyebrows at me. "Sorry, Miss. I can't let you in."

"I'm telling the truth!" I exclaimed. I knew that I was going over-the-top. I knew that I should thank him and turn around before I made myself look any stupider than I already did. But I couldn't believe that I'd come this far to be turned away.

"Unless you have an invite, I cannot let you pass." The guy turned to the couple that had appeared next to me then, and took their invites, checking it over for validity and then ticking their names off on the guest list and letting them through the door.

"Please," I said. "Can't you call him over or something?"

The bouncer sighed. "Look, kid…"

"I'm twenty-six," I said indignantly, fed up of being called a kid.

"Whatever. How many people do you think ask me the very same thing?" He raised his eyebrows, daring me to answer, before continuing. "How many pretty young'uns like yourself do you think have the hots for my boss, eh? They'll tell any story to get close to him and I've fallen for it too many times. You call him over, and he doesn't have a clue who they are."

"But he _does_ know me!" I insisted. My voice wasn't as strong as it should have been, though; I knew Edward, but what if he didn't remember me? He'd come over and claim that I was a liar. Just like the other girls.

"Really?" He was sceptical. "I ain't calling him over. See, girly, Mr Cullen doesn't much like to be bothered. He's… what you'd call an introvert…"

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, and bit down hard on my lip. The one time I had actually gotten anywhere close to Edward and I hadn't been allowed anywhere near him. I should have known better than that. "Fine," I sighed. I turned away and headed back toward my truck. As I started up the engine, I saw the guy watching me with an amused expression on his face. Yeah, because a girl with a Chevy truck and a broken heart can't possibly be friends with _the_ Edward Cullen.

**Edward POV**

"Alice!" I called out with all the voice I had in me. Though it didn't work; the music was too loud. "Excuse me," I said as I pushed past some people in front of me. "Alice!" I tried again.

Luckily this time I was close enough for her to hear me. She turned and grinned at me, the skirt of her jade green designer dress twirling around her. She even had matching earrings. I swear that girl would use any excuse to dress up. "Hey Edward!"

"Hi." I smiled back. Damn, why had I come over to her? Bella. Was Bella here with her? I knew it was highly unlikely – this was hardly Bella's 'scene' – but a little… okay, a _big_ part of me hoped that Alice had invited her.

"Congratulations!" she shouted over the music. "The party's amazing!"

I didn't bother informing her that it wasn't _my_ party. "Good! Did you bring anyone?" I couldn't help but ask, even though I knew that doing that was torturing myself.

"Uhh.." Alice looked around; my heart started to pound harder in my chest- maybe Bella _was_ here? But what if it was her? What would I say? Oh, for Gods sake, did it even matter? I bloody loved the girl; I highly doubted that it mattered what I would say. As long as she didn't stamp on my foot and flounce off, or start yelling at me for abandoning her, it would be okay. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't deserve either of those things, but maybe she'd hear me out? The Bella I had known would have done. Hell, maybe I should just kiss her?

Alice located who she was looking for then, and broke me out of my nervous planning. "Hey! JASPER!" Jesus Christ, she had a _loud_ voice for a small girl!

I couldn't help the heart wrench that occurred when a blonde guy appeared by Alice. Not because I had feelings for Alice, not one bit; only because… he wasn't _her_. "Oh. Hello," I said politely to the man.

"Jasper, this is Edward Cullen," Alice introduced us.

"Of course I know who _he_ is! Hey, really nice to meet you." Jasper extended his hand towards me, which I shook instantly.

I smiled, out of politeness. "You too. What do you do, then?" Small talk. Usually as dull as politics but it was a relatively good ice-breaker.

"I own a club here in Seattle. It's called Jazz," he replied.

I grinned. "Ah. Jasper, Jazz, I get it. Maybe I should come along one day?"

He laughed. "Yeah, that'd get me some more business. You mind stumbling out drunk?"

"Sorry, I don't do that shit." I took a flute of champagne off of a tray that was offered to me. "But I'll come sometime." I eyed Alice who now had her phone out texting someone. Who? Was she texting Bella? "I'm sure Alice will tell me where it is."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "Sure thing."

The small talk petered out then and I decided to bow out before this got awkward. "It was nice to meet you," I said politely, and then pointed behind me. "I have to go and… mingle."

Alice, who had looked up from her phone now, and Jasper both smiled and waved as I retreated. Well Jasper seemed nice at least, I hardly knew Alice but I felt a sudden gladness inside me that she had a nice man to look after her.

Well now what? I thought to myself, as I realised I was standing alone in the middle of the dance floor with a glass of champagne in my hand. I realised that ever since I'd met Alice, it was like the aching hole I had had since I'd left Bella had suddenly grew a million times bigger. Maybe I just needed a distraction to get rid of the hole?

"Edward!" called out a familiar, female voice from somewhere close behind me.

I turned around slowly, to face Megan. I had to admit that tonight she did look very pretty- not beautiful, but pretty. Her blonde hair was curled and up at the back, which complemented the ovular shape of her face well. She was wearing a short black dress and black high heeled shoes; which looked good with her tanned skin.

"Good party huh?" Megan had a flute of champagne in her right hand too, which she brought up very sexily to her ruby red lips and drank some; while giving off a very smouldering look- I had to admit that she had me in a trance by the small action. But, then again, she had already been named 'sexiest woman alive' by several magazines and any guy would respond in the same way when she pulled that 'sex-me-please' face. Bitch.

"Yeah, yeah not bad," I managed to regain myself and say.

She glanced over her shoulder. "There's not that many paps here either."

I grinned. "Makes a change."

"It's a bit hot and stuffy in here, fancy going outside?" Megan asked, while pointing to an open door. I didn't know whether she was trying to subtly say something else, or whether she honestly wanted to take our conversation outside. But I had nothing to lose by going outside with her, so why the heck not?

"Sure," I replied, as I followed her lead out of the room.

Megan had led us to a small balcony, though it was only a couple of feet off the ground. It was night, with only the moonlight giving out any light source, whitewashing everything like in those old films. It was the perfect romantic setting.

"It's quite romantic out here… I guess," whispered Megan, like she could hear my thoughts.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Already, I felt like I had made the wrong decision about following her out here. It almost felt like this was heading somewhere that I didn't want it to. Or did I? Megan was pretty… no, screw that, she was drop-dead gorgeous but that didn't mean that my heart thudded at the speed of light when I caught her looking at me. It didn't mean that I longed for her to move closer, that I wanted to feel the warmth of her body through our clothes. Neither did it mean that I felt anything for her, like so many people presumed.

"You seem really edgy tonight," Megan commented in a whisper. She moved over close to me, so close that our bodies were just inches away.

When I looked up at her, I saw that she was watching me with something in her eyes that could only be described as concern. I forced a smile on to my face. "Do I?"

She laughed slightly. "You can't trick _me_ that easily. You're a good actor… but you're not _that_ good."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't respond, just moving over to the rail of the balcony and looking out over the massive lake in the grounds.

Megan sidled closer, touching her arm against mine. "You want to talk? Is it girl problems? I read about you and Tanya Denali."

I scowled. "I'm not dating Tanya Denali. And, no, I'm not fucking her either."

Megan snorted. "Yeah. Tabloids, huh?" She sighed and looked over at the lake too. "_Is_ it a girl?"

"Sort of," I said truthfully. "From a long, long time ago."

"Do I know her?"

I laughed bitterly. "No. I haven't seen her in years." I tipped my champagne over the edge of the balcony – I wasn't in the mood for celebrating – and rested the glass on the flat-topped rail. "I… I left her to go to England."

"Like Lyssa and Rob?" Meg asked quietly.

"Just without the happily ever after," I said. "We… didn't part on good terms."

"Call her?" Megan suggested. "I mean… look at you. You're the most freaking famous man on the planet; can't you do anything you want?"

I looked at her. And when I did that I realised that telling her was a huge mistake. Megan wouldn't understand; why would she? She _liked_ the fame. She liked the fact that her name got her in any guy's bed, her cash got her everything she could possibly want- how could she comprehend that I hated it? I shook my head. "Forget it."

Megan must have heard the finality in my tone because she didn't press any further. She sipped at her champagne and I was silent, listening to the wind rustling the leaves in the trees, blowing over the water.

After a long moment's silence, Megan shivered. Automatically, I reached out and slipped an arm around her shoulders. "It's freezing," I muttered, looking her up and down, noting the bare skin. "You're crazy."

She laughed. "I know, right? Maybe I should have worn my nun costume?"

"Nah. You look gorgeous tonight," I complimented.

Her eyes shone. "Really?"

I snorted. "Meg, face it, you _always_ look gorgeous."

"So do you," she whispered, and then she pressed herself closer and I realised that she had heard something in my words that I had never intended to be there. And I could tell what was going to happen now. But I couldn't find it in myself to stop her. Partly because I was just too tired to bother, but partly because I wanted it too; I wanted my distraction from the constant ache.

She twisted in my arms so that she was facing me and ran her fingers up my arm and across my shoulder. She cupped my chin in her hand. "Kiss me?" she breathed.

I stared for ages into her deep blue eyes. They were pretty… okay they were amazing; but a part of me longed for them to be chocolate brown and endless.

But they weren't. And they never would be. And I had to get over myself and move the fuck on. So I shut my eyes and kissed her. My lips touched hers for the briefest second, but then I ended it when it had barely started. Megan didn't notice. Her hand moved from cupping my chin to cupping the back of my neck and her big, full lips slammed instantly against mine, pushing deeply and intensely. I had no time to think whatsoever. Suddenly her hands were finding my body, my chest, my face and finally my hair- where she left them. I tried to kiss back, I wanted to feel _something_, anything; I wanted to _forget_ about Bella and how many times I'd pictured doing this with _her_. But I couldn't, I couldn't help but feel that all of this was so wrong and I couldn't forget Bella. No. A distraction would never be enough.

So I pulled away from a startled Megan for the second time and mumbled a shitty apology, and then I just ran. I ran through the double doors into the main room of the hotel. When I was there I slowed down a bit, to avoid drawing attention to myself. I tried to speed up when I was nearer the exit, but then I felt a tiny hand grab me from behind.

"In a hurry?" A girl laughed from behind me.

"Alice?" I turned around to face the pixie-like girl.

Alice pulled one eyebrow up at me. "Is something wrong Edward?"

"No… no everything's fine," I lied.

Alice didn't look convinced, so I sighed and caved almost instantly. "Do you want to go for coffee?"

She smiled and hooked her arm through mine. "I thought you'd never ask." Then she turned, waved at Jasper, and dragged me out of the door.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**I (we) am so sorry for the late update!!!!! Laura was on holiday and then we've been so busy that nothing just got written. But hopefully this chapter was good enough to make up for it lol**

**Okay, I know it didn't make up for it. Yeah, we all know who he should have been kissing instead of that Megan slut XD Don't worry she isn't really in it any more ;)**

**Um… I honestly have nothing to say today (unusual) so I'll leave it at that :)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph (and Laura) :)**


	7. Jealousy Intended

**Previously…**

_So I pulled away from a startled Megan for the second time and mumbled a shitty apology, and then I just ran. I ran through the double doors into the main room of the hotel. When I was there I slowed down a bit, to avoid drawing attention to myself. I tried to speed up when I was nearer the exit, but then I felt a tiny hand grab me from behind._

"_In a hurry?" A girl laughed from behind me._

"_Alice?" I turned around to face the pixie-like girl._

_Alice pulled one eyebrow up at me. "Is something wrong Edward?"_

"_No… no everything's fine," I lied._

_Alice didn't look convinced, so I sighed and caved almost instantly. "Do you want to go for coffee?"_

_She smiled and hooked her arm through mine. "I thought you'd never ask." Then she turned, waved at Jasper, and dragged me out of the door._

********

_So you sailed away into a grey sky morning_

_Now I'm here to stay; love can be so boring_

_Nothing's quite the same now; I just see your name now_

_But it's not so bad; you're only the best I ever had_

_You don't want me back; you're just the best I ever had_

_**-Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning), Vertical Horizon**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 7- Jealousy Intended**

**Bella POV**

I got home to find my house phone ringing, the noise sounded odd as no one ever rang my house phone, they always rang my mobile; mainly because it was only ever Alice who did ring me.

"Hello?" I answered as I leapt onto my desk to grab the phone, which was under numerous scrap pieces of paper.

"Bella!" answered a familiar voice.

"Jake?" I groaned internally. "How did you get my house number?" I was sure I'd never given him it before.

"Er.. I kind of looked you up in the phone book, sorry." I supposed that some girls might find that very romantic but I had to admit that I found it kind of stalker-ish- but it was Jacob I guess.

"Oh," I replied.

"So, how are you?" he asked, I could tell he was just making small talk.

"I'm… fine," I lied.

"Good. Hey I was wondering if you're free tomorrow night, maybe?" You didn't need to be a rocket scientist to work out that that was coming.

I was about to reply with some made up excuse, when the events of tonight occurred to me. Was I stupid for being like this with Edward? What about if I had gone in tonight? He'd probably have completely forgotten who the heck I was and blanked me. I knew how much that would break my heart and probably never heal me to have a proper relationship again. Why would I risk that? Jake, was sweet and caring and I was Bella Swan, who always went for the safe option. Why break an old habit?

"I am actually Jake." A smile appeared on my face, though I could feel it was forced- saying yes to Jacob was also forced, but I knew in the long term it would be the best option. And it was only one date right?

"Great!" Jake seemed way too happy about this news, but surely that was a good sign? "Umm, there's this great little Italian restaurant in town- they do the best Pizza's, you wana go? That's if you like Italian of course if not then I-"

"No, Italians great Jake," I cut his blabbering off.

"Good, really good actually. Shall we say about seven-ish? I can pick you up if you want?" See Bella, that is him being sweet, which is what you need in a guy. Not some guy who ditches you for a blonde and runs away to England to never speak to you again!

"Um… it's okay, I'll meet you there. But seven's great, thanks," I tried to reply sweetly. I wasn't sure about him picking me up; what if I wanted to get away? If I drove myself, at least for the first date, then I could always make a quick getaway. It was nice of him to offer though.

"Awesome! Well… I'll leave you to do whatever you're doing, Bye Bells!" Pfft, leaving me to go mope in my bedroom with a hot chocolate… great.

"Cool. Bye Jacob." I put the phone down and let out a long sigh. Was that really the right decision to make? Well I guess there was no going back now. Like I'd ever have a hope in hell with Edward anyway.

I decided there was only one person, who could make me feel better about this whole situation and maybe even get me excited by it; and that was Alice.

I grabbed my mobile and hoped this time Alice would pick up; surely she was out of the club by now? But what would I know? I was hardly the one for clubbing that much, unless forced by Al. "What now Bella?" she snapped the moment she answered.

"Um… Jacob called," I said slowly. "He… asked me out – again – and I… I said yes."

"You said yes?!" She sounded shocked.

I bit my lip. "Yeah," I said slowly. "I mean… I like him so… why not?"

"What happened to what you said the other day? That Jacob was annoying and his persistence was never going to pay off?"

I snorted. What had happened? I had realised that pining after a Hollywood star who was far too good for me was a waste of time, so I was going to settle for the fairly hot guy who seemed very into me. That was what had happened. "I just… thought I should give him a chance," I told Alice. I guess I thought that too. It just… wasn't the deciding factor.

"Go for it," Alice said. "You deserve a guy, Bells. And he sounds nice enough, if not perfect. I'll come round and dress you up all pretty."

I groaned. "Do you have to torture me?"

She laughed. "Yes, though I don't think that 'torture' is the right word. Why did you say yes anyway?"

"I told you. He deserved a chance. And…" I blushed and decided I should just admit to it. "I felt like a bit of a failure and I thought that Jacob could cheer me up; he usually can." I took a deep breath. "I came to E… Edward Cullen's party but they wouldn't let me in." I ignored the way his name stuck in my throat.

"You did what?! Why didn't you call me? I could have come and let you in!"

"But the guy on the door said that you already had a plus-one!" I replied.

I could almost see Alice's eye-roll as she said, "No, I'm sure Edward would have let me have two plus-ones, wouldn't you Edward?"

I froze and felt my blood turn to ice. "Edward's there?" I rasped.

"Yes, he's here," she answered, a hint of humour in her voice. She probably thought that I was star-struck. "Wanna talk to him?"

"No, no, I'm good… Are you still at the party then?" I played with my nail nervously now that I knew that she was with Edward and she had just said my name. I wondered if he was paying any attention to her or whether he was too busy undressing Megan Thing with his eyes. His gorgeous, green eyes…

Alice's answer brought me back down to earth. "No, we're at coffee. Hey, you wanna come?"

I blanched. Did I? If she had asked me when I had been stood outside Edward's party trying to get in, then it would have been an unequivocal yes. But now that I had accepted Jacob… I couldn't face the thought of having coffee with Alice and Edward. That would be awkward whether Edward remembered me or not. "No," I refused. "Nah, it's okay. I… I wanna get some sleep."

"Okay, yeah, I understand," Alice sighed. "Look, Bells, I should go. Edward has to tell me something." I heard someone – him – mumble something in the background and my heart picked up. "I'll get it out of you one way or another," she threatened him. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella, okay?"

"Sure. Um… have fun." I hesitated a moment and then added, "Say hi from me."

"Yeah, bye." And then she hung up.

I sighed and chucked my phone at my desk, running my hand through my hair. I wondered whether Edward knew that Alice was talking to me. Whether he cared. Whether he thought about me as often as I thought about him.

And I wondered what it was Alice was going to 'get out of him'. I wondered what the famous Edward Cullen could possibly have to hide.

**Edward POV**

"Won't your boyfriend be jealous if you walk off with another man?" I asked Alice as we walked down the road to the nearest coffee shop after leaving the party.

She laughed. "He's not my boyfriend. And jealousy was totally intended."

"Oh." I decided not to ask.

"Eddie, you have so much to learn about girls," she told me. "If I make him jealous then I know that he likes me and then I am free to make the first move. Capiche?"

I looked blankly at her. "You mean you plan these things?"

"Of course," she said brightly. "One side has to do the planning otherwise no one would ever get together. If Eve hadn't burnt her and Adam's clothes to appeal to a certain part of him, then none of us would be here would we?"

"Uh… I hadn't heard that one before."

"Oh, it's a well-known fact that Eve had the body of a goddess and the face of a sea-dwelling creature so she had to use her body to 'woo' him. But that's not why we're coming to coffee, is it? What's up Eddie boy?"

I chose not to comment on the nickname that I hated. "Nothing."

"Yeah, right," Alice said sarcastically. "You need to talk it out. You know, give away some of the weight and the problem will be easier to hold."

We went into the shop then, thankfully meaning that I didn't have to say anything else. As Alice ordered the coffees I hoped – perhaps in vain – that she would forget about my 'problem'. There was no way in hell that I was going to tell her that I was in love with her best friend.

"Right," Alice said the moment we sat down at the table in the corner. "Spill."

"I have nothing to spill," I denied.

"You so do. It's about a girl, I can tell."

"And what makes you think that?" I carefully kept my voice casual.

Alice sighed, put her coffee down and then started to list the reasons on her fingers. "One- you've dressed up nicely which means that you were hoping to bump into her."

"Um… Al, we just came from a posh party. Canapés and everything," I reminded her.

"It's more than that. You're wearing posh aftershave. Besides, that's only reason number one." She cleared her throat. "Two. All evening that I saw you, you've been looking over your shoulder and on edge- looking for this girl. Three. You have that heartbroken look in your eyes- the disappointed one so something tells me that you haven't seen this girl. Four. You keep wringing your hands together and sighing wistfully. The only guys that do that are those that bat for the other team, so to speak, or the ones that are hopelessly in love. And since I know for a fact that you are not gay, it leaves me with one option." She blew out a large exhale and then smiled. "So who's the lucky gal?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You're wrong and I wouldn't tell you anyway."

"I'm always right and why wouldn't you?"

Because said girl is your best friend, maybe? "Because…" But I couldn't come up with an appropriate response.

Thankfully, I was saved by her phone ringing. Alice sighed and answered it. "What now Bella?" she said impatiently.

I stared at her as my heart beat so hard against my rib-cage I swear it bruised it. I wished so badly that I could hear what she was telling Alice.

Alice's eyes widened. "You said yes?!" She paused, listening to Bella's response. "What happened to what you said the other day? That Jacob was annoying and his persistence was never going to pay off?"

I took a long gulp of coffee as I listened intently; who was Jacob? And why did I feel so insanely jealous of him?

"Go for it," Alice said next. "You deserve a guy, Bells. And he sounds nice enough, if not perfect. I'll come round and dress you up all pretty." She paused and then laughed. "Yes, though I don't think that 'torture' is the right word. Why did you say yes anyway?" Alice shot a glance at me then and mouthed 'sorry'.

I shook my head, telling her not to worry about it.

There was a very long pause, longer than any of the others. Then Alice's expression became one of disbelief. "You did what?! Why didn't you call me? I could have come and let you in!" She paused. "No, I'm sure Edward would have let me have two plus-ones, wouldn't you Edward?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes, before nodding.

"Yes, he's here," Alice answered Bella's question. She winked at me as she said, "Wanna speak to him?" I tried not to wince. I wondered what Bella was thinking. Wondered if she remembered me.

"No, we're at coffee. Hey, you wanna come?"

I instantly sat up straighter, straining to hear the answer. It didn't work.

"Okay, yeah, I understand," Alice sighed. "Look, Bells, I should go. Edward has to tell me something."

"No I don't," I disagreed.

"I'll get it out of you one way or another," she threatened me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella, okay?" She paused. "Yeah, bye." She hung up and said to me, "Bella says hi."

I felt my heart leap into my throat. "Did she say anything else?" The question was out before I could stop it.

That caught Alice's attention. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Like what?"

I shrugged. "Like run away from Alice or something?"

Alice saw through my pathetic attempt of trying to joke it off. "There's something you're not telling me."

I snorted. "Yeah, right."

"For such a great actor, you're a crap liar, Edward," she said critically.

"That's the second time this evening I've heard that," I sighed.

Alice smirked. "So you admit it?"

"What?" Shit. I had just dropped myself in it. "No, I…"

She cut me off. "Save it." Then she fell into a speculative silence for a moment.

I tried to change the subject. "How's your friend?"

"She's good," Alice replied, momentarily distracted- thank God. "Some guy at her work keeps asking her out and she's finally said yes. I've never met him so I don't really know if he's right for her, but I'm sure he's nice and all."

"What does she do?" I asked, trying not to show how much I wanted to know.

"She's an English teacher at the local high school. Very passionate about it, too," Alice said. "She writes, too, but she won't let anyone read it. Well, she let me read some once a long time ago, but… it's very private. It's ever so good, Bella's writing. I think she should publish her stuff sometime."

I nodded in agreement, remembering some of the stories Bella had written when we were at school. She had had promise even back then. I noticed Alice's confused look at my nod and instantly tried to pass it off as a polite nod. "I'm sure she's very good," I bluffed.

Alice took a sip of her coffee. "Yeah. She tried to come along earlier, you know. I invited her first but she said no, so I brought Jasper instead. But she just told me that she turned up a little bit after me but the bouncer turned her away. I told her she should… what?"

I was staring at her, my eyes wide. Bella had tried to come to the party? Had she known that I'd be there? Had she wanted to see me? And I had been too busy trying to find my distraction to go and see her. Stupid bouncers; why hadn't they come to find me?! I should have given them a photo and told them to escort her straight to me! I knew I should have…

"What, Edward?" Alice repeated, bringing me back to Earth.

I leant intensely across the table. "Did you tell her it was my party?"

Alice blinked. "Of course. That's the appeal isn't it?"

I let that sink in as I stared blankly at the table. Bella had come to my party. My Bella. My honey B.

Suddenly Alice's hand came and hit the back of my head. "Hey!" she said loudly. "I was talking to you!"

"What?" I looked up at her, trying to focus.

"Why have you gone all retarded? What's going on? Why do my friends matter to you so much?"

I balled my hands into fists. "Bella came to my party," I said quietly.

"So?!" Alice wailed. She narrowed her eyes again. "What is with you two? She's all desperately trying to avoid you and you go gaga when I mention that she tried to…" she trailed off then and gaped at me. "Holy hell!"

"What?"

She looked around, checking that no one was listening, and then shuffled closer. "Every time I've met Bella's Dad, he's mentioned a friend of hers, always asks if she made up with him yet. His name was Edward. You know each other, don't you?"

How in hells name did she make that connection so fast? Um… dude, it's because you acted like a retard when she said Bella's name. I did not! Yeah, you totally did. Stop it. I'm not having a conversation with myself. It's weird.

"Don't you?" Alice growled and her anger was scary.

I sighed. "Yes. She hates me, though." I knocked back the last of my coffee. "Look, I chose to leave her and we parted on bad terms." I shrugged. "No big deal. These things happen."

"Why did she not tell me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because she hates me?"

Alice eyed me cautiously. "You don't hate her."

"She didn't bugger off to some foreign country to live a better life, consequently abandoning me. She didn't trick me into making some crappy photo album. She didn't hurt me like I hurt her." I pushed my empty mug away, hating the guilt I felt eating me out. "I don't want to talk about it."

Alice was silent for a moment and then she said, "You know, Bella bugged me no end to go with her to the premier of your first film." She snorted. "I thought she fancied you."

I shook my head, an ironic smile playing at my lips. "Nah. Bella? Nah."

Alice leant across the table. "Edward," she said, "I am going to set you two up. I am going to get you back together," she vowed. "And you are going to like it."

I glared at her. "No," I said. "Don't tell her anything."

Alice pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Okay," she said slowly.

"I mean it," I growled. I tossed back the last bit of coffee. "I better go."

"Okay," Alice said brightly as I stood up. "Hey, Edward?"

"What?"

"Do you want to go out with me on Monday night?" she offered.

I scratched the back of my head. "I don't know, Al…"

"Come on, please?" she begged. "I thought you wanted to go to Jazz?"

I rolled my eyes as she quoted my earlier words. "Fine. I'll come. But…"

"But?"

"Only if you don't say anything to Bella. About… any of this."

She crossed her heart dramatically with her index finger. "Wouldn't dream of it."

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**So… Alice knows :D**

**Eek… so sorry about the non-updating thing :S Laura's internet has been broken for aaagges and we've been pretty darned busy :L But hopefully this chapter halfway makes up for it? And the promise that there will be a face-to-face Bella and Edward interaction pretty soon ;)**

**Now… I know I'm really not in any position to ask favours, but I am running some more awards at my awards site (twilightallhumanawards(DOT)webs(DOT)com) and would love some nominations! If you've read a story that you really liked and (whether it's majorly popular or not) think it needs more recognition then go to the site (link above and on my profile) and nominate it for an award :D There are more details on there. Also, if you write stories, it'd be great if you could mention the awards in a short A/N or something- just to get more people out there nominating :D Thanks so much guys!**

**That's pretty much all for now :)**

**Please review!!!**

**Thank you :)**

**Steph (and Laura!)**


	8. Coincidences and Courtesy

**Previously…**

"_Do you want to go out with me on Monday night?" she offered._

_I scratched the back of my head. "I don't know, Al…"_

"_Come on, please?" she begged. "I thought you wanted to go to Jazz?"_

_I rolled my eyes as she quoted my earlier words. "Fine. I'll come. But…"_

"_But?"_

"_Only if you don't say anything to Bella. About… any of this."_

_She crossed her heart dramatically with her index finger. "Wouldn't dream of it."_

**~PTP~**

_This is our way, this is our life_

_Just one chance to make it right_

_This is our dream, and all I see_

_Is a place for you and me_

_If you need somebody, I'm somebody_

_For you to hold on tight_

_This is our life, but we're just worlds apart_

_**-Worlds Apart, Twenty Twenty**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 8- Coincidences and Courtesy**

**Bella POV**

The next morning, I logged on to my computer as soon as I woke up. I was surprised to find that this 'E' guy had added me to his IM list. But I accepted. I'm not sure _why_ I accepted since it was a little hypocritical of me to speak to strangers when I spent so long lecturing my teenage students about _not_ doing just that. But there was something about this 'E'. It could have just been because he had complimented my writing but… I kind of felt like… like I could trust him.

All the same, I changed my name to 'Passionate_Writer' so that my real name wasn't showing. If he wasn't going to share, then neither was I.

I opened up my IM application and was surprised to find that he was online. I glanced at the clock in the desktop, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that I didn't have to be at Alice's for another three hours. Then, I nervously double-clicked on his name, opening a new conversation. With shaking fingers, I typed in the box and my message popped up on the screen.

_Passionate_Writer: Um… hi. Thanks for your comments- they really mean a lot_

I bit my thumbnail. Now that it was sent, it sounded corny and weird. But he replied almost instantly.

_Just_Another_Guy: You're welcome. You have a real talent :)_

I smiled widely and typed my reply.

_Passionate_Writer: You're making me blush_

_Just_Another_Guy: You shouldn't be embarrassed. If you're embarrassed then you clearly don't hear that enough_

_Passionate_Writer: I'm not embarrassed_

And I wasn't.

_Just_Another_Guy: No? Well then why are you blushing? ;)_

_Passionate_Writer: I blush when I'm complimented. I'm not great at receiving compliments. My friend says I'm 'too shy for compliments but not shy enough for criticism'_

_Just_Another_Guy: Lol. I'm the same._

_Just_Another_Guy: Has your friend seen your writing?_

_Passionate_Writer: She's seen bits. I… don't really share it. It's sort of private._

_Just_Another_Guy: You shouldn't hide that from the world. Just think, if everyone hid their talents then the world would be devoid of awesomeness._

_Passionate_Writer: Yeah, but it would also be devoid of those annoying talentless people who think they have what it takes to 'make it big'_

_Just_Another_Guy: :L There are too many of those_

_Just_Another_Guy: you, however, are not one of them_

I didn't know what to say in reply to that. I couldn't say thanks again or we'd just go round in circles. I thought for a moment, and then typed in a question.

_Passionate_Writer: Thanks :) Do you write?_

_Just_Another_Guy: Me? No! Lol no fear. I'm awful. My friend used to write though. When I knew her. She was very good._

_Passionate_Writer: When you knew her?_

_Just_Another_Guy: We fell out. Lost contact when I went away to college._

_Passionate_Writer: I know how you feel. My best friend moved abroad to college; I haven't heard from him since._

_Just_Another_Guy: Why didn't you call him?_

_Passionate_Writer: I broke my phone and lost his number. And I was too stubborn to ask his family; too mad at him. You know what it's like when you're 18._

_Just_Another_Guy: Yeah_

_Passionate_Writer: Why didn't you call her?_

_Just_Another_Guy: She barred my calls. She was pretty pissed :(_

_Passionate_Writer: Well, I'm sure she doesn't deserve to be friends with you if she doesn't give second chances :)_

_Just_Another_Guy: They do say that there's nothing like a woman scorned… I don't blame her. She deserves the world and more._

That was so sweet. I decided to inject some humour. Or, at least, a pathetic attempt at humour.

_Passionate_Writer: Are you always this smooth with women? ;)_

_Just_Another_Guy: lol. I don't really know what u mean ;)_

_Passionate_Writer: Maybe you should change your penname?_

_Just_Another_Guy: I don't know if 'Naively_Smooooooooooooth' would suit me :S_

I laughed out loud.

_Passionate_Writer: LOL_

_Just_Another_Guy: Bada bing bada boom ;)_

I smiled, and opened his profile in a new tab, deciding to see if I could find out more about him. I blinked when I read that he was in Washington.

_Passionate_Writer: Washington, huh?_

_Just_Another_Guy: Yup. It's pretty wet._

_Passionate_Writer: I know. I'm in Washington too :L_

_Just_Another_Guy: Wow. What a strange coincidence._

Suddenly my phone started ringing. I glanced at the caller ID and saw it was Alice. Knowing that she'd give me grief if I didn't answer, I sighed and turned back to the computer.

_Passionate_Writer: Be right back- phone's ringing._

"Hey Al," I answered my phone.

"Bella!" she trilled. "How are you?" I started to answer but she beat me to the punch. "You're good; that's brilliant! Okay, you are going to come round my house this afternoon at… four-thirty so that I can doll you up for your date! Oh, and on Monday you're coming to _Jazz_ with me."

I paused, waiting for my mile-a-minute friend to add something else. When she didn't, I said, "Firstly, I wasn't going to say 'good', I was going to have a go at you from taking me away from…" I stopped then. I didn't really want to tell Alice about _Just_Another_Guy._ It seemed almost too… personal. Which was ridiculous because how could some stranger be personal? "…what I was doing," I said instead before swiftly continuing, "Second, is four-thirty really necessary? I don't have to be there 'til seven. And third… not on your life. We went there the other day and I have to work Tuesday _and_ I don't want to feel like a third wheel while you chat Jasper up."

Alice took a deep breath. "Don't worry about the third wheel thing; I have a feeling that there'll be a nice guy there for you to talk to."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Alice. If tonight goes well then I won't be single, will I? So stop trying to set me up!"

"I didn't say you had to date him, just talk to him."

I put on my best strict voice. "Alice…"

"Fine, fine," she conceded. "We'll talk about it later."

"Ugh."

"_Anyway_, yes four-thirty is necessary. Then you can tell me all about whatever I interrupted you from; and don't say you were washing your hair because I can tell that you were doing something actually interesting."

"How do you do that?" I demanded.

"Do what?"

"How did you know that I was going to give you the hair excuse?"

Alice laughed. "That is for me to know and you to never find out. I'll let you get back to whatever it was. See you at three; and I expect details, Bella!"

I groaned exasperatedly. "Alice, I'm on my computer, not snogging someone's face off!" But she had gone before I had even started speaking.

I pressed the little red button and threw my phone down on my bed before turning back to the computer and typing a new message.

_Passionate_Writer: Sorry about that_

But then I looked up at the screen and noticed that he had signed out. Without even saying goodbye. Huh.

I glanced at the clock and decided that I might as well do something constructive in the next few hours before I had to leave for Alice's. So I grabbed my shampoo and went to turn my excuse into reality.

**~PTP~**

I looked doubtfully at the blouse Alice held up. "Pink? I'm not sure that's my colour, Al…"

"Nonsense," Alice said. She pushed it firmly into my hands. "Put it on." She turned round and started going through her drawers, looking for the perfect pink make-up. I wondered why she was going with a pink theme, when she had always said that I looked best in blue. "Bella is blue" had been her saying since we had met.

I sighed and looked at the blouse in my hands. I didn't fail to notice the plunging V-neck. "Alice, the neck's kind of low…" I started.

She cut me off with that 'look'. "Bella. You have to play up the eyes. If you want a second date then you have to do these things." She turned back round and mumbled something to herself then as she started through her drawers again.

With yet _another_ sigh, I went into her room and changed into the pink top and black skinny jeans before going out to endure the makeover.

Alice wolf-whistled when I came out. "Bella, you look superb, girl," she said in a bad Southern accent. Then she frowned slightly. "Perhaps a little too good."

"Why too good?" I asked, confused.

"Nothing!" she sang innocently, not meeting my eyes.

_Oh God, what was she up to now? _I pursed my lips and sat in Alice's makeover chair. "Let's get this over with then."

She rolled her eyes at my reluctance but got to work all the same. "So what were you doing earlier?"

"I was just on my computer," I said truthfully.

"Doing what?"

I hesitated. "Um… talking to… someone."

Alice's hand froze in surprise. She looked at me with a furrowed brow. "Talking to someone? Who?"

"I posted some of my writing online and someone read it and I spoke to them," I explained, shrugging to make it sound like less than it was. "No big deal."

Alice smiled and went back to doing my make-up. "You know, I was talking to Edward about your writing last night." There was something in her tone, like she was waiting for a reaction.

I didn't disappoint. I pulled my head back in confusion, causing her to smear foundation all over my lips, and then sigh at me.

"What?!" I shrieked. "Why?!"

Alice's dainty eyebrows shot up and I could see in her eyes that she expected this reaction. "After you called, we talked about you." She shrugged and grabbed a make-up wipe to get rid of the smeared foundation.

I held still this time, but I had to ask; I couldn't help it. "What did he say about me?"

Alice smirked slightly. "Not much. He was… disappointed that you didn't call and try to get in. He wanted to meet you."

"Oh," was all I could say. I tried not to let on how much it hurt to hear that. He wanted to meet me. He didn't remember me. I wondered if he'd remember if he saw me. I wasn't too keen to find out.

I shut my eyes then, stopping any conversation Alice and I would have had about Edward. She asked me stuff about my morning, and told me about Edward Cullen's party. She told me how he had promised to come to _Jazz_ and how she was excited about the business that Jasper would get because of his visit.

I listened for the hour and a half that she did my make-up for, but half-heartedly, and I was relieved when she announced that she was finished. I looked in the mirror and was astounded again at how amazing Alice was at doing this. "Thanks, Al," I said with a smile. "You're a miracle worker to get something so good out of someone so awful."

Alice glared at me and opened her mouth to argue, but she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Her glare fell off her face and was replaced with a huge smile. "I better get that."

I nodded, and sat down again, swivelling the chair around checking the clock. I had to go soon. I suddenly got the first-date butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

"Hi!" I heard Alice sing merrily from the front door.

I heard a deeper – and obviously male – voice reply, and I wondered if it was Jasper; that would explain the huge smile. I rolled my eyes and settled in to wait. But then I heard Alice's light footsteps go upstairs and she called back down, "You can wait in the living room!"

I continued to swivel around in the chair as I waited for Jasper to come in. "Hey Jazz," I said brightly when I heard the door open, but when I spun the chair so that I was fully facing the door, my eyes met a pair that were a brilliant emerald green. And this shade of green was far too familiar.

Edward fucking Cullen.

**Edward POV**

I decided to go and grab a coffee, while I waited for '_Passionate_Writer' _to reply. I didn't know why, but I was actually quite enjoying myself speaking to her; she was someone who treated me as though I were _normal. _Someone who knew nothing about me, who didn't know I was a famous movie star; it just felt good to have a normal, carefree conversation again. It reminded me of the times when I had spoken to Bella- whenever I had been with her, the words had just tumbled out of my mouth without any thought; it was natural. Then _I_ ruined that. But was this my chance now, to make it up to her again? To finally see those mesmerising chocolate eyes again?

I quickly shook the thought out of my head. I may have found a way to contact or speak to Bella again, through Alice, but was I ready? I doubted that Bella would even remember me… Not that she'd want to see me. If she did, she would be fuming; I would never be able to say sorry to her enough.

Throughout my daydream, I had absentmindedly put the kettle on, and the loud sound of its whistle brought me back to the _real_ world. I let out a quick sigh, before pouring the hot water into my mug, then stirring the mixture around.

I thought I heard my laptop 'bleep', telling me that I had a new PM message to read, stupidly forgetting I had my coffee in my hand, I quickly ran to my laptop; forgetting I was wearing slippery socks on my wooden kitchen floor and falling backwards, whacking my the back of my head on the floor.

"Shit!" I cussed, not because of my head; but because I had just split the entire contents of my coffee onto the suit jacket that I had been ordered (by Alice, of course) to wear tonight, which had been hung carelessly in the doorway.

I quickly jumped up, frantically trying to wipe the coffee stain off of my grey jacket, though it just got _worse_ and the stain seemed to sink deeper into the suit. I checked the kitchen clock to see that I still had a good few hours until I had to leave meaning that I could probably get the suit in and out of the washing machine in time. It would be a bit damp, but at least better then having a massive coffee stain on it. Eurgh, I was as clumsy as Bella!

I laughed a little at my joke as I ran to the washing machine, now trying to think of anything _but_ Bella. I looked on the little tag on the inside of the jacket to read the dreaded symbol, telling me it was _only_ hand washable! _Crap._

I sprinted to where my cell was on the kitchen side, watching my footing to not fall over _again_, and dialled the first number that came to my head. Alice.

"Edward?" she answered almost immediately, as though she'd been very close to the phone.

I let out a sigh of relief that she actually answered. "Alice, shit, I need help!" I shouted, feeling my breathing getting faster.

"Woah, Eddie, first _calm_ _it_. You're going to have a heart attack! Now, what's the problem?" Alice reassured me calmly, and it _did_ calm me… well a little.

"My jacket- coffee stain, only hand wash!" I splattered out the words as quickly as I could, grabbing onto the counter in front of me for support.

"You know who you're as clumsy as?" I thought I heard Alice mumble to herself. "Okay, not a problem; but you're going to need to come round," Alice said coolly.

"Okay, when? It needs to be soon though!" I begged, already worrying that we didn't have enough time.

"Err…" I could tell by Alice's voice that she was planning something but I had no idea what. "Well… I _have_ to wash my hair now Edward, but erm, about, say six-ish ?" Her voice got ever so light and higher at the end.

I quickly glanced at my clock. "Ahh… that'll have to do," I sighed. " I'll be round six, sharp; remember it starts at seven-thirty," I warned her.

"Yeah, yeah, Edward quit panicking. I've got a whole 2 new outfits for you here," Alice giggled. "Anyway, lots of… hair washing to do! I'll see you later! Bye!" she hung up, as fast as lightning.

I could tell that something was up with Alice, but didn't know what. Then again, it was Alice and even during this short period of time, I'd learnt that there was always something going on inside of that small head of hers- who knew what this time?

I walked back to my laptop, to see that there wasn't even a reply yet from '_Passionate_Writer' _and that my internet had seemed to turn itself off, so I'd signed out. Bloody great. I couldn't be bothered to sort it out, so walked back into the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge to calm me down.

God knew that I needed it.

**~PTP~**

Just as I pulled up outside of Alice's, my iPhone started to ring. I checked caller ID – to see that the caller had withheld their number – and then answered it with a reluctant sigh. "Hello?"

"Eddie!" she squealed and I gritted my teeth. Only one woman in the world had a voice as annoying as that.

"Tanya," I said evenly through my teeth. How the hell had she known that I would block the call if it was from her?

"Oh, Eddie, I haven't seen you in _ages_. How are you darling?"

"I'm good, thank you," I replied in a clipped voice. "How are you?" Yeah, I didn't want to answer it, but it was courteous and I had been brought up to be a gentleman- even to bitches that didn't deserve courtesy.

Tanya sighed, and I knew that she was about to go off on one of her rants. "Oh, God, Edward. It's been such hard work, Eddie, really. I don't know how you do this filming shazz. They're so _demanding_. They always want you to pull the right faces and say the right words. I mean, at one point in the movie my character's talking about their friend who has _aphasia_ and I hadn't heard of that word so I changed it to _aphrodisiac_. They completely freaked out; what the fuck is wrong with that?!"

I nearly hit my head on the steering wheel. "Aphasia is a disorder of the central nervous system that means that affects speech."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr He-Thinks-He-Knows-It-All."

"It's a serious disorder, Tanya. But an aphrodisiac… hell, even you know what that means."

"You're my aphrodisiac, Eddie," she purred down the phone.

I cringed. It was a good job that I had a good gag reflex. Then I sighed. "Look, did you have a reason for calling or did you just want to fail at getting me in your bed again?"

"Ah, you'll give in one day," she laughed carelessly. "And, surprisingly, yes I did have a reason."

"Which is?" I prompted.

"Well… I'm doing some promo work in Seattle and so I came to your house to surprise you…"

I cut her off. "You're at my house?!"

She cackled. "Sure am, sunshine. Not so much getting you in my bed as getting me in yours, huh?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and attempted to control my breathing. "Tanya, you're not getting in my bed. Or in my house."

She ignored me. "Where are you?"

"I have to go to a party."

Tanya brightened considerably. "Can I come?"

"No," I replied flatly.

"Well, can I stay in your apartment? I don't have anywhere else to go."

I sighed. "No, Tan. There are loads of hotels around here."

I could almost hear her pout. "Fine. I'll go and call Daddy and tell him how mean you're being… after everything he did for you… And when I'm done with that, I'll call the press and tell you about the little… _outburst_, shall we call it? That little 'outburst' you had a few years back. I'm sure you don't need me to remind you."

_God, she was such a bitch._

"Yeah, well you're a dick," she snapped.

_Shit, did I say that out loud?_

"Yes, you did!" Tanya answered my, supposedly, unspoken question. "I will repeat my question can I stay in your apartment?"

I reluctantly gave in. "Fine. You can stay. The spare key's with the lady behind the entrance desk. Password is 13091986." I hated giving Tanya my password. Her birthday.

"Thank you, Eddie," she cooed. "I'll be sure to mention it to my father."

"Whatever," I muttered, and then I hung up and turned my phone off.

I headed for the door and rang the doorbell before shifting my weight onto my right foot as I waited for Alice. She flung the door open with a huge, excited smile. "Hi!"

"Hey." I smiled slightly back. "You're a life saver, you know that?"

She laughed. "Yeah. The other suits are right upstairs. I'll go and get them."

I stepped inside the hallway and closed the door behind me.

"You can wait in the living room!" she called as she ran up the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, feeling that I'd be here for a while, and opened the door on my right. I stepped in and saw the person I was least expecting to see. I stared as she whirled around in her chair with a smile.

"Hey, Jazz," she said, and then she looked up at me and the smile fell off of her face.

You have got to be shitting me.

Bella fucking Swan.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hey guys! Another month, another chapter! Wow, we're churning them out in quick succession, aren't we? (heavy on the sarcasm there ;))**

**So sorry about the long updates. Revision has been keeping us busy recently… and other stories and other random stuff :L Well, Laura has this thing called a life. I have no idea what that is but we'll go with it ;)**

**But THEY HAVE MET!!!! And we are trying our very hardest to get the next chapter out within the next week. So we will not keep you in suspense for much longer!!!**

**I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Laura for changing so much and writing too much and taking so long and complaining so much… and you get the idea :L I'm probably hellish to write with :L**

**And also to thank you guys for your ongoing support through our crappy updating. I know how frustrating it is when you read WIPs and they update so infrequently that you forget what's happened. Thanks for staying with us :)**

**And, with that, I will finish with my usual:**

**Please review :)**

**Thanks**

**Steph (and Laura :))**


	9. Star Struck

**Previously…**

_I stepped inside the hallway and closed the door behind me._

"_You can wait in the living room!" she called as she ran up the stairs._

_I rolled my eyes, feeling that I'd be here for a while, and opened the door on my right. I stepped in and saw the person I was least expecting to see. I stared as she whirled around in her chair with a smile._

"_Hey, Jazz," she said, and then she looked up at me and the smile fell off of her face._

_You have got to be shitting me._

_Bella fucking Swan._

**~PTP~**

_I've been living with a shadow overhead_

_I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed_

_I've been lonely for so long_

_Trapped in the past; I just can't seem to move on_

_**-Way Back Into Love, Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett (from Music & Lyrics which, regrettably, we do not own any more than we own Twilight)**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 9- Star Struck**

**Edward POV**

Her beautiful brown eyes widened when she saw me. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I needed to pummel Alice into the ground but right at that moment, all I wanted to do was take Bella into my arms and kiss her and tell her how much I loved her and how much I regretted leaving her. I stepped forward hesitantly. "Bella, I…" I trailed off, not sure what to say.

Realisation seemed to set in her face then, and she stood up and grabbed her bag, marching toward the door.

I caught her arm before I knew what I was doing. "Bella, please…"

And then she turned like a shot and punched me in the face.

I stared at her in shock as I felt blood dribble down from my nose to my top lip. Then I felt hurt, and confused; why had she punched me? _Do I even need to answer that question you stupid fucker?_

Furious beyond speaking, Bella glared at my hand on her arm.

I knew what she wanted, but I didn't let her go. I couldn't let her go again.

So her hand came up again and she slapped my cheek. Hard. I can't say I blamed her.

"Get the _fuck_ off of my arm!" she hissed through gritted teeth. How much had I longed to hear her voice since I had last seen her? I felt my eyes sting; this wasn't how I'd pictured our reunion at all. I let go of her arm and she backed away from me. "_Never_ touch me _ever_ again." She was shaking with anger now and I wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was okay. But she turned away and stalked through the open door just as Alice came back down the stairs.

"I really don't like you right now," Bella said to Alice as she walked past her friend.

Alice shot me a bewildered glance and then followed Bella out into the hallway. I followed too, and eavesdropped from behind the door, out of sight. "Why?" Alice asked innocently.

"Oh, maybe because you _set me up_?" Bella replied icily. "How do you even know?" Then she sighed, obviously feeling guilty for snapping at Alice already. That was so… so _Bella_. "Forget it. I'm sorry. Thanks for the make-up. I'm going to see Jake now."

"I'm sorry," Alice said in a small voice.

"Never do that again. I mean it. I don't want to see his pathetic ass ever again. _Ever_."

"So why did you come to his party?" Alice asked.

Bella was stumped then. She was silent for a moment and then she whispered, "I don't know. Maybe because I'm a stupid, idiotic masochist? Please stop it, Al. I can't take anymore. I'm moving on, dating Jacob."

"Fine," Alice gave in, "but you and I are talking about this. I want to know why you lied to me for so long."

"You never asked," Bella rebutted. I heard her opening the door then, and slamming it behind her. Then she was gone.

I went back into the living room and let my head fall into my hands at the prospect of losing my Honey Bee again. And this time, I didn't just _think_ that she hated it; I _knew_.

"Edward?" Alice asked a moment later, when she joined me in the living room.

I looked up at her. "Are you _happy_ now?" I spat out bitterly.

Alice gasped. "Edward! Your nose…"

My brow furrowed in confusion and I reached up and touched my nose, feeling the blood stain my fingertip and the throb go through my face. Damn, I had forgotten about that. "Oh. It's no big deal."

"What the hell did she _do_ to you?" Alice asked, coming and sitting in front of me and examining my nose.

I sighed. "She hit me. I had it coming really. It was nothing I didn't deserve. Besides, I taught her how to punch like that. I told her to remember me when she was hitting a guy that hurt her. Irony's a right fucker, huh?"

Alice glared at me. "Firstly, I will not tolerate that language. Secondly, you did _not_ deserve that. However hurt Bella – or her pride – is, a lady can never justify punching someone. If you deserve so much pain then a woman should do something far more devious and subtle."

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, you are the epitome of the kind of woman guys are scared shitless of."

"Language!" she scolded. "And you know that guys like scary things." She smiled and winked at me to tell me that I was forgiven before getting up to grab a box of tissues for me to stem the flow of my nose bleed. A smile hovered around her lips and she shook her head slightly.

"What?" I asked. "I'm not finding anything funny about this."

"She really hit you, didn't she?" she snickered, dabbing at my face like my Mum had when I was little.

I rolled my eyes. "If Bella's the same as I remember, then she's very non-violent… until there are double-standards involved. Then she gets pretty damn pissed."

Alice laughed. "Nope. She hasn't changed."

"How do you know her?"

"We shared a dorm at college. And… well the rest, as they say, was history."

I smiled, glad that Bella had found a good friend. Glad that she hadn't been wallowing for eight years, like I had. Well… half glad, and half gutted that she could get over me so fast.

"How do you know her?"

I shrugged. "Our Mums were friends. We lived next door. We went to school together. It was kind of inevitable that we'd be best friends."

"But you love her," Alice said. It wasn't a question.

I sighed. "I did."

"And now?"

"Now… now, I know that she deserves better. That I was a prick to her and she'd be completely justified in never talking to me again. Now I know that I can never be with her. Even if she forgave me, I could never forgive myself if I dragged her into this life. This life where everyone pounces on you. Where anyone would sell your soul for a little cash. If the press got hold of her… and the _fans_…" I trailed off, biting my lip. "They do some scary shit as it is."

Alice smiled slightly. "I didn't ask if you think you can be with her. I asked if you love her."

I smiled back at her. "How do you know when you love someone?"

"You just know."

I thought about that for a moment, and then I nodded slowly. "I don't think you can stop loving someone can you?"

Alice laughed. "I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking eventually."

"What do you mean by that?"

But she just winked at me. "You'll see." Then she turned to the suits she had brought down from upstairs. She gestured to the three of them. "Take your pick, Mr Cullen."

I rolled my eyes and pointed to the black one in the middle, deciding not to bother trying to decipher her blasé comment right now; I had a promo party to get to.

But however hard I tried to push both the pixie-like girl who acted more like an energiser bunny than a human and the beautiful girl I had thrown out like last week's trash out of my mind, there were still two niggling questions that my mind wanted answers to.

Who the fuck was _Jacob_ and why did I already want to string him up by the balls?

I vowed that, before it was too late, I would find out.

**Bella POV**

I was furious. No, I was beyond furious. I didn't know who I was more angry with. And I didn't have a lot of time to think about it either.

I furiously snatched my keys out of my black handbag and shoved one of them into the truck's door. With a loud slam, I shut the old, car door behind me as I got into the drivers seat.

I clenched my teeth and tried to calm myself as I drove to where Jacob and I were meeting. I tried to think of positive things, calming things; like how the sun made pretty patterns on the road floor or… or how gorgeous Edward had looked tonight… _No_, not that. He may have been sickeningly good looking with the famous messy, bronze hair, the heart-stopping emerald eyes and the perfect muscular body…but the sight of him still boiled the blood in my body. He'd left me. He'd broken me into a million pieces so that I was _beyond_ repair; and now he just spoke to me, like nothing had happened? Who did he think he was?

Far too soon, I was at the little Italian restaurant Jacob had directed me to the day before, and I was still just as angry. I looked at the clock in the dashboard to see that, thankfully, I had 15 minutes to spare after storming out of Alice's earlier then expected. That was good- it meant that I had time to calm myself down. I needed to focus on _Jake_ now, not… not Edward.

I leant back in my seat, causing the old chair to make an ear-piercing squeaky noise, and closed my eyes, while trying to concentrate on my breathing. It started to work straight away and I could feel my pulse start to decrease and my breathing get a lot slower. I could almost feel myself drifting into unconsciousness, but there was this nagging in the back of my brain, keeping me from doing it…

"Bella!" called out a familiar voice, with an annoying tapping to go along with it.

"Huh? What?" My eyes immediately burst open in fright, as I frantically looked around to see what, or _who, _had awoken me.

"Oh… Jake," I sighed and tried to smile, as I saw his face nearly touching the car window beside me.

"I'm so glad you got here early too! I was… well a little embarrassed." Jake dropped his head slightly, a small smile playing on his lips.

I smiled at the sweetness. "No, it's cool. I didn't realise how close I was to this place."

I tried to carefully straighten out my hair with my hands before grabbing my bag from beside me and getting out of my truck. I mentally cringed as the red car door behind gave out another ear-piercing squeak as I closed it.

Jacob pulled a big, cheesy, lopsided grin at me, before leading the way to the restaurant. The grin was cute, but nothing compared to the famous, crooked, heart-tugging grin that _he_ had always pulled… And to think, if I hadn't caused a riot and hadn't punched him, then I could have seen that grin again. I could have felt my stomach turn into a pitfall of butterflies and then have beautiful dreams of it that night… But no. This wasn't a fairytale and the reality was that he did deserve that hideous punch; it was nothing compared to the pain I'd felt when he'd left me.

"Bella?" Again Jake pulled me back to the present, and showed me that we had in fact walked into the restaurant and needed to follow the waiter to our seats; not just stand there daydreaming, as I was.

"Sorry," I quickly mumbled, blushing slightly.

"And here are your seats, I'll be over in a second to take your drink order," the monotone waiter mumbled, as he placed two menus on the table and walked back over to the entrance.

"Here." Jacob smiled, as he pulled out the chair closest to us out for me.

"Thank you." I smiled brightly back, while taking a seat; at least he was a gentleman.

"It's my pleasure," Jake replied, as he took the other seat in front of me.

An awkward silence grew as we both stared at our menus, I wasn't hungry at all anymore, but I couldn't tell Jake that.

Jake sighed while slamming his menu onto the table; afterwards he looked shocked at how hard he had slammed it. "Erm… so tell me about yourself Bella!"

"What do you want to know? You've asked me a lot at school," I pointed out, as I too put my menu on the table.

But then, "What drinks can I get you?" came the same monotone voice; was he really _that_ bored?

"Erm a glass of water for me please," I replied, trying to sound nice.

"And for me." Jake nodded at the waiter.

"Sure." The waiter slowly turned his back and slouched back over to where he was before.

"Not everything…" Jake rose his eyebrows at me.

It took me a while to remember what he was talking about. "Oh, well what haven't I told you then?"

"What… what was your childhood like?" Jake asked, sounding honestly interested.

"Oh." I shrugged my shoulders. "Good, I suppose."

"Here're your drinks." The waiter almost slammed down the two drinks in front of us.

"What about school? Friends?" Jake prodded, when the waiter had gone.

"I… I guess I was lonely," I admitted. "Except from one person…" Just thinking about him, made my heart ache, especially after I was so _close _to him earlier.

"One person?" Jake questioned.

"Yeah, he was… he was amazing. But he left. Then I found Alice, and surely I've told you about her? Yeah, well she's…" _A traitor? _"She's good," I mumbled.

Jake could obviously tell that we were nearing a subject that I didn't want to talk about, so he swiftly changed the subject. I couldn't help but love him just a little bit for that. "So, what do you wanna eat? Everything in here looks a little… erm… a little…"

I bit back a smile at his hesitation to insult the restaurant. "A little bit like cheap crap?" I helped him along.

He laughed in a care-free way, which was pretty contagious. It felt good and easy to laugh with him; it almost helped me to forget about earlier… almost. "Yeah," he replied after a moment. "Like that."

"You know what, I'm really not hungry; you fancy getting some fries or something?" It was easy to be honest with Jake now that the tension had been broken.

Jake smiled brightly back. "It's like you can read my mind!"

We both quickly stood up and headed towards the door, assuming that we didn't have to pay for water in this place. Or, at least, trying to get out before they charged us; you never knew with these places.

"Let's walk. I know this little fish and chips place, down the road." Jake pointed down the little road in front of us.

"Great, let's go!" I led the way, as the road's path was only big enough for one person at a time.

I could hear Jake's big, clumpy footsteps behind me. "Up here right?" I checked, realising that I had no idea where we were going.

"Yup!" He took my hand from behind and gripped it tightly. I felt a little uncomfortable but didn't move to drop his hand; the cobbles under our feet looked like they could kill me if I fell on them.

From far away I could hear a car coming from the top road, so I stopped and moved over to the side, so that it could get by. I felt Jake behind me do the same thing. I looked up to see a massive 4x4 black car heading down and I cussed in my head at the size of the thing. We were going to be squished.

Luckily it had just the right amount of room to get by, but all of a sudden it stopped when it was in front of me and Jake and the back window started rolling down. I could hear the catty nasal voice of a girl come floating out of the window. "Oh, for God's sake, just ask them! Stop being such a pussy or we'll be late! For our own bloody promo party…"

I wanted to run away – far away – when I saw the person behind the window in a gorgeous black tux.

"Erm," he coughed, while nervously running a hand through his beautiful hair.

The female beside him sighed.

Edward rolled his eyes slightly and then continued. "Look, do you know where we can find…" He ducked his head and read off of a slip of paper. "_The Willet Arms_? We're kind of lost and in a hurry?"

"Kind of?" the girl exclaimed, leaning forward with a pout all over her face. I instantly recognised her as his apparent 'new girlfriend', Megan, who was also dressed very smartly in a candy pink dress.

"Sure," Jacob luckily answered for me. "Go down the road for about a mileish and then turn right when you see…" His words turned into buzzing in my head.

I was incapable of speaking; my eyes wouldn't look away from the emerald pools which were now staring straight into mine. I had no idea what facial expression I was pulling and I could only hope that it wasn't stupid.

"Thanks." Megan fake smiled, but she looked anything but grateful. When Edward didn't respond, she hit his arm gently. "Hello? We were supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago!"

Edward nodded his head slightly. Just before the window rolled back up, I saw his lips move slightly to mouth 'sorry'.

I quickly blushed and looked away, not wanting to feel any emotion for this man in front of Jake. Hell, not wanting to feel any emotion for him ever.

"A bit star struck?" Jacob guessed wrong, when he saw the expression on my face as the car drove away.

"Er… yeah," I lied.

Jake just laughed. "Come on Bells, not far now!"

I let him squeeze past me and then I took one last glance over my shoulder. But the car had already gone and I felt my heart sink as I turned to trail after Jake. Not for the first time since I had run from Alice's, I found myself wondering if I had been a little harsh on Edward earlier.

After all, I had let him go once before.

I guessed that I just wasn't smart enough to learn from my mistakes.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Well howdy guys! Here's your wonderful weekly (erm… multiply that by three or four…) update!**

**Hopefully it was at least halfway worth the wait… though Bella was a bit of a bitch :L**

**Remember that voting's started over at the AH Awards so check that out if you want to :)**

**Erm… that's all I really have to say today :) Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, as usual and please keep it up? :D**

**Thanks**

**Steph (and Laura) :)**


	10. Mindless Drinking

**Previously…**

_Edward nodded his head slightly. Just before the window rolled back up, I saw his lips move slightly to mouth 'sorry'._

_I quickly blushed and looked away, not wanting to feel any emotion for this man in front of Jake. Hell, not wanting to feel any emotion for him ever._

"_A bit star struck?" Jacob guessed wrong, when he saw the expression on my face as the car drove away._

"_Er… yeah," I lied._

_Jake just laughed. "Come on Bells, not far now!"_

_I let him squeeze past me and then I took one last glance over my shoulder. But the car had already gone and I felt my heart sink as I turned to trail after Jake. Not for the first time since I had run from Alice's, I found myself wondering if I had been a little harsh on Edward earlier._

_After all, I had let him go once before._

_I guessed that I just wasn't smart enough to learn from my mistakes._

**~PTP~**

_You took me in and shook me up inside.  
You got the stuff, the stuff that drives me wild.  
You wanted headlines; you wanted bright lights;  
I was just your cheap and easy ride._

Now I'm losing, I'm losing, my mind yeah I'm losing.  
My mind is missing, presumed lost.  
Now I'm losing, I'm losing, my mind yeah I'm losing.  
Don't want you back no matter what.

_**-Goodtime Girl, Scouting for Girls**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 10 – Mindless Drinking**

**Edward POV**

Megan watched in disbelief as I downed my third shot of some tequila-based fruity drink. We had been here for about an hour now, but twenty minutes of that hour had been spent doing PR with the media outside the venue and then a further twenty talking to the main promoter of the movie, Rosalie Hale, who reminded us that it would premier in just a few weeks; the editing had been done practically alongside the movie so the crew were not far behind us in terms of getting the movie ready.

"Jeez, Edward, take it easy!" Megan exclaimed.

I shrugged, slamming my shot glass on the table. I was going to get smashed tonight and I didn't give a damn what anyone thought. For once I wasn't going to let myself be controlled by etiquette and pre-conceived notions of my perfection. My mother would probably be disappointed but, at the moment, I was too depressed to care.

Megan raised one perfectly plucked brow. "And you did know that I ordered the bottle of tequila for myself and some girlfriends, right?"

I shrugged again. I could drink a girls' drink if that's what I wanted to do. Plus, if I was too depressed to care about what my mother thought of my mindless drinking then why would I care about what I was using to do said mindless drinking?

My co-worker finally gave up on trying to get her drink back and ordered a new bottle and a few more shot glasses before giving me a mock salute and walking off, leaving me with just a "don't get too drunk Edward; if you stumble out of here drunk there are some people that are not going to be impressed. Plus, we have that barrage of interviews tomorrow night so don't go making a spectacle of yourself."

I mulled over her words, wondering why I had that feeling you get when you subconsciously know that you've double-booked but you can't for the life of you remember what the other thing was. I had a feeling that it was to do with Alice, but I couldn't remember what and I didn't want to because the second I started thinking about Alice, I inevitably thought about Bella. And when I thought about Bella, I thought about _him_.

I presumed that _he_ was _Jacob_. He had everything that I didn't. He had darker, tan skin compared to my bone-white, he looked like he had a six-pack made of iron, and he had huge dark eyes compared to my dull green ones. The biggest difference, though, was that he had the girl, and I had a bottle of some fruity kind of tequila-tasting crap.

If I had to choose one of the two, I knew which one I'd prefer to have right now. A clue? Well, it wouldn't have been the bloody drink. It tasted like soap, and fruit, and some kind of girly perfumy shit. But, that didn't stop me from sighing and pouring myself another shot.

Someone with the crappiest timing in the world came up and slapped me on the back just as I went to down the shot, and I started choking on the liquid that was flooding my breathing tube. Once I had recovered from my choking fit, I turned to have at the person that had caused it, and nearly passed out in surprise when I saw who it was.

"Emmett?" I stared at my muscled jackass of a friend. "What are you doing here?"

He smirked. "Surprising your ass- which is looking mighty fine if I do say so myself."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, man. We all know you don't roll that way."

He quirked a brow. "Oh really?"

"Emmett. I am talking to the guy who has been caught doing the dirty with three different girls by his parents- and not even on three different occasions!"

"Hey, man, that was back in senior year of high school! You can't bring that shit up now." Luckily, he was grinning so my comment had obviously not offended him in the least. Not that I was surprised. It was pretty hard to offend Emmett.

He reached over for the bottle of tequila and I braced myself for the rant I knew I would get for drinking a 'girly drink'. I wasn't wrong.

"Tequila?" Emmett's dark eyebrows shot up and were almost lost in his hairline. "Edward, you wanna tell me when you turned into a girl?"

I rolled my eyes. "It was there; I drunk it." Now that the novelty of Emmett being there had worn off, I felt my depression start to weave its way back in. "I'm getting smashed tonight."

"Fair enough if you want to get pissed, but if you're going to do it, why not do it in style?" Then he turned to the bartender and said, "Single malt whiskey, please, and keep it strong." After a very small pause, he added, "Actually, make that two."

The bartender nodded and gave us the drinks and then Emmett grinned at me. "Now _this_ is getting smashed like a man, Eddie-boy."

I groaned. "Any masculinity I just gained with this whisky just went right out of the window with you calling me that."

He laughed and clinked his glass against mine before bringing his to his lips. But just before the liquid slipped past his bottom lip, he froze, staring at something on the opposite side of the room. "Eddie… who… on earth is that?"

I looked over in the direction that he was as the whisky burnt my throat slightly, and realised who he was talking about. She was tall and blonde and absolutely gorgeous in a floor-length, ice-blue dress that, I knew, matched her eyes. "Oh. That's Rosalie Hale. She's in charge of all promotion-y stuff. I thought I told you that before?"

His eyes practically bugged out of his head. "_That's_ Rosalie?"

Being my agent, Emmett had heard all of the stories from the set, so of course I had told him about Rosalie; who had had a pretty strong presence on set… hell, wherever Rose went you knew it. She was pretty good friends with Rachel, the director, so she was around quite a lot. Emmett had seemed relatively interested in her personality, asking what stories there were about 'that Rosie girl', but I hadn't thought that he was actually serious. But now, watching him pant at her, it was clear that he was a hell of a lot more serious than I had thought. I grinned. "I could introduce you."

"Uh huh," was all Emmett responded.

I rolled my eyes and tugged on the bottom of his jacket. "C'mon then big boy." I pulled him over to Rosalie's side and then tapped her shoulder.

She turned round and smiled at me, her blue eyes sparkling. "Oh, hey Edward."

"Great party," I complimented, since she was responsible for most of it; small talk would also hopefully rub her up the right way. Rosalie was also renowned for being very brutal in her honesty; she said what she thought and she was not afraid to be herself. I was almost afraid that she would eat me alive sometimes.

"It's not going too badly, no," she replied with a smile, and that was a compliment to herself in Rosalie speak.

I felt Emmett nudge my elbow and I rolled my eyes before saying, "This is my best friend, and agent, Emmett."

Her gaze drifted from me to Emmett and she looked him up and down. "Hi," she said, keeping a professional attitude, "I'm Rosalie Hale."

"I know. It's nice to bang you… I mean… I want to meet you… I mean… _shit_!"

I watched Emmett's fumbling with an amused expression; an eyebrow cocked, one side of my mouth pulled up. I had never seen him like this before.

Luckily, Rosalie also raised an eyebrow and said, "Right." She glanced at me and smiled. "Later, Edward… Emmett." Then she waved a little, though we were standing right next to her, and drifted off to mingle with someone who wasn't as socially incompetent as Emmett.

Em smacked himself in the forehead. "Dammit."

"Don't worry," I told him.

"But I practically told her that I wanna bang her!" Em wailed.

"She didn't make a snarky comment or say anything nasty, and Rosalie only keeps her trap shut when she likes someone." I didn't mention the sparkle I had seen in her eye; it would do Emmett good to work for something he wanted for once in his whole goddamn life.

He sighed and looked after her wistfully. "Ya think?"

"Oh, I think, Em." I tossed my shot back into my mouth finally, revelling in the burn that the whisky left.

Emmett watched me with suspicious eyes. "You know… you never did tell me why you want to get wasted."

I didn't fail to notice his not-so-subtle subject-change. I took the bait though. "Swan," I muttered, and then I turned back to the bar and asked for a whole bottle of the damn whisky. I was gonna need more than a shot of that shit to get me pissed.

"What?" Emmett asked, watching as I took the uncapped bottle from the bartender and poured myself another shot.

I sighed. "You know Alice?"

Emmett thought for a second and then nodded. "The little fashionista right?"

"Right."

He quirked an eyebrow. "You like her? I wouldn't have thought that she was your type, man…"

"No!" I deflected that immediately. "No. But… her best friend is…" I dropped my gaze as I said, "Bella Swan."

Emmett was silent for a moment, and then he said, "Well shit."

"Yeah."

"That's the chick you ditched, right?"

I nearly growled at him. "It wasn't through _choice_! _Jesus_, Em." I threw back the shot.

"So is she married or something?" he asked.

I froze. _Was_ Bella married to that dick? But then I remembered her saying something about dating and I almost passed out with the relief. "No. But she's got a fucking boyfriend." I glared at nothing in particular as I poured another shot.

Emmett raised both his eyebrows worriedly and opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "Don't even go there. Please."

He hesitated, but I poured a fresh shot and pushed it at him and he looked at it for a split second before giving in with a sigh, and downing it in one.

A few hours later, when it was gone midnight, I was as wasted as I'd hoped to be. Emmett had disappeared to God-knows-where and left me by myself nursing a fresh bottle of whisky. Getting wasted, though, didn't seem to be making the depression fade, so I sighed and sank back into the chair I was sat in, and shoved my hands in my pockets childishly.

It was then that my hand brushed a piece of paper in the pocket. I pulled it out and read the writing on it- which I vaguely recognised as Alice's. All it said was the word 'Bella' and then an address. My brow furrowed, confused for a second, but then my brain caught up and I beamed. God bless Alice.

I stuck the paper back in my pocket and headed outside to grab a cab. When the driver asked where to, I thrust the paper at him and slurred, "Thish plash."

He nodded doubtfully, but started the engine all the same. I thought I heard him say something about not throwing up in his cab, but I wasn't paying any attention. I was going to see Bella and beg her to take me back. Maybe she could even help me take care of the pink elephant that appeared to be following me around now.

**Bella POV**

I stared out of the shop window, mindlessly looking at the sky. The sky was pretty tonight, it was pitch black but filled with a million sparkling orbs; all twinkling brightly. They say that there are more stars in the sky than there are sand grains on the earth. I smiled at the thought; maybe somewhere in a different universe someone also got their beautiful night skies too. If only reality was as easy as the night sky.

I was shaking, I had been since… well since the 'car' incident. Someone up there really must hate me. I mean, for years and years I had tried looking for that man, even attended a stupid premiere and then, when I _had _seen him, I had slapped him! And then, I just wanted to get away! But no- I had to see him _twice in one night! _Didn't _that_ just describe my luck?

"Bella, please- take my jacket! You've been shivering for ages!" Jacob pushed, as we sat on the uncomfortable stools in the fish and chip shop, waiting for our food.

"No, really I'm fine," I told Jake again. The truth was, I wasn't one bit cold – I _was_ in a hot fish and chips shop after all – I was still just shaken and in surprise of today's events.

"Order 101!" shouted a person from behind the counter.

"Come on, Bells that's us." Jacob smiled at me, and helped me stand up before collecting our food.

Suddenly I didn't feel hungry at all, I felt sick. I saw Jake pay for the food and I knew that he would never let me pay him back, so decided that sometime later on I would have to slip the money into one of his pockets or something. He was a very sweet guy, but maybe _too_ sweet for me.

We walked out of the shop, I was glad to get away from the smell, and out into the night. The air was still warm for this time of night, with a nice low breeze, which helped to make me feel a bit better.

"Here you go." Jake smiled, while he tossed me a bag of chips.

I looked down at them and suddenly felt my tummy rumble, in a very bad way. Everything for a second went very dizzy, my vision was blurred and I could feel my face turn to a shade of green.

I threw the bag of chips down and ran to the nearest bush across the road; where it felt like I puked my guts up. I heard a loud thump of footsteps behind me, then two big hands stroking my back and trying to pull my hair out of my face.

Five minutes later, I started to feel a bit better and could stand up properly. Though my face had now gone from green to bright pink in embarrassment. Great way to end a first date, Bella!

But, for some reason, I didn't honestly mind Jake seeing my puke my guts up; he felt like more of a reassuring friend than a date. I only felt embarrassed for being sick in public, not the fact that Jake watched me.

It brought back a memory of the only other time that I had been properly sick with someone there. A time with Edward, when I _ha__d_ felt embarrassed for being sick in front of him. But then I also remembered how the dazzling, crooked smile he gave me afterwards, had nearly made me feel a 100% better again. Jake also smiled, to make me feel better I guess, but I felt nothing.

"Bella, I'll take you back home now- you can come in my car, I'll drive your truck to yours later," Jacob suggested, as he wrapped an arm round me to make sure I stayed up straight, well it probably meant more to him, but I had learnt that Jake wasn't ever going to be more than a good friend. He was sweet and kind, but… well… he was no Edward…

"No, it's fine- I can drive myself." To show him this, I moved away from his body and stood up straight. It gave my head a sharp headache, but I managed to not let it show.

Jacob looked me over double-checking that I was okay; before finally looking at my expression and guessing that I wasn't going to change my mind. He sighed. "Okay Bella. As long as your sure your okay? I think it was those chips to be honest, the smell of them were awful!"

I just nodded in agreement, knowing that it hadn't been just the chips at all. It was today; it had been so long and hectic, though to a normal outsider barely much had happened to me. Seeing Edward, _twice, _had really surprised me. It felt like it had all happened so quick that my mind had barely any time to take it all in, so instead made me sick. Finally re-meeting the man that I'd adored, that I'd had constant, endless dreams about, the man who never ever left my head or memories and the man who had left me all alone. My brain just couldn't handle it, I needed to sleep.

I pretended to yawn. "Jake I better get going now; the car park is down this road yeah?" I checked, as I pointed back to the narrow road we'd walked down.

"Yeah, I'll walk back with you- I want to make sure you get back safely," Jake replied, as we started to walk down the road.

We were both quiet on the way back, with Jake leading the way. I just stared at the pretty sky again, trying to preoccupy my mind for a bit.

"Well, tonight was good… kind of. Okay, that's a lie, it was a complete disaster and I'm sorry Bel-" Jake apologised.

"No, Jake it was good," I cut him off. "I just really need to go home now. I'll see you on Monday I guess." I got into my red truck and closed the door behind me.

I looked back, to see Jake looking a bit upset by my goodbye. "Can we meet again, soon?"

I just pretended that I hadn't heard him through the car door, smiled, waved and drove off down the road. I knew that it was rude, but all I wanted to do was get home and collapse on my bed, before I felt ill again.

I parked my car up and opened my old cranky door, into my house. As soon as I stepped inside, I got dizzy again, so I ran to my room to lie on my bed. I took deep breaths, and soon calmed myself down so I felt a little better again.

I knew it was only half nine, but sleep felt like the right thing to do right now. Not even writing or speaking to that mysterious person seemed to interest me at the moment. My body begged for sleep.

I got changed into my tatty vest and holey sweats, then brushed my teeth to help make my mouth taste better, it felt good. I stretched in my bedroom doorway, loosening all my muscles, and then letting them drop and relax. My body felt kind of empty and disappointed. I had my one chance, which I had dreamed about for years! I had finally seen Edward again and I had just punched him. What if that was it? What if I never saw him again? Could I cope with knowing that I had had a chance and just ruined it?

I decided that stressing out about that again wasn't going to help me. I headed straight to my comfy bed, but a doorbell noise stopped me. I groaned. It had to be Alice, wanting to know every little detail of my date, and then she'd probably have a go at me for punching Edward and want to know why I had done it in the first place. Had Edward told her about us? Maybe Alice had guessed?

I lazily dragged my body to the door, before letting out a sigh and preparing myself for the onslaught that was Alice. Maybe she'd see how tired I was and let me sleep?

I opened up the door and mumbled a, "Hello Alice."

The response was not what I was expecting. "B-Bellaaaaa!" spoke, a weird velvet voice, followed by a man collapsing on top of me; throwing both of us onto the floor beneath us.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Is that… could it possibly be…? Of course it is! C'mon guys, who else has a velvety voice? ;) LOL**

**So… long time, no see? I just want to say that, while we don't update frequently, there is no way in hell that we will leave the story on hiatus. So don't panic about being left hanging ;)**

**Now… as those of you who read VTN and EF will know, I'm doing previews now! And this story is no exception for the preview thing :) So we have a preview for you, following on directly from the end of this chapter. As with my other fics, it's preview for review so… yes :)**

**The update shouldn't be too long because we do have 3 pages of the next chapter already written so we'll try not to take so long this time.**

**Please review?**

**Thanks guys!**

**-Steph (and Laura :))**

**UPDATE: To those of you wondering what I thought about Eclipse who don't read VTN... it was AWESOME! The best one yet. I mean, I saw it twice within 24 hours soooo it must be pretty good ;)**


	11. The Pissed, The Pissed Off, The Dickhead

**Previously…**

_I decided that stressing out about that again wasn't going to help me. I headed straight to my comfy bed, but a doorbell noise stopped me. I groaned. It had to be Alice, wanting to know every little detail of my date, and then she'd probably have a go at me for punching Edward and want to know why I had done it in the first place. Had Edward told her about us? Maybe Alice had guessed?_

_I lazily dragged my body to the door, before letting out a sigh and preparing myself for the onslaught that was Alice. Maybe she'd see how tired I was and let me sleep?_

_I opened up the door and mumbled a, "Hello Alice."_

_The response was not what I was expecting. "B-Bellaaaaa!" spoke, a weird velvet voice, followed by a man collapsing on top of me; throwing both of us onto the floor beneath us._

**~PTP~**

_I think of you every night and day_

_You took my heart and you took my pride away_

_I hate myself for loving you_

_Can't break free from the things that you do_

_I want to walk but I run back to you_

_That's why I hate myself for loving you_

_**-I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts **_**(A/N: love, love, love Joan Jett :) The Runaways comes out here in the UK in a few weeks; cannot wait :D)**

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 11 – The Pissed, The Pissed Off, The Dickhead and The Meddling Moron**

**Bella POV**

"Oof," I groaned as my back hit the floor and the huge weight of a body on top of mine crushed me down.

"Bellaaaa," Edward said again, a goofy grin on his face.

I pushed at his shoulder. "Get _off_."

"Oopshh," he slurred, pushing off of me. "I didn't mean to squisstthhh you Bella, I don't want you squisstthed 'cos then we can't talk and I _need_ to talk to you, my baby Bell."

I stood up and then looked down at him, a puddle of drunken mush at my feet. "Hmm." I shut the door behind him, unsure that reasoning with him to leave me alone when he was in this state was going to work. "Edward." Just saying his name sent shivers down my spine. "We can't talk when you're like this, and I don't want to talk with you anyway."

His expression turned to one of devastation quicker than I could blink and it pulled at my heartstrings. "But I came to talks with you, Bel-" He suddenly stopped and then asked, "Why are there three of you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you're pissed off of your head, you stupid-" _and adorable and sexy and charming and… okay, we get the idea Bella _"-man." Then I frowned. "How did you know where I live?"

He grinned crookedly. "Alish."

I ground my teeth together. "Of course."

"Alish is verrry nice, ishn't she Bella?"

I ducked my head to hide my smile at his lisp. He really was the most adorable drunk I had ever met; I'd have to remember that and get him drunk more often. I froze the moment that thought passed through my head. What the hell? _More often_? We weren't friends anymore.

Edward got up then, swaying on his feet a little and leaning on the doorframe for support. He looked around. "Hmm. S'a house pretty you got here… I mean, pretty house."

"Uh. Huh." I made a mental note to get drunk more often since, apparently, it made my dull and cluttered _apartment_ look like a pretty _house_. Or a house pretty.

Edward turned to me. "Can you tell the pink elephant to go way pleasshe? I'm not fucking Dumbo."

I raised my eyebrows. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Edward." I sighed and made my way through to the kitchen, trying to remember a kind of remedy for complete intoxication. Water? I shrugged and poured a glass of water; it couldn't do any harm, really. Unless I spiked it with Bacardi… which was an intriguing idea, but one I would _not_ succumb to.

After a second's thought, I poured myself a glass of water too, because it sure as hell didn't look like I'd be heading to bed any time soon. I wasn't entirely sure what to do about Edward. I mean, I couldn't just throw him out in this state; he'd probably get himself killed. Or something. But, on the other hand, while he was harmless in this state, if I let him sleep on the couch, I would probably not get _any _sleep at all knowing that he was here and then when he woke in the morning he'd have a slightly clearer head and would be less than happy to wake up in my house.

Edward came stumbling into the kitchen then. I leant against the kitchen counter and watched as he assessed my tiny kitchen.

"Edward," I caught his attention after he didn't say anything for a long moment.

"Yesh?"

I held out a glass of water and drank from the other one.

Thankfully, he took the water and drank half the glass in a few short gulps. Then he put the glass down and smiled at me. "Me n' Emmett drinked lotsh a whitthhsky and I had some tequila too."

"I can see that." I didn't comment on the tequila; I was sure that that must have been a mistake since I had read that Edward didn't like tequila. Maybe he had bought some tequila for his _girlfriend_.

Suddenly Edward's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Where's the dickhead?" His words were surprisingly clear, but I didn't understand what he meant.

"What?"

"The idiot you were with. Jack… or something?" His eyes darted here and there as though he expected someone to come in and kill us or something.

I blinked. "You mean Jacob?"

"Yeah. That dickhead."

I frowned. "First of all, Jake is not a dickhead. Second, how the fuck do you know all of this?"

"Alish," he repeated.

How long had she been planning all of this? Well… knowing Alice, I would have guessed that a drunken Edward turning up at my door in the middle of the night was not a part of her plan.

In that instant, I could have sworn that a light bulb appeared over my head. Edward had been giving me the answer to this all along: Alice!

"Excuse me," I muttered, pushing past him and into the living area to find my phone. I grabbed it up and dialled Alice's number.

"You didn't tell me about the dickhead!" Edward whined like a small child as he followed me.

I rolled my eyes and waited for Alice to pick up. Of course it would go to answer phone. She was probably at _Jazz_. I tried again regardless. This time, though, I left a message. "Hey, Alice, it's me. Um… well… this is going to sound… _insane…_ but I was just calling to ask why the _fuck_ Edward Cullen has turned up at my apartment at half ten at night absolutely pissed off of his head? Oh, and he seems to know quite a lot about my private life- and he says that you told him? Well, whatever. Call me back, okay? Because I can't chuck him out but I sure as hell do not want him here." I hung up and then turned round with a sigh.

Edward was flicking through a stack of papers, his lips pursed. "You're a teacher?" he asked.

I snatched the papers off of him. "Yes. And these are confidential."

He stuck out his bottom lip and came over to me, stopping so close that he was completely invading my personal space. He looked deep into my eyes and said, "I'm rubbing you up the wrong way aren't I?"

I narrowed my eyes, suddenly suspicious. Was he even drunk at all?

But then his hand came up to cup the back of my neck. I saw what he was going to do before he made any move to do it, but I just didn't have it in me to stop him. He bent his head and touched his lips to mine.

The minute our lips were touching, blood boiled under my skin and I gasped into his mouth, my traitorous fingers coming up to knot in his hair in my eagerness. I kissed him back, making the most of the thing that I had wanted more than anything else for the last… God knew how many years. I groaned and hesitantly reached out, dragging the tip of my tongue along his perfect bottom lip and tasting him. He tasted like whisky, and tequila and… _Edward_.

Suddenly, I came to my senses. My eyes snapped open and I pulled away, blushing and looking down at the floor. Edward's finger came under my chin and he tilted my head up so that he could look into my eyes.

"Bella," he whispered softly, suddenly clear and sober-sounding. "I'm sorry."

I looked back into his eyes for a long moment, those dazzling green eyes that I knew so well, and I knew that I had to let him stay. I couldn't throw him out; I loved him too much. I pulled away from him and went through to my bedroom, opening the closet and pulling out a spare duvet and pillow and then going back through to the living room.

I threw them over the sofa and then turned to Edward, blinking warily and rubbing my hand through my hair. "Um… you can… sleep here. Just… don't… don't come and find me, okay?" I looked around again, swallowing to remove the lump that had suddenly risen in my throat at the absurdity of this situation. Then I muttered, "Goodnight," before leaving the room, closing the door behind me so as to emphasise the fact that I wanted a barrier between us; and I didn't want it broken down.

Then I grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen from my jar of pens. I sucked on the end of it for ages, trying to think of what to write. When I took the nib to the page to write his name, I realised that it was broken. I went through four pens before finally coming across one that worked, and then took a deep breath before writing:

_Edward,_

_I had to go out. Help yourself to coffee, or breakfast, or aspirin, or anything else you need. Do __not__ go in my bedroom, please (the one door that's left shut). The spare key's hung up by the door. Use that to get out and then please pass it on to Alice. Do __not__ bring it back to me. Please._

_Also, I'd really appreciate it if you stopped taking Alice's advice because she is a meddling moron who appears to enjoy torturing me. Bit of a sadist, really. She may work for you but that doesn't mean you actually have to listen to her. If you do. I've heard that Hollywood 'hotshots' don't give a shit about anything but whatever._

_Um… I think that's all. I won't be back til late so make sure that you're gone by then. Oh and, FYI, that 'dickhead' is my boyfriend so it'd be great if you backed the fuck off._

_That really is all._

_I hope you have a wonderful time in the future getting pissed and NOT appearing on my doorstep when I'm trying to sleep. Thanks._

_Isabella_

I didn't read the note over. I didn't want to re-read my harsh words. I didn't know _why_ I was being so harsh to him. I would have given anything just to speak to him earlier, but now… Now it was clear to me that he was no different to all of the others. He thought, even when pissed, that one kiss was all it would take for him to own me. I was nobody's freaking property.

I left the note on the kitchen counter where he'd be sure to find it and headed to bed. I set an alarm on my phone for five am so that I could escape before he woke before settling into bed. I doubted that I'd be able to get any sleep knowing that he was in the next room, but that was okay; I needed to think up somewhere to go all day tomorrow since apparently I wasn't going to be at home.

**Edward POV**

A bright- no a _blinding _light entered my eyes, even with them closed, and forced my body awake. Slowly, _very _slowly, I rose my body from the unfamiliar surface beneath me. And that's when it hit me - the pounding head ache, accompanied with an aching stomach, like I was going to puke any minute. I _needed _a toilet. But where the heck was I?

I had no time to take in the unusual surroundings and wonder how the hell I got here as I quickly dashed around to find _any _place that I could be sick in - I wasn't rude enough to just throw up in this strangers house. I randomly looked in rooms; I headed towards the closed door first as people usually shut bathroom doors right? But no it was a bedroom. I moved quickly on to an open door at the end of the hallway, where there thankfully was a toilet; just in time.

Feeling a bit better after puking my guts up (though the mind blowing headache was _still _bashing my brain), I started to look around the hallway to see if I had any idea where I was; but the place was totally unfamiliar to me. Jesus, how wrecked had I gotten last night?

"Hello?" I called out; but got no reply or sound that anyone was in the house.

_Oh no. _What if I'd gotten so drunk last night that I had slept with a random girl and now she had ducked out on me to find the press member who would give her the biggest pay out to spill all about our night together? That was the last thing I needed at the moment! How could I have been so stupid! The story could be out already, and I was still here as proof – maybe she had locked me in the house before the army of paparazzi came to hunt me down.

I remembered seeing a laptop in the bedroom I had looked in, and decided to go and look at it, to see if any stories had broken out yet. I knew from experience that the internet would be the first place where any story would pop up.

I wandered into the bedroom, not caring if I was being rude now, and grabbed the laptop on the side before gently sitting on the warm bed. The clock on the side told me it was 11am, but I still felt as tired as anything and probably looked like shit.

I opened the lid of the laptop and then, just as I was starting to panic that it would be password-protected, the screen lit up. It hadn't even been shut down, or locked, or anything. I thanked my lucky stars and clicked the internet browser shortcut. Then I saw all of the documents open along the bottom of the screen. I wondered if they'd give me any inclination as to whose apartment I was currently in and opened one called 'Document 1' that hadn't been saved yet. Disappointingly, it was blank. So I clicked on another named 'Chapter 3'. I skim-read the words of what seemed to be a story – and a surprisingly well-written story at that. The first few paragraphs made little sense at first, but then, slowly, my messed up brain started to recognise the characters and then the story. My brain hurt too much at first to let me know _where_ I recognised it from. I knew that I must have read it online… but where? I barely went online anymore but… then it came to me. The story I had read; the _brilliant_ author who had so few reviews, but had written such an amazing story! Had I slept with _her_? What a bizarre coincidence. But she had seemed so nice on IM and now, if my suspicions were correct (and I couldn't see another reasonable conclusion as to her not being here) she was being such a bitch! Maybe it had been wishful thinking that such a talented person was nice?

Suddenly feeling a whole lot more guilty for intruding on something so personal to this girl, or woman, I minimised the chapter and re-opened the internet browser, heading straight to Google. Googling yourself is weird at the best of times. Googling yourself and finding that your name is the first on the predicted list for the letter 'E' is even weirder. Googling yourself and having no less than 20,800,000 results come up is beyond terrifying.

I tried not to think about what that meant, and how many people must type my name into Google every fucking day, as I scrolled past the fan sites to the most recent news results. I clicked on 'view all' and then started to scroll through them.

There was all sorts of crap listed.

_Edward Cullen's character Justin Reeves loses out on EW's sexiest beast poll. _I had no idea that this poll existed… and I hadn't played that vampire character in years. That movie was the one that had shot me to stardom.

_Edward Cullen and agent pal Emmett McCarty have been known for having diva-like tantrums. _Since when?

_Edward Cullen almost killed by an elephant! _Now that was just ridiculous.

_Megan is said to be frantic about boyfriend Edward Cullen's mental state following his recent breakdown. _There were many things wrong with _that_ statement.

_Cullen moves in with girlfriend in a posh pad in LA. _Nope. Still in Seattle. I think…

_Edward Cullen wins kissing contest! _A contest I had no idea I was entered in…

_Edward Cullen has reportedly refused to model underwear for the supermarket Marks and Spencer. _I would refuse if they had asked me. But they hadn't.

The list went on.

That shit was bad enough. Then, even worse than that, there were some articles with bits of truth in.

_Tanya Denali spotted outside an apartment block in Seattle that Edward Cullen is rumoured to be living in. _How the piss did they know where I lived and when had they taken that photo of Tanya?

_Edward Cullen voted sexiest man alive for second year in a row! _That was just embarrassing.

_A very drunk Edward Cullen spotted falling into a cab after press-release party. Girlfriend Megan leaves shortly afterwards looking worried. _Damn. They had photographic evidence of my drunkenness.

_Trouble on the rocks for Hollywood super couple Megan and Edward? _They had the same drunken photos.

_Cullen spotted at young brunette's door after drunkenly abandoning girlfriend._ They didn't have photos but apparently a fan had seen me knocking on the door of this house.

Young brunette. That was all they had. I supposed it was only a matter of time before the whole story – whatever the fuck the whole story _was_ – was leaked. This brunette was probably still looking for the highest bidder.

Now I just had to get out of here before she brought the press back to get more photos. Evidence.

I shut the laptop lid, leaving it on as I had found it, and walked out of the bedroom. My stomach was starting to grumble but I didn't know if the rest of my body was ready to take any food yet. I decided that I should probably drink some water before I scarpered, so I went to find a kitchen- the house wasn't big so it wasn't hard.

I walked in, heading towards the tap and sink; when a sheet of white paper caught my eye. Being nosey, I went over and picked it up. When I saw my name written in a messy scrawl that I could never, ever forget my pulse picked up and I read the note.

I took a big intake of breath, before slowly releasing it. This couldn't be true. I couldn't have gone to _Bella's_ house!

But my thoughts were confirmed when I turned around to see a picture of Bella and her mum on her fridge door. It looked quite recent and Bella… well, Bella looked _stunning. _It was like the sun was designed to sparkle off of her perfectly and I could tell that, with age, Bella had gotten even more beautiful then I remembered her. And here I was in _her_ house- I couldn't help but smile brightly at the thought.

I wondered how I had gotten here. But then I remembered the photo of me getting into a taxi. How had I known Bella's address? I went back through to the living room and grabbed my jacket. I dug in the pocket until I found the note that Alice had written. Just like Bella had said in her note. Her very cold, very bitter note that bit with sarcasm. Ouch.

If I had needed any proof that she hated me, there it was. I read it through again, my heart aching with sadness. It gave my heart that plummeting feeling, like I had lost it… lost Bella. Which I had. And turning up drunk on her doorstep and saying God only knows what to her had been one of the shittiest ideas I had ever had, but I had been inebriated. And maybe it was just as well. I would never have had the courage to do it had I been sober, and I had gotten the rejection I needed to stop obsessing over her. The rejection that I had known I would get anyway.

So why did it hurt so fucking much?

Maybe because of her biting sarcasm. Maybe because she had ordered me not to ever see her or speak to her again. Maybe because of her mention of a fucking _boyfriend_.

I wondered if he had been here when I had turned up the night before. Now, that would have been embarrassing_. _To me he was a dickhead and always would be; and no, I didn't even need to get to know him, to know _that_. He had the one thing I had ever really, truly wanted and it hurt badly.

Then something else occurred to me; something huge. _Bella_ had written that amazing story. The person I had been IM-ing was _Bella_. I had spoken to her. _To _her and _about _her, no less. I wondered what I would have said had I known. A smile crept onto my face as I realised that I had a key to Bella's life. A very, very small part but I could speak to her all the same.

I thought about the story then. And then I wondered how on earth I hadn't put the pieces together before. She had said while IM-ing that her best friend had moved away to college and she hadn't spoken to him since. She had written about a boy, and a girl, and a beautiful, beautiful meadow.

I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and opened up the internet browser, going straight to the story via Google. I scrolled down to the last sentence of the prologue:

_And she knew right then that she would never stop waiting. She would wait forever if it meant he would come back to her._

I wondered if that was true, if she would wait, if she did feel that way about me. Or was it just something to make the story more interesting?

I vowed right then that I would stay in contact with Bella using anything I could. In this case, it was my secret identity and her wonderful story. I didn't know what I was going to say to her yet, but I did know that I'd work it out somehow. And I also knew that I needed to see Bella again, in person; I needed to make amends with her, no matter what it took. So I needed to do something _big_, something amazing, to earn Bella back; but I wasn't creative so I had no idea.

There was only one person I could ask for help with this. So I hunted around for the few things I had appeared to have come with, stuffed Bella's note in my pocket and headed off to purposefully disobey Bella's demand about not following Alice's advice.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Dun-dun-duuuun! So Edward's pissed, Bella's pissed off, Jake's a dickhead and Alice is a meddling moron! Oh, and FYI they totally kissed ;)**

**BTW all of the false headlines in this chapter are current news results that come up when you Google Robert Pattinson, and that is the number of results that appear when you Google his name as well. Yes, a site is claiming that RPatz was almost killed by an elephant LOL**

**We (me and Laura) are soooo sorry about the month or so since the last update. I've been on holiday and Laura's been… busy? Lol I don't know. But we're back at school in just over a week so things should go back to normal then and our updates should be fortnightly :) At least, that's my aim :)**

**Thanks so much to everyone who have reviewed and those of you that send me begging messages for updates! You motivate us so much, which I'm sure is hard to believe with such infrequent updates but is really, honestly true!**

**Please keep the kind words coming! :) Reviewers can have an adorable drunken Edward turn up on their doorstep and kiss them. We are willing to stretch to French kissing if we really must ;)***

**Thanks so much :)**

**-Steph (and Laura)**

***Stephaniiie and Lauraaaaa cannot be held legally responsible if Edward Cullen does not turn up to French kiss you. He is a very busy guy, you know. Terms and conditions may apply. Flamers will receive no such gift.**


	12. Small Town Girl

**Previously…**

_I vowed right then that I would stay in contact with Bella using anything I could. In this case, it was my secret identity and her wonderful story. I didn't know what I was going to say to her yet, but I did know that I'd work it out somehow. And I also knew that I needed to see Bella again, in person; I needed to make amends with her, no matter what it took. So I needed to do something __big__, something amazing, to earn Bella back; but I wasn't creative so I had no idea._

_There was only one person I could ask for help with this. So I hunted around for the few things I had appeared to have come with, stuffed Bella's note in my pocket and headed off to purposefully disobey Bella's demand about not following Alice's advice._

**~PTP~**

_Just a small-town girl, living in a lonely world;_

_She took the midnight train going anywhere._

_Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit;_

_He took the midnight train going anywhere._

_**-Don't Stop Believin', Journey/Cast of Glee**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 12 – Small-Town Girl**

**Bella POV**

I burnt my mouth on my takeaway coffee as I meandered down the streets, fighting to keep the feelings away that would come crashing down on me at any second. And fighting to keep my eyes open.

I hadn't slept at all the night before. I had _tried_, but knowing that Edward was asleep in the next room was just too distracting. I tossed and turned for ages, before giving up and deciding to be productive with my insomnia by writing. I must've fallen asleep while writing, though, because the next thing I knew the alarm I had set on my phone woke me up at five o'clock. The screen on my laptop was black so I presumed that it had turned itself off and shut the lid.

I hauled myself out of bed and fumbled around as quietly as I could, pulling on a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a plain red t-shirt and then shrugging an Alaska University hoodie that I found in my drawer over the top. I hadn't ever _been_ to Alaska University, so why I had a hoodie was beyond me but that wasn't the kind of thing I thought about at the crack of dawn.

Then I grabbed my bag, and tip-toed through to the living room to pick up my pile of papers that needed to be graded. I figured that if I had nothing better to do I could go to the library and do that. It was constructive, in the very least.

But, once I had picked them up, I made the mistake of glancing over at my unexpected guest. He was dead to the world, his feet hanging off of the edge because my sofa just didn't fit a six-foot-one guy on it. And he was painfully beautiful; his long, spidery eyelashes grazed his cheeks, his lips were puckered slightly, his brow furrowed anxiously. His jaw was taught, and defined, and dusted with the rough stubble that had burned my cheeks the night before when he had kissed me. His shoulders were broad, but not too broad, and his long arms hung over the edge of the sofa. His fingers were long, and beautiful, and I wanted to entwine them with mine. His hair was even more mussed up than usual; a real bed head.

Hesitantly, I took a step forward, and reached out to brush some of his hair out of his eyes. My heart hammered in my chest as I breathed in his wonderful scent. It was different from what I remembered; it was expensive aftershave, and tequila, and smoke. Only the tiniest hint of the boyish smell that I remembered and associated with Edward remained. It made my chest ache for a moment, but then I remembered that that fact just represented reality; Edward _was_ different now. Only the tiniest bit of the boy that I remembered was still there.

I thought back to the last time that I had seen him, forced myself to remember what he had been like. I pushed all of the new photos I had seen of him in magazines and on websites recently out of my head so that I could make a good comparison. When I finally managed to claw back the memory of him looking dejectedly at me as I slammed my front door in his face, I opened my wet eyes, rubbing the snail trail of tears off of my cheeks. Then I looked down at this Edward.

The Edward I had in my head had a roundish face; the complete contrast to the now sharply-defined jaw that he was so well-known for. My Edward had a lighter shade of hair, and brighter eyes than the Edward I had seen the night before and the one that lay before me now. He had had a bit of hair on his upper lip which he had claimed that he left there because he 'couldn't be assed to shave' but I secretly presumed that he had been proud of the bit of manliness; he had hit puberty later than most guys and had gotten a bit of shit for it at high school. No one could tease him about the facial hair now – he had been papped with a full beard on at least three occasions since he had shot to fame, but he looked much better without it I thought. My Edward had been lanky in high school, but this Edward had buffed up well.

I could have spent all day picking out comparisons. But I forced myself to stop because each change in him, no matter how subtle or unnoticeable, broke off another little piece of my heart.

But what happened next nearly killed me.

Edward groaned slightly in his sleep and lifted his arm up to throw it across his face. "Tanya," he muttered.

I blinked. And then I turned and left the room, trying not to let it sink in that he was dreaming about his super-glamorous rumoured-girlfriend. The girl who really was everything that I wasn't. I numbly let myself out, and wandered along the streets to the coffee store without letting myself think, or feel. I didn't even know what coffee I had ordered until it burnt my tongue as I wandered down streets.

I recognised the name of every street I went down and I found myself wishing that I didn't. I wished that I was somewhere completely new. I felt so suffocated. I had lived in the same two places for my whole life; Forks, and then Seattle. I had spent my whole life doing the same things, feeling the same feelings, pining after the same man. Hell, I had even had the same haircut since I was ten! When Edward and I were kids, we had talked about travelling the world, going to new places and doing so many different things. I had never been as into it as he had but the idea of letting him go off and do all of this exploring by himself hadn't been one I had even considered entertaining. So I had connected my future to his and couldn't imagine living out my life without him by my side. I had imagined that we would sit on the front porch of our old house when we were ninety, me with the same hairstyle, and him with the same shine in his lovely green eyes. How wrong I had been.

It hadn't even occurred to me that Edward had gone off to live out our dream without me until I had stood there, watching him sleep in his designer suit, smelling of his designer perfume on my cheap sofa, in my cheap apartment. That only brought to the forefront of my mind what I had known all along; Edward was too good for me. He had his famous designer labels, and his famous jaw, and his famous-as-fuck girlfriend; while here I was, the same small-town girl that he had left all those years ago.

He had lived these past eight years so well; he had done everything he could have dreamt of and achieved so much. What did I have to show for my eight years? A sheet of paper that said that I could teach a bunch of naive teenagers about a bunch of books that none of them understood.

The obvious contrast between our lives was unbearably painful.

So, there I was; in the middle of an empty street at ten to six on a Sunday morning with a burnt mouth and a black coffee that I didn't like about to have a mental breakdown.

When I came across a little wall that surrounded a flowerbed full of dying flowers, I sat on it, not caring when the chill of the wall froze my bum through my jeans. I put my disgusting coffee down beside me and began to sob into my hands, my shoulders shaking, my nose running and my teeth chattering.

It took a good ten minutes to halfway pull myself together and then I picked up my coffee and headed for the one person that I knew would take me in no matter what I looked like.

"It's 6am," Alice started groggily as she opened the door, her silk dressing gown tied around her body, but then her tired eyes took in my appearance and she pushed the door wider and let me in, kicking it shut behind me. "What happened?" she asked after clearing her throat.

I didn't know where to begin.

"Actually, don't tell me. Let me get some clothes on and some caffeine in my system so that I can take it in." She flicked the kettle on and then went back through to her bedroom to put on some clothes.

My brow furrowed slightly because I was certain that Alice didn't sleep in the nude but then I shook my head and asked myself mentally what I knew about Alice's sleeping habits.

As soon as the kettle finished boiling, Alice was back in the kitchen wearing an oversized white shirt and some pyjama pants. She poured two coffees automatically which I was thankful for because black coffee tasted like dirt. Then she sat at her dining table and took a gulp of coffee. I sat opposite her, fingering the handle to my mug rather than drinking anything.

"So," Alice said once she had drunk enough coffee, "spill."

I looked up at her. "Didn't you get my message last night?"

For some bizarre reason, her cheeks tinted pink and she muttered, "No. I was… um… busy. But, Bella, what _happened _to you? You look awful."

"You gave Edward Cullen my address, didn't you?" I asked slowly.

Alice's face lit up. "He came? He actually came and talked to you?"

"He talked alright," I said darkly. "He came to my door at midnight drunk as fuck and kissed me."

She choked on her coffee. "What?"

I rolled my eyes. "He was spurting some crap about pink elephants and calling my boyfriend a dickhead. And then he passed out on my couch." I hit my forehead with the heel of my hand. "Edward fucking Cullen."

Alice groaned. "Jeez. That idiot is just going to screw things up for himself."

I sighed. "Screw what up? We don't _have_ anything anymore to screw up."

"Winning you back, of course." Her voice suggested that the answer couldn't have been any more obvious.

"Al. He can't win me _back_; he never had me. Besides he will never win me back anyway."

"Stop kidding yourself, Bella," Alice said sternly. "The only time I've seen the two of you together is in that photo in Edward's wallet but even just from that one photo I can tell that the two of you are meant to be!"

I looked up at her, shocked. "Photo?"

"_Meant to be!_" she repeated with more emphasis.

"Alice." I bit my lip nervously and then said, "There was a possibility once. A long, long time ago. But I didn't go to meet him, and I didn't tell him how I felt and I didn't even consider stopping him from buggering off to England with that blonde slut! If I could go back and change things, I would. But now… Alice, we are the very furthest thing from meant to be. He's changed. I haven't. He's a big, huge movie star, and I'm still the same small-town girl he left behind for a bigger, better life," I quoted my earlier thoughts.

Alice was silent for a long moment. Then she said, "You're right. You know what Bella? You're totally, awesomely, sickeningly correct. He _has_ changed. But you can't see _how_ he's changed." She got up and started pacing around. "I've seen pictures of what he used to be like. He looked so _happy_, Bell! Then I compare it to him now, and he seems so miserable. He's always so distant. That night we were at coffee? He told me about you guys being friends; he told me that he hurt you. And there was this look in his eyes… Bella, he regrets it so badly. He hurts over you, so much! And, yeah, he's famous; and, yeah, he's done a lot more than either of us could dream of but… Bella, you can't fight what fate has in store for you. And he's it. He's your fate; I'm sure of it."

I smiled sadly. "I was sure of it too."

"Well, then," Alice said proudly.

"It's not that simple, Al. He has a girlfriend, I have Jacob. And…" I trailed off, not knowing quite how to word it.

Alice looked at me for a long moment. Then she guessed, "You haven't forgiven him for leaving?"

"Not so much that I haven't forgiven as I haven't forgotten."

"So you don't trust him?"

I hesitated. _Did_ I trust Edward? My automatic response was an unequivocal yes. Did I _know_ Edward? No. Not any more. No matter how much Alice insisted that he was still the same person inside, I didn't know him. Hell, even Alice knew him better than I did. And, if I didn't know him then how on earth could I trust him? "How can I Alice?" I said with a sigh. "He's changed. He's famous, and busy, and he could always leave again. It would be so easy for him to go; no strings attached."

"Granted, he could leave on work-related trips, just like when he went to college," Alice admitted easily. "But you could keep in contact. Hells Bells there are so many forms of communication now! Phone, internet, webcam… hey, you could totally try phone sex!"

I blushed furiously. "Alice!"

She laughed. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. If you do, though, you have to tell me what it's like!"

I gritted my teeth. "_Alice_."

She smirked but, thankfully, changed the subject. Not that the new subject was much better. "You never did tell me why you guys didn't keep in contact."

"I threw my phone at the wall after I got pissed off at him and I was too mad at him to make the effort to get his number again. And too proud. And then when we went to that premiere he completely blew me the fuck off!" I slapped my hand down on the table as my anger bubbled up again.

"Bella, he was surrounded by screaming girls. He probably didn't see or hear you."

I opened my mouth to respond, but then the door opened and someone else walked into the room wearing nothing but boxers. I was lost for words and blinked, shocked.

Jasper rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Ally, why are you up so early?" he whined like one of my students. "Come back to bed."

I turned my gaze to Alice, who was bright red and looking embarrassedly at her feet.

I bit my lip as it sunk in that Alice had finally bagged – or maybe banged would be the more appropriate word here – her man and I had prevented them from the whole 'waking up with some kind of post-coital glow' crap. "Sorry," I muttered, pushing my chair back and taking my mug to the sink.

Jasper started at the sound of my voice and his eyes bugged out of his head. "Shit," he squeaked, again sounding like one of my female students, before dashing back to the bedroom.

"Bella…" Alice started, and I guessed that she was about to give me some kind of explanation.

I interrupted her, "It's fine, Al. You don't owe me an explanation or anything. I'm sorry I interrupted… um… whatever this is. I'll go find somewhere else to crash for the day." I sent her a smile.

"No!" Alice said firmly, her brow furrowing. "I'm not throwing you out on the streets. Well, I'm not throwing you as such, but letting you leave would be the no-contact equivalent to kicking your ass out…" She blew out a deep breath and rolled her eyes. "I digress. Whatever. No, Bella, it's fine. You can stay here. Besides, I have a plan."

That did _not_ sound good. I groaned. "Alice. I do not want to be paired up with Edward. I do not want to torture myself by looking at his pretty face ever again. And I definitely don't want you to play matchmaker and leave me crying over the even more broken pieces of my heart. Okay?"

"You have so little faith in me, Bella. Believe it or not, I have a plan for you to get _over_ Cullen, not force the two of you together."

I was instantly cynical. "And it doesn't involve fucking him?" That was always Alice's solution to everything. I had tried it back at University to get rid of the emotional wreck I had become and transform into some new, confident, successful Bella. Guess what? It hadn't fucking worked. All that it had helped me get rid of was my hymen. And that shit had been painful. I shuddered at the memory.

"No," Alice replied brightly. "You feel trapped, right?"

I scrunched my brows together. "I do?"

"Yes, you do. What was it you said? 'I'm still the same small-town girl'? Well, you're gonna change. You should have done this years ago, Bella. We're going to reform you, and you're going to move on. Hell, quit your job and move to a different state if it's going to work! Then you won't feel trapped in your life and you can start _living _it!"

I smiled sadly. "That's a brilliant idea, Al, but it isn't going to work. It's crazy. I can't just up and leave."

"Don't, then," was her simple solution. "Even small changes are great. Move your furniture round in your apartment. Re-decorate. Hell, move to a better apartment! Change your appearance, or get some nice new clothes. A new laptop? It's the little things that matter, Bella." Then she clicked her fingers. "I've got it!"

I still wasn't sure of this plan. When Alice switched on her computer and pulled up Google, I sat down uncertainly beside her. "Got what? What are you doing?"

"The first way that we are going to transform Bella is by finding a hairdresser that is open on Sundays, and getting your lovely hair hacked off."

"Alice…" I started nervously.

"Don't argue with me, Bella. Just go with. I know what's best for you." There was no stopping Alice when she made her mind up; she wasn't a force to reckon with. When Alice got going she was a human hurricane, leaving destruction in her wake.

I let my head fall into my hands and, once again, wondered how on earth my life had turned out like this.

**Edward POV**

A huge, gush of wind nearly blew my body backwards as I opened Bella's door. I supposed that that had more to do with the hangover that was currently raging a war in my head, but it was also an unseasonably cold day. I then turned around to lock Bella's door before looking around to realise that I had no idea where I was - or how to get to Alice's to ask for her help.

I started to walk forwards though it hurt my chest to walk away from Bella's house – it felt as though I was walking away from her; which was the one thing in life that had killed me the most. Though Bella wasn't actually _in_ her house at that moment, it still belonged to her, and smelled of her beautiful scent everywhere I had been in the apartment; why I hadn't picked up on that before, I didn't know. I should have noticed it.

Because, unlike me, Bella hadn't changed; not her smell, her personality, her looks or even her hair… She was still the same Bella, just maybe a bit feistier than before; but I liked that.

But, I realised miserably, I must have seemed so different to her. I'd changed – I knew it even though I didn't like it – because it had been necessary with this new lifestyle, but had my change made Bella feel that she couldn't connect to me or be the same old Bella with me anymore?

I hadn't even noticed that I had started to walk down a random road, too consumed by my endless thoughts. But, eventually, I noticed a road sign telling me a name of the road – _Huckleb__erry Avenue._ The road name rang a bell in my head, but I couldn't work out where I recognised it from. I stopped walking and glanced down the road; I recognised the street, too. I tried to pinpoint in my head the last time that I had walked down this road… I had come here to pick something up… a suit… Alice! It was Alice's road!

I mentally berated myself for not realising that earlier. For not realising that Alice and Bella would naturally live right by each other. They were best friends and God knew that the world would probably collapse if best friends didn't see each other often enough. At least, I imagined that it would be that way with Alice. I didn't know so much with Bella. I realised that I didn't know much about Bella at all; and that hurt me. We had always been so close, and now we were so distant. It had been _our_ separation that would have caused the world's collapse at one point. But it hadn't. The world had continued to turn. It had just turned around me, and I was stuck in my little bubble of aching loneliness watching the world pass me by.

As I walked down the road, I realised that I had forgotten exactly which house was Alice's. I remembered that it was either number 21 or 23, but I had no idea which one. I couldn't remember anything recently; ever since Bella had re-entered my life, ever single thought that passed through my mind had something to do with her.

I counted the numbers – _13 …15…17…19… _–until I got to 21 and 23; both small semi-detached houses joined together but both completely different. One was a dull brown house, with a dead lawn outside it and no evidence of any real care shown to it. The one next beside it was a very brightly painted house, in a light _blue,_ with flowers everywhere, all keeping to a blue and pink code. It had a black wooden door with a light blue knocker, the same colour as the house, and had black frames on the windows too.

It wasn't hard to decide which house was Alice's.

I walked up to 23, the blue and pink house, and lightly used the blue knocker to knock on the door. I could hear no one moving inside, so decided to knock louder again. This time I could hear fast moving footsteps running down the stairs, which seemed to be right by the door. A moment later, the blue door was swung quickly out of my face. In it's place was a tall blonde-haired man, with wet curly hair and a towel wrapped around his waist as though he'd literally just come out of the shower. I _knew_ that I recognised him from somewhere…

"Edward?" asked the familiar voice.

"Jasper!" I nearly shouted; relieved to remember who he was, since my memory had _not_ been up to scratch recently. Then the awkwardness of the situation hit me; I had just half-shouted at a half-naked Jasper on _Alice's_ doorstep.I subconsciously put my left hand behind my neck and started to shyly itch it. "Err… so how're you?"

"I'm, err, well I'm good." Jasper blushed, and I didn't particularly want to know why he was 'good' at that second. "And you?"

"I'm… alright," I replied, not really knowing what to say. I could hardly say "What have you been up to recently?" or "Care to tell me why you're half-naked and using Alice's shower?" This conversation was already awkward enough.

After a few awkward moments of me continuing to awkwardly scratch my neck while Jasper just nodded, I finally remembered why I was there.

"So, err… is Alice about?" I asked, standing up straighter now that we were finally changing the subject.

"Oh right." Jasper's eyes seemed to narrow at the question; if only he knew _why_ I wanted to see Alice. "No she's not in; she's gone out with Bella." Jasper shrugged his shoulders.

"Bella?" I couldn't help but ask straightaway.

"Oh, yeah, Bella's Alice's best friend. She came knocking on the door at like… er sixish it must have been. I don't know, I was kinda still half asleep; but she looked different, like upset? But she wasn't crying or anything. Just… upset. Anyway, she and Alice chatted for ages before Alice came to me to tell me that there was an 'emergency' and that they _had _to go out and that she didn't know for how long." Jasper shrugged again, holding his towel tightly around his waist self-consciously. He looked kind of cold.

I instantly felt awful. What had Idone the night before to make Bella _so _upset? Or had it just been the sight of _me? _She hated me – that much I knew – so coming to her doorway drunk in the middle of the night had certainly not been the best idea in the world, but surely she wouldn't be that upset by my appearance? I must have done something else, I concluded worriedly. I wondered whether Alice would betray her best friend by telling me what Bella had told her about last night. I doubted it; she had heard the whole story – whatever the hell it was – and had probably crossed over to Bella's side. For all I knew they had started a club; they probably even had badges for members with the words 'I hate Edward Cullen' printed on the front. _Fucking great._

"Ok, thank you." I nodded, forcing myself to smile slightly. "Nice seeing you, Jasper."

"You too, Edward," Jasper replied.

I turned to go, but then he called my name after me. I looked back. "Yeah?"

"Are you still coming to _Jazz_ tomorrow evening?"

My brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before remembering that Alice had invited me there on Monday evening. And I had said that I'd go. But I had forgotten about the damn photo shoot. "Shit, no, I can't," I said, pushing a hand through my hair. "Sorry, man, I completely forgot about that. And then Megan reminded me that we're supposed to be…"

"Say no more," Jazz cut me off. "Don't worry about it; we'll arrange it for another time." He smiled kindly at me.

"Yeah. Thanks, man." I saluted him and walked off, hearing the door click shut behind me

I thought about what that little trip had taught me. I supposed that it had shown me that Alice would be no help to me regarding the Bella thing any more now that she had heard Bella's end of the story. And it had taught me that Bella was… well Bella apparently now hated me even more than before. _Hate. _The word broke my heart in this context. The thought of Bella _hating _me hit me like a ton of bricks. I had known that Bella hated me from the moment that I had told her that I had to leave her, but at least then I had only been 99.9% sure. Now that it was 100% confirmed it seemed to rip at me even more and abruptly I couldn't stand myself, or the person that I had become without her. I wanted to be Bella's Edward again, not some top celebrity; not the entire world's Edward. I wanted her to be a permanent fixture in my life rather than this celebrity status that could so easily slip through my fingers. I wanted my little 'Honey-Bee' back; I wanted to see her laugh at my rubbish jokes, and I wanted to feel her hit me when I used the nickname she hated so much, and I wanted to hold her close to me when she was upset.

I was definitely _not _going to give up on her. I would make Bella forgive me, if it was the last thing I did. I wondered what I could do to get her back; I still had Bella's keys, but I couldn't just barge into her house, especially not after she had unquestionably told me _not _to.

But then, suddenly, an idea hit me; try and talk to her at the one place she couldn't escape from.

And, just like that, my mind was made up. I knew that it probably wasn't the best way to approach this problem, but apparently patience just wasn't my bag. Or perhaps I had used up my patience quota of seven years already, and now it had run out.

Whatever the reason, I was going to do it. Today. I was going to get some damn good sunglasses and a beanie hat, and then I was going to brave the throngs of numerous high school students to corner their English teacher.

It was a seamless plan. Sort of.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hi there! This didn't actually take as long as usual, I don't think… unless that's just me? :/ But it IS a loooong chapter and no one can argue with that ;)**

**Before I write anything else in this A/N I want to apologise HUGELY to anyone who reads anything else I write. I don't know if you guys check my profile at all but, if you do, you'll know that all of my fanfictions have been put on a temporary hiatus because I am spending as much time as I can editing, re-editing and re-re-editing THWTLAL because it is number 1 on inkpop and will be read by proper professional publishers in 10 days (I am totally freaking out about this btw). So if you're wondering where I've gone, I am still here I'm just being sensible (for once) and prioritising. And I will be back soon, I promise :)**

**Now, um, PTP… :) I think that I can honest to God promise some actual talking between Edward and Bella next chapter. Unless the plan changes dramatically, they're gonna finally get their shit together! ;)**

**I don't really have anything else to say right now, I don't think… sorry, I'm being really boring this evening :/**

**OH! This is so random but a lot of you guys use twitter, right? Well I need your help. I clicked on the 'get new twitter' thing and now I cannot get onto it on my laptop AT ALL :/ I just have the bar along the top saying 'Home' and 'Profile' etc. None of the hyperlinks work and I cannot for the life of me find anyone with the same problem or a solution. So if any of you guys know how I can fix this, PLEASE tell me! Thank you :)**

**And, because I'm in a random mood now, I found a bar of ECLIPSE CHOCOLATE in a shop the other day. I bought it straight away ;)**

**AND The Runaways is AMAZING! Rude, yes, but amazing. And Kristen is shameless, and brilliant, and talented, and just incredibly epic. I love her.**

**That is all :)**

**I don't know when the next update will be but Laura and I are trying to nail down a scheduley thing so hopefully not too long! :)**

**Sorry about the insane A/N :/**

**Your reviews give us motivation to write, they really do :) Thank you for each and every one and please continue to leave them if you think we're worthy :)**

**Thanks so much… I was going to say 'guys' but I always say guys and I feel like I need something different… um… cliff-hucking floozies*?**

**-Steph (and Laura)**

***in case you've been living under a rock, or not reading Hydraulic Level 5, that term was coined by the incredible Gondolier and if you're not reading her story HL5 then you should be ;) It's brilliant :)**


	13. Smoke Without Fire

**Previously…**

But then, suddenly, an idea hit me; try and talk to her at the one place she couldn't escape from.

And, just like that, my mind was made up. I knew that it probably wasn't the best way to approach this problem, but apparently patience just wasn't my bag. Or perhaps I had used up my patience quota of seven years already, and now it had run out.

Whatever the reason, I was going to do it. Today. I was going to get some damn good sunglasses and a beanie hat, and then I was going to brave the throngs of numerous high school students to corner their English teacher.

It was a seamless plan. Sort of.

**~PTP~**

_If I had it my way we'd put the past aside_

_We'd take the boat to the bay leaving the whole world behind_

_As the sea takes hold_

_Of our tales untold, I'd say_

_Come with me and I won't fall without a fight_

_If you're scared it's ok_

_If you leave it's fine_

_If you must run away leaving us to wonder why_

_If we had more time_

_If I'd found the lines to say_

_Now I'm done with running away_

_**-Southern Skies, Holiday Parade**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 13 – Smoke Without Fire**

**Bella POV**

I pushed my fingers through my new hair as I climbed into the front seat of my truck, glancing at myself in the rear view mirror as I sat down. Alice hadn't been exaggerating when she had said 'hacked off.' My lovely long hair – that had previously hung halfway down my back – now ended in sharp, choppy layers mostly around my chin. The longest layers finished just below my shoulders and Alice had even persuaded me to let the hairdresser put in reddy-brown highlights. It was different. But I still felt the same.

I went back to Alice's with her, not wanting to go back to my apartment in case Edward was still there. When we came in, Jasper was sat at the dining table in a pair of baggy blue jeans and a white polo shirt eating a bowl of cereal and reading a tabloid. He looked up when we came in. "Hey, baby. Great hair, Bella."

"Hey, Jazz," Alice responded, blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Thanks," I said, shooting him a quick smile as though this wasn't incredibly awkward.

"What's actually going on with Mr Hollywood, Al?" he asked innocently a moment later.

Alice glanced edgily at me. "You mean Edward?"

"Who else?" He tapped the front page of the tabloid and tossed it down on the table.

Intrigued, I crossed the room and picked it up, pushing a strand of newly-annoying hair out of my eyes before reading the story.

_**Look who's sucked the bar dry! **_Was the pathetic attempt at humour displayed in the bold headline above the photo of a decidedly drunken Edward. I didn't even give the crappy writers the satisfaction of an eye roll before moving onto the article.

_Last night, Hollywood hottie Edward Cullen (most famously known for playing the part of vampire, Justin Reeves in the film adaptations of the 'Sunrise' books) practically fell into a cab after what appears to be a bender at the pre-production party of his new film, 'Coffee for Hippos'. One fan, Kimberly Knight, reportedly followed the cab and watched as he called at the door of a local girl, who he immediately pulled in for a kiss. Kimberly said: "He was completely drunk and knocked at the door like he wanted to bash it down. About two minutes after he started knocking, a pretty brunette answered it in her pyjamas. He kind of fell on her and she closed the door." Kimberly also stated that she has photographs but they are bad quality due to the lack of light and she has not yet released them to the press._

_Cullen already had a notorious reputation after being supposedly romantically linked to many of his co-stars but those stories were quelled recently thanks in large part to his old friend Tanya confirming that they are in a relationship last week. However, rumours continue to fly regarding his co-star for 'Coffee for Hippos' Megan Delaney and this midnight rendezvous is sure to bring questions about the _Sunrise_ actor's personal life back to the front page of every tabloid in the forthcoming weeks._

_To read more about Edward Cullen's rumoured celebrity partners and his career, turn to page 6._

"Alice," I gasped looking up at her with panic written all over my face, "a girl has photos. Pictures of Edward at my house."

Jasper's eyes widened. "Hold up. _You're_ the girl that he's cheating on Tanya Denali with?"

"No!"

"Bella, sweetie, calm down." Alice's voice was soothing. She came over and took the paper from me before throwing it straight into the recycling bin. "His agent, Emmett, called while you were having your hair cut and I'm meeting up with him later on this afternoon to help him set things straight. He says that the girl never actually confirmed that she had photos, just hinted at it, and he suspects that she made it up to get more money and attention."

"But she _could_ have photos?" I thought about my career; there was no way that I could teach for a while if photos of Edward falling on me on my doorstep came out.

Alice sighed. "Yes," she admitted. "She could have photos, but Edward has a whole team of people coming together to stop anything like that from coming out. They've stopped the press from tarnishing his image before, and they can do it again. Edward will probably release a statement after we've spoken to him tomorrow because, as far as I know, he's not dating anyone and he's not fucking them either."

Relief resonated around my whole body.

But then Jasper spoke up. "I don't know about that, Al."

Alice's eyes snapped to his face shortly after mine did. "What do you mean?"

"He dropped by this morning to tell you that he couldn't come tomorrow night because he's going out with that Megan girl."

I turned back to Alice before she had the chance to respond to Jasper's comment. "You invited him? For God's sake Alice! You promised that you wouldn't get involved with this!"

"Bella, calm down, I…"

"No!" I slammed my hand down on the table. "I will not fucking calm down! If the press find out where Edward was last night, I will probably lose my fucking job. If I am seen with Edward, I will probably lose my fucking job. If you set me up with Edward then you are setting me up for heartbreak! Why are you telling me to _calm down_? This is serious, Al! You promised that you wouldn't! What part of 'I am dating Jacob' do you not understand?"

"Your eyes," Alice answered flatly.

I scoffed. "That doesn't make any sense."

"In your eyes, when you talk about Jacob, they're sad; _you're_ sad, Bella. You're not meant to be with him."

"Well I'm with him. Period. In fact, I'm gonna invite him tomorrow. If Edward Cullen's allowed to date his colleague then I don't see why I shouldn't be." I turned and started to walk out of the house.

"Hang on one freaking second, Bella!" Alice shrieked after me. "You're wrong. Something's not right. Edward isn't dating Megan."

I sighed and turned back round to look Alice in the face. "I'm sorry, Alice. But this time it's you that's wrong. I'll see you tomorrow evening." And then I opened the door.

This time, Alice let me go.

**#x#**

The next day was a little bit awful. My truck broke down so I had to call Jacob and ask him to give me a lift to the school, which meant letting him do his whole saving-a-damsel-in-distress performance, and agreeing to let him fix my truck at some point and pick me up for work every day until then. It was lovely that he would do these things for me but, right then, it wasn't really Jacob that I wanted to be picking me up every day for work.

While we drove to school I plucked up the courage to ask him to _Jazz _that night before I changed my mind. He accepted, of course. I was coming to think of Jacob as a little puppy; adorable and loyal but, at times, annoying as hell. But whenever I thought that I felt mean, so when he asked me out to lunch with him after third period with a bunch of juniors, guilt was part of the reason that I agreed.

Jacob barely did anything but praise me over lunch, which was sweet but a little awkward. Then we went back to school and graded papers side-by-side before the last period of the day rolled around and my freshman class came in.

It was another lesson on media and, this lesson, they had all brought in their own bits of media to talk about to the class. I wished that I had never set that as homework the very second that the first pair started their verbal presentation on a tabloid that they had picked up the morning before; with Edward splashed on the front page.

As the lesson went on, I realised that very few students had picked out a media piece _without _Edward on. As a result of this, I spent most of the lesson reminiscing about the kiss we had shared and then mentally slapping myself on the wrist for consenting to the kiss when I hadn't been single. And then mentally slapping my wrist again for not thinking about that factor until the day after it had happened. When time came to give feedback on each verbal presentation, I found myself stumbling for something to say and asking Jacob of his thoughts instead, using the fact that he was a trainee as an excuse.

After the bell had rung for the end of the day and the teenagers had run excitedly out of the room, I flopped back into my chair feeling absolutely exhausted though I hadn't really done anything in order to feel like that.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jacob asked quietly, coming to my side. "You look a little… confused."

I frowned at his choice of words. _Was_ I confused? I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired, you know? I didn't sleep well last night." That was true. I had been kept up practically all night by thoughts of Edward. Eventually, I had turned to my writing to make use of my insomnia for the second night in a row.

"You ready to go?"

I looked over all of the desks. A lot of magazines had been left behind on the tops and barely anyone had put their chair on the table as they were supposed to at the end of the day. I sighed. "No. I should probably clear up."

"Cool, I'll help."

"No!" I said, a little too fast. "It's fine. You go home and I'll sort this out."

"But I'm driving you home, Bella."

"I'll walk," I responded. "I could do with a little time with my thoughts, to be honest."

Jacob looked at me uncertainly for a moment, but then he backed down. "Okay." He turned for the door and opened it as I got up and started to walk around the classroom to put the chairs on the desks.

"Oh," I heard Jacob say a moment later, "sorry, I didn't see you there." Then his attention was back on me again. "I'll see you later. Picking you up at half six, right?" he called across to me.

"Yeah," I said, hoisting a chair up on to the desk and then looking down at the magazine that a student had left on the desk. It was the last issue of _Crush_. In fact, the very same one I had been reading just over a week ago; the one with the profile photo of Edward Cullen on the cover.

"Right." Jake hesitated as I stared at the mag. "Um… Bella, this guy wants to speak to you. See you later," he repeated.

I sighed and turned around, mentally preparing myself to speak with a student's parent or another male colleague or something. But no kind of mental pep talk could have prepared me for the man that I did come face-to-face with. Again.

My eyes flickered over his tall and muscular frame and then settled on the carpet, not wanting to look at his beautiful bronze-coloured hair, or into the green eyes that melted my knees. I didn't know that I wouldn't have seen either even if I had looked up thanks to his dark shades and green beanie hat.

After a moment of awkward silence, I cleared my throat and turned back round to start putting the chairs up on the tables again. It was supposed to tell Edward that I didn't want to talk to him but he either didn't get the message, or ignored it because he murmured, "You changed your hair."

I snorted dismissively as I hoisted up another chair. "You changed," I said flatly.

"Yeah."

I was going to kill Alice and her stupid match-making ideas. I made my way around the classroom as fast as I could, ignoring Edward as I dumped the chairs on their respective tables. I just wanted to get out of there fast, or wake up from this insane dream.

"Do you like teaching here?" Edward asked quietly.

I hesitantly glanced up and saw that he was leaning against the smart board. I breathed a mental sigh of relief when I saw that he had covered his gorgeous hair with a beanie hat and his beautiful eyes with dark glasses. I turned away again and continued lifting chairs. "Yeah."

"Huh. And he's your boyfriend?" He kept his tone carefully emotionless.

"Mmm hmm. The very same 'dickhead'."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

He fell quiet then, finally registering my sharp tone.

Once all of the chairs were up, I started to gather the magazines without looking at the face that adorned almost all of the covers again.

"Say something," he begged after the silence had hovered for a long, long time.

I sighed as I dumped the pile of magazines on my desk to give back to the students next lesson. "Like what, Edward?"

The only response he made to my question was to take his shades off and look at me intently with those green, green eyes. It hurt something deep in my chest. But it was easier to be angry then hurt so I glared at him.

"What? You want me to tell you how much I wish things are different? How much you hurt me when you left? How awful I feel that I never went to that damn meadow?" I looked away from him so that I could continue because he was beginning to render me speechless. "How I haven't seen a single film that you've been in because I just _know_ that it will hurt too much? How having to look at this _shit_ everyday kills me inside?" I flung the pile of magazines at him, not caring when they bounced off of his chest and fluttered to the floor, messing up my newly-tidy classroom. "How I secluded myself from everyone but Alice for years because I was afraid that they'd abandon me as well? Do you want me to welcome you back into my life like nothing ever happened because, all of a sudden, apparently you fucking miss me? Gotten bored with Hollywood, huh? And so you thought 'oh, I know, Bella will speak to me because she's the kind of girl who just laughs it off. She won't care that I've fucked every woman who's ever been on the front cover of EW magazine because she's just Isabella Swan – that little girl I kissed once on a dare.' You sicken me, Cullen." I took a deep breath and blew it out through my teeth, furiously wiping at my wet eyes.

"That's not fair, Bella." He came over to me. "You know that it's not like that."

I laughed bitterly. "Not like what? Is this the part where you tell me that everything they say about you is bullshit? Because there's never smoke without fire, Edward."

He looked a little wounded. _Good. _"I haven't done any of that shit. And you're my best friend, not some little girl I kissed once on a dare."

"No I'm not. I _was_ your best friend. Now I am a high-school teacher with a crappy apartment stood in front of a fucking movie star and wondering what the hell happened to our plans. The touring the world thing was all bullshit too, wasn't it? That was always your dream, but you didn't really want to include me in any of it. I just tagged along and annoyed you, didn't I?" I moved closer and closer to him as I spoke, trying desperately not to show any emotion on my face.

His jaw clenched and his eyes went hard. "Now you're being unreasonable."

"Am I? Really?"

Edward hesitated and then said, really softly, "I loved you, Bella."

Before I could control myself, my hand had reached up of its own accord and slapped him round the face. Again.

"What the fuck?" Edward exclaimed angrily.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" I shrieked. "You don't know the fucking meaning of that word! If you had then maybe you'd have had a little more consideration for my feelings." And then I picked up the papers that I needed to take home for grading and stormed toward the door.

"Bella, wait."

Reluctantly, I turned slowly in the doorway. I kept my tone icy. "What?"

"Will you ever forgive me?" His eyes pleaded with me.

I sighed. "I don't know you, Edward."

He nodded sadly and looked at his feet. "Would you have forgiven him?"

I didn't have to ask who he meant. We both knew that we were talking about the Edward that I had known. I looked down at my feet feeling the tears finally escape and run down my cheeks like a waterfall, and then I whispered, "In a heartbeat."

And then I escaped before he could pull me back in with more of his words, leaving him stood in my classroom.

I hoped that he wouldn't follow me, but realistically I knew Edward too well to think that he would give up. Or, rather, I _had_.

I knew that, if he was going to follow me, he would take the long way round, by the reception desk to the right of my classroom; so to beat him I went left and across the field which would give me hopefully enough time to get away from him.

A feeling was coming back to me, a feeling that I couldn't quite describe, a feeling in my stomach and chest that I _hated. _It reminded me of the endless days when I had to leave Edward at seven thirty sharp for Charlie. The feeling seemed to consume my body whenever I had had to go away from Edward, like a sun losing its light. It burned and hurt. I'd had the feeling inside of me since Edward had left me, but I had become numb over the years - numb enough that I could almost ignore it. But not now. No, now the feeling was at full strength again, burning the front of my body. But I shouldn't have felt like this. I had Jacob and I _hated _Edward… I had to.

When I reached the car park I realised that I had no car. Great. At least I wasn't with Jacob; I really didn't think that I could have handled that at that moment. I looked around to see no Edward, so carried on walking out of the school gate and onto the main road.

There was a sharp icy wind, which harshly whipped against my face; plus, I'd worn no jacket today, so that now my body was shivering in the coldness. Worse yet, I had an hour's walk home. I hoped, maybe foolishly, that the walking would warm my body up.

I tried to focus my thoughts on the chill rather than Edward; though that was never going to happen. I felt quite proud of the speech I had given him; I had finally put across how I'd been feeling for all of these years to him. He'd had it all! The perfect girl, the dream job, the travelling of the world… And all the while I'd been sitting in a crap house, with crap hot chocolate, thinking about him and then getting depressed. While he was out there having fun and not giving a damn about the world around him! Then one day he thinks he can just walk in on my life like nothing had happened? He was a jerk! He may have had the perfect, mesmerising emerald eyes and the amazingly tousled bronze hair…

Suddenly, a car honking its horn behind me made me jump, pulling me from my interior rant. I turned around to check that I was walking on the pavement, not the road. I was, so my brow furrowed in confusion. The honk sounded again, but closer to me this time. I sighed and then turned to see what the idiot wanted – I was already in a foul mood.

A shiny, silver Volvo – which obviously belonged to someone with a _lot _of cash – rolled by, with black stained windows. The driver's window rolled down, and I was met with the handsome face I had been looking at only ten minutes before.

"Edward, leave me alone, _please_; haven't you done enough for one day?" I begged, as I started to walk forward again. I tried to calculate in my head how fast I'd have to run to get away from him. I had to admit that, even without my tendency for tripping and almost killing myself on a regular basis, the odds weren't great.

The car rolled slowly with me, keeping at my pace. "Bella, you're freezing! Please at least let me give you a lift home."

I turned to see his eyebrows knot in worry as his emerald eyes turned a shade darker at the sight of my shivering body.

"I'm perfectly fine," I lied, badly, while trying to storm away from him.

To my surprise Edward chuckled and the sound was still like music to my ears - I'd really missed his laugh. "Bella you are _such _a bad liar! Some things never change, huh?"

"I guess not," I mumbled stubbornly.

"Just get in the car Bella; you'll get sick if you walk all the way back in this weather! If it makes it any better for you, I'll only just give you a lift to the end of your road. I'm passing by there anyway." His tone was so persuasive that it was hard to reject.

"No," I mumbled again, quietly.

Edward sighed. "You're still so stubborn. Come on, just get in the car," Edward pleaded.

I stopped walking and let out a big sigh. Edward's car stopped beside me and I walked steadily round to the passenger side before opening the door fiercely and slamming it shut as hard as I could when I got in; which just made Edward chuckle again, though it was slightly strained.

Calm, relaxing classical music was playing in the car, which sent a shot of déjà vu through me. He still played the same music as he had back in Forks? He'd changed so much to me that it was hard for a small similarity to not surprise me; everything else about him was so foreign to me.

"Where's your car?" Edward asked, as casually as he could; though his tone seemed a little put on.

"Garage," I answered bluntly.

"Why's it there?"

"It broke," I mumbled.

"Really?" Edward asked sarcastically. "I thought that cars went there because they _weren't _broken, geez my mistake!" Edward nudged my shoulder accompanied with a wink; trying to make me giggle like he _used _to.

I wanted to laugh and join in so badly, but I knew I couldn't do that, so, somehow, I managed to turn away and look out of the window.

I heard Edward let out a low sigh. "Here's your road, just like I promised." He nervously scratched the back of his neck and smiled slightly – another thing that hadn't changed – which made me pause a bit. "Are you okay Bella?" he asked, seeing my reaction.

"I'm fine," I spat bitterly. "Thanks for the lift, bye." I quickly slammed the car door and ran down the road, until I got to my door; opened it then slammed it behind me. I sank to the floor, resting my head on my knees.

Edward _had _changed, I knew that – hell I had even expected that – so how was I seeing similartities between the new and old Edward after spending such a short time with him? Was the Edward _I _knew still underneath this foreign guy?

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hmm… methinks a bit of a turning point here ;) They spoke! Civilly! Like actual grown-ups… well… sort of… lol**

**Uh… I haven't updated anything on here in ages so I'm going to take the advantage of this update to get you lot up to speed as to what's going on at my end:**

**-Firstly the edited version of THWTLAL is still with the editors. I haven't heard anything from them yet but I will be posting what they say (or the gist of it) on my facebook (link on profile) if you want to know :) The fanfiction version will stay posted on here for as long as I can keep it up and I will give AT LEAST a week's notice before I pull it**

**-Updating. I'm going to focus on one fic at a time, in addition to this one. Because FOM is the closest to being finished, I'm going to work on that first. Then, after I've finished it (there are only like 2 chapters left) I will work on VTN with maybe the odd update of TDIB. I'm sorry for all of the temporary hiatuses but I just have far too much on my plate at the moment what with editing THWTLAL and writing my original story (it's on inkpop… check it out if you want ;)) to keep everything up, and I promise that that is all they are – temporary. I WILL finish them, it may just take a little while :)**

**I think that's all. I'm going to edit my profile soonish so if you would like updates then keep an eye out there :) I'm so, so sorry that I've abandoned all of these stories for a while but RL has just completely eclipsed everything else (:O I said Eclipse! ;))**

**OMG that reminds me :) My mum found out the other day that a little cinema near me is showing Eclipse again during half term and, therefore, ON my seventeenth birthday (the 27th October)! So I'm going to see it on my birthday :D Sooo excited :)**

**That really is all. I'll shut up now. I'm sorry for the waffle.**

**Before I start to waffle (yum, waffles :D) again, I'll go :)**

**Please drop a review and let us know what you thought of Edward and Bella's… talk ;) It would be awesome if we could hit 1K reviews with this chapter - just sayin... ;)**

**-Steph (and Laura)**


	14. Edward Cullen: Date Crasher

**Previously…**

_I heard Edward let out a low sigh. "Here's your road, just like I promised." He nervously scratched the back of his neck and smiled slightly – another thing that hadn't changed – which made me pause a bit. "Are you okay Bella?" he asked, seeing my reaction._

"_I'm fine," I spat bitterly. "Thanks for the lift, bye." I quickly slammed the car door and ran down the road, until I got to my door; opened it then slammed it behind me. I sank to the floor, resting my head on my knees._

_Edward_ had_changed, I knew that – hell I had even expected that – so how was I seeing similartities between the new and old Edward after spending such a short time with him? Was the Edward __I __knew still underneath this foreign guy?_

**~PTP~**

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_Wishing that I realised what I had when you were mine_

_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right_

_**-Back to December, Taylor Swift **_**(A/N: I got Speak Now yesterday for my birthday and OMG it's amazing. If you haven't got it yet, then you should get it soon; her best one yet, I think :))**

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 14 – Edward Cullen: Date Crasher Extraordinaire**

**Edward POV**

The little green circle taunted me. It stared at me. It pulled me in and pushed me away at the same time. It made me feel excited and it made me feel sick to my stomach. After staring at it for almost an hour, it still hadn't faded.

So, I took a deep breath and then put my hand on the mouse. I hovered the cursor over that annoying green circle and then double-clicked. A window sprang up. I hesitated, and then I typed.

_**Bella. Why do you hate me so much?**_

I stopped. I stared at the screen again. Then, I deleted it because I already knew the answer. One letter at a time. I tried again.

_**Bella. I'm sorry. So sorry. Please forgive me. I'll do anything if you'll just forgive me. I don't want this life if it means you can't be a part of it.**_

I deleted that as well.

_**Bella. I love y**_

That was deleted before it was even finished. I hit my head against the keyboard and left it there. I jumped a moment later when the ping sounded alerting me to a new message. I looked up and my eyes scanned the conversation now in the window.

_**Just_Another_Guy: hybggggggdsgufi**_

_Passionate_Writer: ?_

_Passionate_Writer: Hi to you too ;)_

Fuck! I cursed my stupid head.

_**Just_Another_Guy: Uh… hi. That was an accident by the way.**_

_Passionate_Writer: I kind of figured lol_

I pursed my lips, wondering what to type. How had it been so easy before, but now that I knew that it was Bella behind the words it was so damn hard? But she beat me to finding words.

_Passionate_Writer: How was your day?_

_**Just_Another_Guy: Confusing**_

_Passionate_Writer: Oh dear. Why?_

_**Just_Another_Guy: There were ups and downs, but the ups **_**were**_** the downs. That doesn't even make any sense.**_

She took a while to reply. Suddenly, I was paranoid that she knew who I was and was going to accuse me of being an imposter, and of stalking her. But then her message popped up.

_Passionate_Writer: Yes it does. I had the same. It's like… well, today I saw someone. I really like him. I think. But I really, really don't want to. He hurt me and I don't feel like I can trust him, and I don't like him; not really. But when I saw him… it was like… I don't know. Everything was right again. Now he's gone and taken everything good with him. I wish that it didn't feel that way._

My breath caught in my throat and my heart raced. I was frozen for a while, out of shock, so I couldn't respond.

_Passionate_Writer: Sorry. You don't want to hear about my baggage._

_**Just_Another_Guy: Yes I do!**_

_**Just_Another_Guy: I mean… I don't mind. You can tell me whatever you want. I can help you.**_

_Passionate_Writer: :/ I don't think anyone can help with this_

_**Just_Another_Guy: Well… what did he do?**_

_Passionate_Writer: He left me. For a pretty girl with a rich dad. This was eight years ago._

That was why I hated hearing the truth. It hurt. I had been such a dick.

_**Just_Another_Guy: What a dick.**_

_Passionate_Writer: Yeah._

That hurt even more.

_Passionate_Writer: And now he's kind of… back. He's living where I live anyway. My best friend works for him and she's being a pest, trying to get us back together or something. And she gave him my address and he came round and kissed me, but he was so drunk. And then today he turned up at my work place wanting to be BFFs again… what is with that?_

Wait. I did _what_?

_**Just_Another_Guy: He **_**kissed **_**you?**_

_Passionate_Writer: Yeah. I've wanted to kiss him since I was 13. I never imagined it being like that though._

Fuck. No wonder she hated me so much. I had tried to take advantage of her while I was drunk. And she had wanted to kiss me for that long? Almost as long as I had wanted to kiss her? That just reiterated that leaving her was the worst thing I had ever done.

I realised that she was waiting for my reply.

_**Just_Another_Guy: No shit.**_

_**Just_Another_Guy: Jeez.**_

_Passionate_Writer: I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this._

_Passionate_Writer: He said he loved me._

_Passionate_Writer: Jeez, what should I do?_

Forgive him. Love him. Take him the fuck back already.

I wished that I could say that. I wished that it was the right thing for her to do.

_**Just_Another_Guy: What do you want to do?**_

_Passionate_Writer: Kill the million and one girls who are supposedly his girlfriends._

_**Just_Another_Guy: I'm sure they're not actually his girlfriends.**_

_Passionate_Writer: Trust me, he told a mutual friend that he was going out with at least one of them._

What the fuck? I had never said anything like that to anyone…

_Passionate_Writer: And whose side are you on anyway?_

_**Just_Another_Guy: Yours. I'm just… well… I'm a guy, and… guys… well, girls kind of have a tendency to blow things out of proportion (no offense)**_

_Passionate_Writer: I suppose none taken. I work in a high school; I know girls blowing things out of proportion._

_**Just_Another_Guy: Ah, high school girls are the worst.**_

_Passionate_Writer: Tell me about it. The guys aren't much better, though._

_Passionate_Writer: But that doesn't solve my problem. I'm ignoring him. But I can't ignore him forever._

No, she couldn't. I wondered what to put next. She was telling me so much, letting down all of her walls. I knew what I _wanted_ to ask her, but I didn't know if I could do it. Partly because I feared rejection, but mostly because I didn't want to get her to say so much about something so personal when she didn't know who I was. She'd hate me. But then I remembered that she already hated me. So, really, what did I have to lose?

I took a deep breath, and then I typed the words.

_**Just_Another_Guy: Do you love him?**_

_Passionate_Writer: I… I _did_._

_**Just_Another_Guy: Do you still love him?**_

I bit my thumbnail. This was it. Her reply would change everything.

She took a long time.

_Passionate_Writer: I don't know. I have to go. I have a sort of date._

_Passionate_Writer: Another problem to add to the list._

_Passionate_Writer: Thanks for your help. See you round._

And then she was gone. Damn it! The little green circle had turned red and that taunted me even more. I wondered whether Bella was avoiding telling me, or rather 'Just_Another_Guy,' the answer to the question, or whether she was avoiding admitting the answer to herself. Whether it was yes or no.

The alarm on my phone rang shrilly through the empty apartment, and I sighed, and shut down my computer.

**#x#**

I looked at the clock. Eight o'clock. They'd all be at _Jazz_ now. If I didn't have this stupid shoot, I could have made up with Bella already.

"Okay, Edward, what the hell?" Megan placed her hands on her hips and stared at me. We were shooting promotional photos for the movie, which was set to come out in about a month, and it was our break time. I don't know why they needed so many photos; we had already been posing – both separately and together – for two long hours.

I took a swig of water from the plastic bottle. "What do you mean?"

"What's going on with you? You've been distracted this whole shoot; and you keep looking at the clock. What's going on?"

I sighed and fiddled with the bottle cap. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," she said simply. She snatched the bottle cap from my hand and twirled it on its side. We both watched it spin for a second, and then it fell flat on the table. Megan looked up at me. "It's that girl, isn't it?"

"What girl?" I bluffed.

"The one you told me about at the party."

I stared her down, but I cracked first. No one could survive Megan's stares. "Yes," I admitted.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

Megan just quirked an eyebrow.

We sat in silence for a while, and then I said, a hint of wonder in my voice, "She loved me." After that, everything spilled out. I told Megan what I had done to Bella, including the date she had with Jacob tonight, and even the IM-ing. She just sat, and listened, and nodded, a look of concentration on her face. "What do I do?" I asked her desperately when I was finished.

Megan smiled and then she twisted in her chair and pinpointed the film's PR manager with her eyes before yelling, "Hey, Rosalie! Come over here!"

Rosalie's eyes lit up with excitement and she was by our table in a second. "Well?"

"It's the L word, babe. Hand it over."

Rose scowled. "Dammit." She dug around in her pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. She pressed it into Megan's outstretched hand with a pout.

"What? What's going on?" I asked, confused.

"Well, you see, me and Megsy here had a little bet on what was distracting you. She, being the hopeless romantic that she is, bet me twenty bucks that little old you were in love. I took her up on it because, to be completely honest, I could have sworn that you were gay." Suddenly Rose's eyes widened. She whipped her head back to Megan. "Wait! If he's hung up over another dude then that doesn't count."

"No, no, it's a lady," Megan assured her.

I stared at them. "You made a bet about me?" And then I looked specifically at Rose. "You thought I was _gay_?"

"In my defence, Tanya freaking Denali was throwing herself at you and you didn't bat an eyelid."

Megan rolled her eyes. "Yes, we did. Harmless fun. We make bets on people all the time, it's no big deal. But, more importantly, you have a date to crash."

"What?"

"Edward. You love this girl and, by the sounds of it, she loves you too. Go and find her!"

"But she's on a date!"

"It's not exclusive, is it? It's more than just the two of them."

"I guess not. But what about the shoot?"

Megan looked at Rosalie, who pursed her lips. "I'm sure we can use what we've already got… on one condition."

"What?"

Rosalie smiled. "You bring Emmett around more often. I like him."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Are we talking about the same Emmett?"

"You know more than one Emmett?"

I sighed, and stood up. "Fine, whatever, can I go?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and patted my shoulder. "Go get 'er, tiger."

**#x#**

I decided to go home to change into something more suitable for a club before I crashed this non-exclusive date. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that Tanya was staying at my apartment; she hadn't been in when I had come back the night before, and I hadn't bothered to wonder where she was. She pounced on me the moment that I came through the door. "Edward! Where have you _been_?"

"Working, Tanya," I said, stifling a sigh as I went through to my bedroom and flung my things down on my bed, opening a drawer to dig through my clothes.

She was by my side instantly, rubbing her hand over my back. "Aw, you do work _so_ hard Eddie," she cooed in a slightly breathless tone.

I flinched away from her. "Tanya! Stop…" I searched for the right words before giving up and saying, "Just, stop."

"Stop what?" she asked, pulling an innocent face.

"This touchy thing! And, what did you say about us being together? There is nothing between us, Tanya!"

She sighed. "Edward. We would make a great couple. Admittedly, we would probably argue a lot because we're just too similar but, hey, that makes for some good make up sex, right?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes.

"Look, I said that because of my movie, alright?" she confessed. "I've never done a _movie_ before, and you've done tons and-"

"So you thought that you'd announce our 'love' without my consent?" I interrupted, my eyes snapping open again. "Come _on_ Tanya! That's not the right thing to do. At all. Besides, I'm sure that's not the kind of attention that you want for this movie. Your film is aimed at teens and pre-teens and maybe their moms; telling them that you're dating me is… well, mildly stupid, to be honest."

I'd thought that Tanya might take offense at my words but she waved her hand in the air and laughed. "Oh, Edward. I thought that you – of all people – would know better than that. You should have realised by now that any attention is good attention, be it negative or positive. Those teen girls who kiss posters of you every night before they go to sleep want to come and see my film so that they can find out what I'm like. They either want to know what Edward Cullen's 'type' is, or how much of a bitch or bad actress I am so that they can bad mouth me." She raised a perfectly-plucked eyebrow. "Trust me; I know what goes on in their minds."

I pulled a face but I had to hand it to her; she wasn't wrong. "Whatever. But I'm not playing along with this so that you can make money, T. You've got enough as it is. Now, will you please get out of my room so that I can change."

A mischievous look came over her face. "Oh-"

I cut her off before she could go there. "Yes, you do have to."

Tanya pursed her lips. "Where are you going?"

I groaned. "Do you ever shut up? Out, okay? I'm going out. It's important and I'm already pretty fucking late so I'd appreciate it if you leave me alone."

"Can I come?"

"No."

"Why not? That's not very hospitable."

I glanced at the clock; I was late enough as it was and did _not _have time for this. "Fine. You can come. But please, for the love of God, no inappropriate touching, talking, or rumour-spreading. You are _not_ allowed to introduce yourself as my girlfriend, fiancé, partner, wife, transsexual boyfriend, or whatever else your twisted mind comes up with. There will be a woman there who is massively important to me, and I do _not_ want you talking to her; under _any_ circumstances. You _will_ put your foot in it and my life will be over. Do you understand?"

She laughed. "Oh, Edward, you're adorable."

"Do you understand?" I repeated.

"Yes, I understand." She beamed. "I'm going to change."

I groaned; what had I gotten myself into?

**Bella POV**

"Oh, Bella this one girl came up to me and said… Bella?"

"Yes?" I quickly snapped my gaze up from my hands, which were creating a mess by ripping up lots of tissues.

"What are you doing?" Jacob directed his eyes at the tiny ripped up pieces of tissue underneath my hands.

"Oh." I looked down at the mess. "I'm just tired," I lied, badly.

Jacob raised one eyebrow at me, and I knew that he didn't buy it, but he let it pass as he talked about a girl he had met at some kind of teacher training thing - I wasn't at all listening. My mind was preoccupied with other things; hence the ripping of tissues. All of what _Just_Another_Guy_ had said was floating around in my head. I wondered whether I _was _blowing this whole thing out of proportion; Edward would have been a fool not to have taken the great opportunity in England, and I _had_ been the one who hadn't turned up at the meadow… so the miscommunication could have been my fault. But, then again, surely he should have tried to make some effort to at least talk to me?

"Bella you're doing it again." Jacob laughed half-heartedly.

"Doing what?" I mumbled, looking innocently up at him.

"Doing this!" He waved his hands at me. "Zoning out!"

"I'm sorry… I'm… tired," I said again.

"Mmm hmm."

"Honest."

Jacob nodded and took a quick gulp of his drink. Then, he looked over my shoulder and his eyebrows creased above his dark eyes when he caught sight of something. "Bella, that guy's here."

"What guy?"

"The one who came to talk to you at school-" Suddenly Jacob's eyebrows shot up and he cut himself off. "Wait! No fucking way!" He leant forward and hissed, "That's Edward fucking Cullen!"

Shit. Why the hell was he here? "What?" I asked, before turning around to see him looking around. After a moment, his gaze fell across Jacob, and then his eyes met mine. They had a hint of sadness in them and that broke my heart.

Jacob piped up again. "Bella, he's walking this way! Do you know him or something?"

I turned back to my date. "Um…" I stalled. "Not… Well, I don't _know_ him as such-" I could suddenly smell him – he still used the same sweet aftershave. He stood directly between me and Jacob, between the bar stools that we were perched on beside the bar. He completely ignored Jacob like he hadn't even realised his presence – he was being rude, but I didn't care.

Edward gently placed a lock of fallen hair behind my ear, and then whispered in my ear, "Bella, can I _please_ speak to you outside?"

I felt goose bumps emerge all over my body; the scent of his mouth had been so close to mine and I was rendered speechless for a while. But Edward kept staring deeply into my eyes, making me unable to concentrate on anything. Edward pulled his famous, heart-breaking, crooked grin before grabbing one of my hands in his and pulling me out of my chair.

"I'll be right back Jacob," I barely said, still in too much of an Edward Cullen-induced haze.

Jacob pulled one eyebrow up at me and was about to say something, but Edward pulled me away and out of the nightclub before he could. I didn't even have it in me to feel bad for him.

No one even noticed us leave the club together; Edward was wearing a beanie hat which probably helped, but to me he was still one hundred percent recognisable. We exited a door and ended up outside on a little patio area. It was pretty cold tonight so we were the only ones outside.

"How come you're here?" I demanded, my tone much less irritated than I had intended for it to be.

"Alice." Edward laughed once, though it was forced.

I sighed, remembering Jasper saying that the day before.

Edward let go of my hand with a sigh and started pacing around, like he was trying to find the right words. He did this for a couple of minutes before finally stopping to turn around and smile at me. "Bella-"

But he was interrupted by a familiar blonde bombshell walking out of the club door. "Edward" Here you are!" said – I had to say it – a tart. She was wearing the shortest skirt in the whole wide world (that showed nearly _everything_) with a tight pink vest top that enhanced her boobs very well; she could have been wearing nothing and it wouldn't have made much of a difference.

"Tanya, please," Edward said sternly to her.

I blinked and looked again at the tart-girl, recognising her instantly now that I had heard her name. Tanya. Tanya Denali. _Edward_ was here with _Tanya. _

"But Eddiekins! Oh!" Tanya had finally spotted me; she gave me a quick once-over, before her eyes widened even further as she realised who I was. "Wow-ee. Bella Swan! Wow…" I could see Tanya trying to muffle a smirk.

My cheeks were beyond red by now. What had I done to receive _that_ look?

"Bella don't leave," Edward cautioned me, as though he could read my mind. "Tanya, I will be with you in a second." He paused and bent closer, his expression now menacing and infuriated. In a furious hiss he spat, "You _promised_, T."

"But… _Her!_" Tanya pointed behind her at me.

"Tanya, please just fuck the hell off!" Edward said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't shout, but the low, assertive voice that he used was much scarier than it would have been had he raised his voice.

Tanya pouted at Edward, before sighing. "Fine Edward, I'll be inside." She winked at him, before finally going back into the nightclub.

Edward shook his head, like he was trying to get all of the anger out of him; before looking up at me to give yet another intense stare. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it – I was just… shocked to see her here." I pretended to laugh it off, as I sat down on a pretty white bench behind me.

"No." Edward shook his head, looking angry again. "I don't mean about _that. _Although I do apologise for her." Edward slowly walked over towards me and sat down next to me. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for everything Bella," he whispered, pulling my chin towards him so that I had to look into those, sad emerald eyes and know that he meant every word he was saying. "I'm sorry for being an asshole. I'm sorry for not contacting you in so long. I'm sorry for leaving with that slut. I could never be as sorry for anything as I am for everything that I have done to you Bella." He looked down, still holding onto my chin. "But Bella… you've got to know how much this is hurting _me. _You were my everything! You were my world back then and without you I felt empty. Did you ever realise how much it hurt _me_ to leave you? And now, do you know how much it's hurting me for you to be like… like… well, like _this_ with me? I mean it's justifiable completely, but at the moment Bella, I _am_ hurting as much as you."

"Why… why leave then?" I whispered, trying so hard not to cry. His words had cut me deeply, and I knew that they only stung because they were true.

"I have been asking myself that question every day of my life since I left you!" Edward let go of my chin and stood up, pacing in front of me again. "I…I asked about you every time Carlisle or Esme visited me. And do you know what they said? They said they didn't know! They said that I'd hurt you so badly that you couldn't even visit them! The first time I heard that, I begged them to book me a place on the plane with them back home. At first they said that I was being stupid and that I'd made my decision and that I should stick to it, and that it would hurt you so much more if I came back now to see you, just to leave again. But I didn't care, Bella, I _had _to see you, somehow. I had little money, so couldn't afford the plane ticket on my own – the acting stuff had taken over my life somehow. But finally at Christmas, Esme and Carlisle promised me that I could go home with them at Christmas time- they'd even booked me a ticket. Twenty-first of December – the same stupid fucking day that my Christmas play was on; in which I had the lead in. I told the director of the school that I couldn't do the play and he said it would jeopardise my whole career if I didn't do it. I told Esme and Carlisle who promised to book me home on a different day, but it was Christmas and all flights back home were fully booked. Then term restarted and…" Edward's eyes were all misty and distance, like he was in a different world, far from here. He swallowed and the Adam's apple in his throat bobbed. "And then life went crazy. And… shit happened…"

I was dying inside; seeing him like this virtually killed me. The worst was that I had no idea what to do now. I felt for him, God did I feel for him, but still. He had still left me; surely he couldn't have cared that much? But his face… so full of agony and pain, it was hard not to believe him, even if he was just acting. And, hell, everyone knew that acting was something that he was good at.

I slowly stood up. "I need to go back and see Jacob," I tried to say firmly, turning around back to the door.

But a soft, velvet hand grabbed mine and spun me back around. Seconds later, my mouth was on Edward's; his sweet lips were pushing against mine roughly, but still so gentle and soft. His hands were around the back of my waist, stopping me from moving. Not that I wanted to. I melted right against him; feeling his warm, sweet smelling body all around me. Our lips created a perfect, heart-melting dance together. It could have gone on forever. But it didn't. Almost too soon, Edward had removed his face from mine, and our breaths were both heavy.

He whispered, "That's what our first kiss should've been like."

Then it hit me. Edward Cullen had just kissed me – and he wasn't drunk. I gaped at him, my mouth moving around words that wouldn't form.

Edward's cheeks actually tinted pink for a moment. "I'm sorry. I… I don't want to push you into anything, or-"

My own eyes searched his face wildly as I cut him off. "I need some time." My voice was weak and held absolutely no conviction.

His eyes met mine; once again informing me that he spoke nothing but the truth. "Sure. Take as long as you want. I'll wait for you, Bella. Always. Just… let me know when you're ready."

I nodded, my eyes stinging with tears that had sprung up at his words, and then roughly pulled my body away and ran back into the club. I banged into someone on the way in since my mind was buzzing too much to even think about where I was going.

"Bella? Where have you been? You've been ages!"

"Sorry Jake, I had some stuff… to sort out," I half-lied. I couldn't look at him; he was my boyfriend and I had just quite willingly kissed another man.

Jacob put his hands on my shoulders. "Bella you're white, you look ill? Are you ok?"

I shook my head. "I think… I don't feel too good. Do you mind if I go home?"

"Of course not. Come on Bells, I'll drive you."

I could tell that Jacob was dying to ask, dying to know what was going on, but I must have looked worse than I thought because he didn't press. Or maybe he was just a decent guy.

He dropped me off at home. I went in, locked the door and immediately poured myself a glass of red wine. I downed it and then poured another. I had half of that down the hatch in seconds before I slowed myself down, putting the glass on the worktop and refraining from touching it. I needed a clear head; falling into a drunken stupor was really not a good idea right now. Plus, it was Sunday and I still didn't drink on work nights.

My hands were shaking like crazy. I stood there for a long, long time, trying to gather my thoughts. Eventually, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I pressed number 3 on speed dial. She answered on the second ring.

"Alice," I said without giving her a chance to speak, "I need you to tell me something without asking any questions. Can you do that?"

Alice was silent for a moment, and then she started reeling off a list of numbers.

"Wait, wait, wait," I stopped her. "What?"

"Edward's number," Alice replied easily. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"I… um… what… but…" I spluttered embarrassingly before sighing. I didn't bother to ask how Alice knew that; I should have known by now that Alice just knew _everything_. "Can you repeat that a bit slower, please?" I asked eventually.

Alice repeated the number and I wrote it down with my still-shaking fingers.

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'm so glad that you two are going to get together!"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "No we're not. We're just gonna talk." _Yeah, Bella, keep telling yourself that._

"Hmm," Alice said, unconvinced. "But you will. Eventually. Well… I'll let you get on. See ya!" And then she hung up before I could respond.

I bit down hard on my lip. I even tasted blood. And then, I entered the number I had written in front of me into my phone and saved it simply as 'E.' Then, I opened a blank message and typed. I had to delete it a few times because my hands were shaking so much. But eventually, I was done with the short message. I stared at the screen for a long time, reading the two little words over and over again. And then, I clicked send.

_I'm ready._

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Dun dun duuuuuunnn! So… maybe they're gonna get their shit together now, huh? Then again, maybe not… you'll find out sooner or later ;)**

**In the mean time… this chapter is 12 pages long – that's the longest one yet! And it's pretty eventful too ;) What did ya all think of it? :)**

**I really have like nothing story-related to say… :/ It was my seventeenth birthday yesterday and I got a hoodie that has a picture of a monkey and the words "I'm edward's spider monkey" on if you're interested in that? :L And a t-shirt that says "Twilight: four books are not enough" and a LOT of Eclipse chocolate… And a new copy of Twilight because mine actually fell in half… And a poster that won't fit on my wall… And my birthday cake was a cake version of the front cover of Eclipse… That's it for Twilight related stuff LOL**

**And thank you so, so, so much to everyone who wrote anything on facebook. I counted up the birthday notifications and I think there were 69 which was like… whoa. I've never felt so loved :)**

**A review would be an absolutely wonderful belated birthday present… what? Just sayin'… ;)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks everyone :)**

**-Steph**


	15. A Broken Record

**Previously…**

_I bit down hard on my lip. I even tasted blood. And then, I entered the number I had written in front of me into my phone and saved it simply as 'E.' Then, I opened a blank message and typed. I had to delete it a few times because my hands were shaking so much. But eventually, I was done with the short message. I stared at the screen for a long time, reading the two little words over and over again. And then, I clicked send._

I'm ready.

**~PTP~**

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_**-How to Save a Life, The Fray**_

**Playing the Part**

**Chapter 15 – A Broken Record**

**Bella POV**

Once the message was sent, I drank down the other half of the glass of wine and then drew in several deep breaths through my nose, blowing them out through my mouth as I waited for some kind of reply.

I hadn't been waiting long when there was a soft knock on my door. I bit down on my lip and went over, taking one more deep breath – and wishing that I had poured myself another glass of wine – before opening it.

There he stood. I hadn't noticed what he was wearing earlier, but now it took the centre of my attention. It was just jeans, a white shirt and black tie but, God, he looked so good. I looked up and met his green, green eyes, letting them wash over me rather than pushing him away as I always did nowadays. I stepped aside, wordlessly inviting him in. Once he was inside, I checked for any people with cameras before shutting the door and turning to him as he took his beanie hat off.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I had pushed him back against the wall and touched my lips to his. I hadn't meant to, but I also hadn't been able to stop myself. He was like an addiction, and I needed my next hit more than I needed air to breathe.

Edward didn't pull away, though. In fact, he wrapped his arms around me and swiftly swapped places with me so that my back was against the wall. He hitched my legs up around his waist and pressed himself against me as he held me up, his hands under my bum. He was gentle with me at first, the pressure soft against my lips as he kissed me and then pulled away. But then his lips found mine again. And again. And then again. And, suddenly his mouth was attacking mine as he pinned me against the wall.

Our kisses were desperate, hard, passionate as we tried to make up for missed time. Our breaths were heavy and gasping when we split for a second before reconnecting.

I didn't pull away until he pressed his hips into me, grinding against me as his tongue slipped against mine. I lifted my head and looked at the ceiling, gasping for breath. I hoped that pulling in the air would help my brain to work logically again.

It didn't.

Edward's mouth moved up and down my chin, stirring up the butterflies that remained in my stomach. I took a moment to watch him. My fingers seemed stuck in his mussed hair; his eyes were shut, his long eyelashes appearing to brush his cheekbones; his eyebrows were furrowed a little, as though he was thinking very hard about something. It would have been almost childlike had his lips and hips not been doing what they were doing.

"Edward," I gasped his name to catch his attention, pulling a little too hard on his hair.

He groaned but pulled his lips from my skin, pressing his forehead to mine instead. "What?" he whispered.

"I… we can't do this," I said. I loosened my legs, silently pleading with him to let me go, but that just made his hold on me tighter and his body press closer against mine.

"I'm not letting you slip through my fingers again, Bella. You mean too much for that."

I shut my eyes so that I wouldn't be forced to take in his words. "I… you…" I sputtered. Then, I took a deep breath. "That doesn't change anything."

He was quiet for so long that I had to open my eyes to check that he hadn't fallen asleep or something. I wouldn't have been surprised; my presence must be pretty dull now that he had witnessed things that were so much better.

But he stared right back into my eyes, as though he was trying to figure me out. Eventually he responded with, "Why not? Why can't we do this Bella? I've had enough of dancing around you. I've waited for this for _eight years_!" His eyebrows narrowed even further. His finger came up and stroked down the side of my face. "What are _you_ waiting for?"

His words had me stumped, because I simply didn't know the answer. After stumbling for an excuse for a moment I said, "I'm just… not… ready."

"That's not what your message said." He punctuated his point with a kiss on the side of my mouth.

If my hands didn't like being in Edward's hair so much, I would have slapped myself, or at least let my head fall into my hands. I regretted this already. I really _wasn't_ ready. But then, when would I be? I couldn't see a time when I wouldn't be scared of committing to someone who had abandoned me once before already. I wasn't scared of commitment; but I was certainly terrified of abandonment. It hurt too bloody much. That was why I was playing it safe with Jacob…

Jacob! His face fluttered through my mind and guilt gathered in my stomach. I looked away at the floor as I realised that I had to end it with Jake, even if I didn't particularly like the thought of losing his company; or, worse, hurting him. But there was no way that I could call myself his girlfriend when I felt like this about someone else. Especially not when said someone else was still pressing me against the wall after kissing me like he had been lost in the desert for months and I was water.

"Secondly," I continued, like Edward hadn't made my first point completely moot, "I'm not technically available." I felt awful that this hadn't occurred to me before.

Edward obviously noticed that I had forgotten about Jake because he smirked before rolling his eyes. "Easily changed."

"Ugh!" I looked at him in disbelief. "And what if I like Jake, Edward? What if I'm engaged to him, albeit secretly, or at least intend to marry him? What if I love him?" It was all bullshit of course – if I loved Jacob, it was as more of a brother than a lover – but still. Edward had no right to presume that I could just let him go like that.

Edward's smirk just widened. "You don't," he said simply.

"And why do you think that?"

"He irritates you. I can tell. And you left him on your date to talk to me, and you just initiated that kiss, _and_ you didn't even think about him until you wanted to change the subject. So I think I have two points more than you."

"Two?"

"You said you were ready and then you weren't. And we both know how much you despise double standards. So I'm two points ahead." He shrugged, and for a moment I saw the old teasing Edward that I used to. Only, this one had a couple of laugh lines, was a hell of a lot sexier, and had his crotch pressed against mine.

I sighed but didn't object to his statement, and he chuckled under his breath before moving in to continue kissing me.

I turned my head, because I wasn't finished talking yet.

"There's another reason?" he asked, exasperated.

"Yes," I said. My voice was steadier than I felt it should be.

"Does this one actually count?"

I avoided his eyes and then took a deep breath and said, "Yes. Edward, since I last saw you – since I _knew _you – you've become… Jesus, you're a freaking phenomenon. Everyone loves you. Your face is on every cover of every magazine, everyone knows your name and you probably make more money in one second than I do in three years."

"But that… Bella, that doesn't even matter. It's just… it's just a job. It doesn't define me as a person. I'm still who I was then." He was serious now, just like me.

I shook my head. "That's not the problem."

"Then what is?"

"You're… you're everything. And I'm… well, I'm nothing. People like us are not meant to be together."

Then he got angry. "Bullshit!" he spat, his hands gripping me tighter. "Bella, you need to get glasses or some shit because you don't see the world the way it is. Just because I make a lot of money and people know my name doesn't make me any better than anyone. It doesn't mean that I have better morals, or a better personality, or even better looks. It's all false, all bullshit. That industry is built on lies, and deceit, and bullshit.

"I can be with whoever the fuck I want to; as long as they'll take me. And you're not _nothing_," he spat the word back at me like it was an expletive. "You're a teacher. You have inspired hundreds – no, _thousands_ of children to become better people. You're… you're the foundation of humanity. The ultimate example of who to be and what to do, aside from parents. You help others out of pure selflessness, and want them to do better than yourself. You want more for these kids than you do yourself; you want the best for each and every one of them because they're all unique, and they're all so clever in their own way. Even the ones that don't seem so clever intellectually have something they excel at. Your words, Bella. From high school. And you spoke them with such passion. You _love_ those kids, Bell. And you help them _so much_. Believe me, you are the very furthest thing from nothing. You're extraordinary, and incredible, and beautiful, and, hell, I want you. And I love you so much. And your inability to see yourself in a positive light is _not_ going to take away the one thing I've wanted for the past eight years." He took a deep breath, and then bent his head again.

This time, I didn't have the strength to reject him. He loved me. He said that he loved me.

His lips smothered mine with a passion that I hadn't ever felt before. I threw myself into the kiss, knowing that I would make sure that this was the last one we had before I could sort my shit out. I needed to be able to see clearly before I allowed Edward to take the last piece of my heart. Because while he could then piece it together and make it whole, he could also shatter it even more; it was a lot more brittle, and weak now than it was before. I needed to put a little more distance between us, be friends until I knew that my vision was unclouded, and that he wouldn't leave me.

So I kissed the hell out of him, pressing myself against him as much as he pressed against me, pulling his face closer to mine, pushing my fingers through his perfect silky hair.

"Shit, Bella," he groaned when he pulled away.

It took all of the strength I had, but I unwound my legs and carefully stepped down to the floor. I held onto his shoulders for a moment, until I gained my balance, and then I moved away, pushing my hand through my hair as I put distance between us.

"What now?" Edward murmured, closing the distance and winding his arms around my waist.

"Please let go," I whispered; I couldn't do this with him touching me.

"Didn't you hear a word that I just said?" His voice was angry again, but he conformed anyway.

"Yes," I breathed, "but that doesn't get rid of Jacob, and nor does it make me… I don't know." I turned to look at him. I decided to just lay my cards on the table. "Edward, I'm scared of what this could mean, okay? I…" I shook my head. "Just give me a bit of time. I'll… I'll end things with Jacob, and we can be friends until… until we can be something more."

I could tell by the set of his jaw that Edward wasn't one bit pleased with the assessment but he nodded all the same. "Okay."

"So…" I met his eyes with mine and held out my hand. "Friends?"

He clasped my hand in his and shook it, his eyes still holding mine. "For now."

I offered him a drink, but he rejected saying it was late and he had something he had to do. I watched him leave from my front window and then let the curtain fall into place, feeling slightly dejected.

But then, I sat on the couch with my bottle of wine and lifted the lid of my laptop. I waited for the screen to light up, and then signed into the IM system and waited. He signed in twenty minutes later and I instantly pulled up the pop-up window.

_Passionate_Writer: Yes._

_**Just_Another_Guy: ?**_

_Passionate_Writer: Yes, I love him._

_Passionate_Writer: So much._

**Edward POV**

I already knew it, of course – no one would kiss anyone else like that if they _didn't _love them – but it was nice to have it confirmed all the same. Even if I did wish that she was brave enough to say it to my face. But I knew Bella too well to know that she would have to hear the words from my lips first before she even considered articulating her feelings.

Though I was flying high, euphoric at her words, I played my part right. Like any good actor would.

_**Just_Another_Guy: What happened?**_

_Passionate_Writer: I don't know… he was just here and kissing me and_

_Passionate_Writer: I don't know. I think I've always loved him. That's why it hurt so much when he left._

_**Just_Another_Guy: For his pretty girl.**_

_Passionate_Writer: For his pretty girl. She's here now, too. She was with him last night. God, I hate her so much. She smirked when she saw me. Like I'm worse than her because every frickin person on the planet knows her name, her face, her fucking legs-up-to-her-neck._

_**Just_Another_Guy: She's famous?**_

_Passionate_Writer: Unfortunately. He is, too._

_**Just_Another_Guy: Would I know them? Know of them, I mean**_

_Passionate_Writer: Yes. Almost certainly._

_**Just_Another_Guy: Care to share?**_

_Passionate_Writer: Not particularly. You'd laugh because he's so amazing and talented and hot and here I am alone drinking my way through a whole bottle of wine alone and wittering on to you like some kind of adolescent schoolgirl. Fuck, schoolgirl is catching._

I actually laughed out loud.

_**Just_Another_Guy: Lol. Are you drunk?**_

_Passionate_Writer: Maybe just an iddy biddy teeny tiny bit._

_**Just_Another_Guy: You're adorable.**_

_Passionate_Writer: Um. Okay? Is that a compliment?_

_**Just_Another_Guy: Of course it is. I would never insult you, Bella.**_

I hesitated after I had sent it, trying to remember whether she had told me her name or not in one of these chats before. But she didn't comment on it so I presumed that either she had mentioned it, or she was too drunk to notice my slip-up.

_Passionate_Writer: You're a bit like him, you know. Well, kind of._

I tried not to panic at her words.

_**Just_Another_Guy: Really? How so?**_

_Passionate_Writer: You're nice. You comploment me_

_Passionate_Writer: *compliment_

_Passionate_Writer: We should meet one day_

Shit! I had guessed that she would want to meet up or know more about me sooner or later, but I had hoped for a bit longer. Some time to get to know her again before I was forced to see her face-to-face as my anonymous counterpart, before everything would fall apart again. I had, of course, considered agreeing to meet and standing her up, but the hurt that that would cause her would make me feel guilty for the rest of my life. I knew that I was over-thinking everything, but Bella meant so much to me that my mind was like a broken record; stuck on her.

I brushed my fingers across the keys, wondering how to reply, when the phone rang. I thanked God for the interruption and quickly typed

_**Just_Another_Guy: Phone's ringing, ttyl**_

I signed out and grabbed the phone just in time. "Hello?"

"Hi, Edward."

I had to held back my groan. "Hey, Tanya, what's up?"

"Could you come pick me up? My drive's gone… driveabouts."

I glanced longingly at the computer screen, but sighed and said, "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." I hung up after she had simpered her thanks, shut down the computer and grabbed my keys off of the worktop.

**~PTP~**

I hadn't meant to come here, I really, truly hadn't. But I had a day off from any kind of work at all and I just got in my car and… ended up here.

It had been just over a week since Bella had kissed me. I hadn't spoken to her since. At least, not in person. I had spoken to her plenty of times – at least once a day, except for one day – online. The second time she had apologised profusely for her drunken ramblings and I had told her not to worry about it, it was fine. And that was true. We fell back into our easy exchanges, but she didn't say a word about me again. She asked some questions about me and I used the tale I had fabricated in my head in case I should need it. I stuck as close to the truth as I could, but some of it was a little outlandish. As far as Bella knew, 'just another guy' was a twenty-six year old guy who had recently moved from England to Seattle, worked as a barista in Starbucks during the day and sung in bars at night as he tried to work his way to the top.

In exchange, I asked her about her writing, her job, and her life in general. She shared various details more than willingly – some that I knew, and some that I didn't. One thing that she told me that wouldn't leave my mind was that she wanted to move out of her 'crummy apartment' but didn't have the money. I didn't know what I could do to help (I was well aware that she would never accept any amount of money, no matter how small a dent it put in my wallet), but I did know that I wanted to do _something_.

When I wasn't talking to Bella, I had either been working, or placating Tanya and her many demands. Until Friday, that was, when a photo of us leaving my apartment block together had been front page news in the tabloids. Thank God the apartment block had good security because it had been pandemonium outside ever since. Tanya had been happy, basking in the attention, and I had been… well, pissed. I told her that this wasn't on any more, and she had to stay in a hotel. She had reluctantly gone, finally leaving me my apartment to myself again.

And Bella hadn't been online since. I couldn't help but wonder whether the papers had anything to do with that.

Now, it was Tuesday. Almost half past twelve. And I was sat in my inconspicuous silver Volvo, a block away from Bella's school. I got out and went through my preparation list for when I didn't want to be noticed. Hat down, glasses on, hood up, head down. I meandered toward the school, already wondering whether this was a bad idea. But my feet wouldn't turn back, so I kept walking until I was enveloped in the warmth of the corridor that I had walked down before.

My palms were sweaty now. I hoped to God that no one would notice me, especially not a teenaged girl. That would be awful. I had known this was one of the worst ideas I had ever had but… I couldn't seem to be able to help myself. I felt sick with nerves when I stopped in front of Bella's classroom door. I stood outside, out of sight, and watched her through the window. She was sat on the edge of the desk, looking completely at home as she engaged in some kind of debate with the kids in her class. A smile spread across my face when I saw the subject of the debate on the whiteboard: Wuthering Heights. Bella's favourite book.

Just then, the bell rang. Bella stood up, smiled at her class and then dismissed them. I stepped back into the shadows as the children filed out of the classroom. They all seemed relieved to have escaped and that made me slightly angry. I remembered being in high school, I remembered how little respect students held for their teachers. Or, most of them. I would have bet my bottom dollar that Bella didn't get the respect she deserved from these kids.

I waited until the stream of children stopped, and then I pushed the door wider. Bella was stacking books on her desk and humming quietly to herself. I guessed that that had been a good lesson, then.

Quietly, I snuck up behind her after pulling off my sunglasses, and then gently put one of my hands on each side of her waist. She jumped and twisted in my arms. "Jacob!" she gasped, and then her face flushed red when her eyes met mine. "What are you doing?" she hissed, alarmed.

I narrowed my eyes. "Jacob?"

She narrowed hers back. "He _is_ my boyfriend."

"I thought you were going to end it with him?" I challenged. There was more venom in my tone than I had wanted, but I couldn't do anything about that now. This wasn't like work; I couldn't get feedback and do another take.

Bella didn't like my tone. She pulled away from me with a huff, a scowl etched on her previously-happy face.

I instantly felt awful. I followed her around the back of her desk. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I'm sorry."

She sighed and turned around again. She looked me in the eye and leant back against her desk. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to surprise you. And I want to take you out for lunch on my day off," I told her with a shrug of my shoulders, attempting to be nonchalant.

"Edward," she said slowly, "I… you… we're not dating. You can't just turn up to take me out for lunch!"

"What's wrong with it? Friends go out for lunch all the time."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Friends don't push each other against walls and make out with them and then ignore them for a week. I don't have a clue what we are, Edward, but I don't think we're 'friends'."

"You said we were friends. Last week. And I haven't been ignoring you! I've been busy!"

She snorted bitterly. "I saw. I didn't know that you and Tanya were _still_ dating. I thought that ship had sailed long ago."

"We're not. You know that. I don't even… God!" I sighed. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you, Bella! You should know me better than that."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me; admit it, Edward, I barely know you now."

Her falsely-uncaring voice and sudden coldness after last week bothered me beyond words. I slammed my hand down on her desk to pull her attention back to me. "Goddammit, Bella! What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm trying to make things better here and all you're doing is making it fucking difficult as hell!"

The room fell into a loud silence. And then, to my surprise, she burst into tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just… oh God, Edward, I've been so stupid!"

I slipped an arm around her shoulder and gently pulled her over to a desk. I sat her down on one side and perched beside her. "What? What's the matter?"

She gasped in quick breaths. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

I felt butterflies gathering in my stomach. "Bella, you're worrying me. What?"

She turned her head into my shoulder. "I'm… so… stupid," she mumbled between sobs.

I rubbed circles into her back, and didn't pressure her. I just waited for her to calm down, though with every second that Bella didn't stop crying, my panic grew. When my panic level became critical, I whispered, "Bella, just tell me. Please."

She lifted her head and looked at my face for a long moment. "On Friday, I-" But then, the door opened and Bella was cut off.

We both looked up simultaneously to see Jacob stood in the doorway. He paused for a moment, shocked, and then his expression turned to one of outrage when he saw Bella's tears. "What's going on?" he demanded, coming fully into the room and closing the door behind him. He turned to me, suddenly in my face. "What have you done to her?"

"Jake, leave it," Bella mumbled, reaching a hand out to him. "He hasn't-"

"Be quiet a moment, Bella." Jacob swatted her hand away, and paid no attention to her.

My jaw clenched. I stood up so that he wasn't towering over me by quite so much – although he still did – and took his muscled bicep in my hand. I roughly turned him to face Bella. "At least pay the lady the attention she fucking deserves, asshole." I felt Jacob bristle as he shook me off, but he knew that I was right so didn't turn again.

Bella flushed as the attention turned to her. She wiped at her eyes. She seemed calmer now that Jacob was here, and that felt like a bad omen. Then, she pushed herself off of the desk so that she was standing up and said, "It's fine, Jacob. Edward and I were just talking."

Jacob looked at me. There was a glimmer of anger in his eyes. Then he turned back to Bella. "Okay. Well… lunch?"

Bella hesitated. She glanced at me, and then she nodded. "Sure. Let's go." And she slipped her hand into his, and they walked over to the door of the classroom and left. I stood there, her blatent rejection like a slap around the face.

But then the door opened again. Bella came back in and over to her desk. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Then, she looked at me and whispered, "I'm sorry," and then turned to walk away again.

I caught her fingers in mine. "Wait… what is going on? What happened to being friends? You were going to end this, Bella."

She extracted her fingers and murmured, "I know. It's… it's complicated. Goodbye, Edward."

As she walked away again, I got an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. One that emphasised her use of the word 'goodbye' rather than 'see you later.' When had my life become such a mess?

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aw, poor Eddie :( And what in the world is up with Bella? ;)**

**Hello again lovely loyal readers :) I hope you all had wonderful amazing Christmases and got lots of Twilight-related things ;) I know I did… so much, in fact, that Rob and Kristen should be on my doorstep to thank me personally for singlehandedly paying their wages ;)**

**Now… about the lateness of the update… Laura's laptop broke. Very badly. And then she dropped it when she fell down the stairs and somehow it was fixed :D So, the update could have come a lot later :) But, yeah, it's been done for a while, just not posted :)**

**I'm gonna shut up now, because I don't think I have anything else to say :/ Unlike me :/ Oh well :)**

**Thanks so much for all of the lovely reviews and please, please keep them coming :) Next update will be within the next month, guaranteed :)**

**Reviews make lovely belated Christmas presents, btw… just sayin ;)**

**Thanks so much everyone!**

**-Steph (and Laura)**


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